When the Trust is Broken...

Trust.  A key element in all relationships - both professional and personal.   Trust is an emotional act where you allow others to see your vulnerable side with belief that they will not take advantage of you.   Trust is a logical act as well, where you have certain expectations and have faith that those expectations will be returned.   Trust will either make or break a relationship.

Trust doesn't happen overnight.  There's no magic potion that you drink or sprinkle and it's there.  Trust grows day after day and there's no set number of days when it will happen.  Through friendship, love, attention, respect and effort - trust is earned.  Its a level of comfort and companionship that you have reached with another person.    Once you have it with another individual - you know it and most of all, they know it.     There are varying levels of trust and past experiences can hinder your ability and willingness to trust, but if you are one of the lucky few, it can change your life both in a personal and professional way.

For me, the best feeling in the world is when someone says to me - I trust you completely.   Its a responsibility and one that I take very seriously, both in business and in my personal life.   Trust is something that I hold very dear to my heart and I try to put forth 150% effort into every relationship that I value.   I work on a daily basis to earn and keep the trust that I have been given.   I feel it is a precious and fragile gift from another person.  

In life, we've all had people come and go who have enhanced and changed our lives for good, bad or ugly.   We've all had people who have earned our trust and we gave it willingly back to them.  What happens when the trust is broken?    From my own experience, I know that in both business and personal relationships - breaking of trust totally taints our image of every action, word and intent - to the point where we feel we can no longer be in a relationship the same way or do business the same way.   Can we?     How do you regain and rebuild trust once it's broken?  Is it possible? 

I am by no means an expert in psychology or human emotions.   I am actually not an expert in anything.   I work hard and share my passion with those I meet, but I am definitely not an expert.   I am a small town Mississippi girl who writes from the heart and from personal experiences.  I've spent the past 25 years honing my craft and trying to find my way in the world.  I've had some successes and I have had my fair share of failures.   Through it all,  I know that my greatest asset is my relationships.

From my own experiences, communication is the most important step.  Honestly also plays a huge role in the rebuilding process.   Compassion, empathy and understanding play yet another.   In every relationship, there are two individuals who willingly committed to it and those same two individuals have to be just as committed to get it back.  It won't be an easy process, but with complete effort, it can be regained.     (Afterall, wasn't there a reason you trusted this person in the first place?  Aren't we all allowed a mis-step?)   I believe this to a certain degree and know that I have given friends and colleagues second and third chances...and have not lived to regret it.

 What do you do if the trust is broken over and over again?   Obviously, its time to re-evaluate whether or not the relationship was ever genuine in the first place.  I do know and truly believe that all of our failures and set-backs help us to become stronger and better.   They serve as reminders of what's important and what it takes to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life.    I also know that rebuilding of trust in both a business and personal sense takes being open minded  enough to allow yourself to forgive.    

Many times, when the trust is broken, people take the approach of doing nothing.  They just sit and wait to see what the other person is going to do.   For me, this does nothing to help, AND only makes the situation worse.   I strongly believe that whatever you want in life, you must be willing to put forth the effort into getting it.   You must be open, willing and committed to getting back what you lost.   We aren't all psychics and can't read minds, so again, communication is absolutely essential to re-connecting. 

Most of all, when the trust is broken, take responsibility.  In business or in life, we all want to know that the other person is willing to stand up and say that they were wrong and truly mean it.   Be willing to tell the other person what is going to be different this time and know that you are going to have to work hard and put forth much more effort to get the trust back.

Trust is THE foundation of any great relationship in business and with our family and friends.  I once read, that  without trust, a relationship is like a car on blocks. It isn’t going anywhere… and after a while, it will rust and deteriorate.   When the trust is broken,  YOU hold the keys.

Should You Treat Customers as More than Customers?

Should you treat your customers like... more than customers?  The great debate that I have encountered for more than 2/3 of my own career and I can tell you that my answer then and now, is the same.

Yes.  

As you go out in the world to seek your own way, its difficult to know all of the do's and don'ts.   I mean, seriously, have you got time to check the list to see if you're supposed to be doing something when you're in front of  a customer?   For me, I found out early on... that I cannot be anything other than me.   I tried all the "so called" checklist methods.  I tried to follow in the footsteps of those before me who found greatness.   I tried to be everything and anything but who I truly was... and I can tell you, I was completely and utterly miserable.    Once I realized that trying to be something I wasn't and focused on just being me and letting customers see and get to know  "me", I started seeing success.   I found that people liked me and the fact that I was so open and genuine.   I began to develop "real" relationships with my customers.   I began to see them as more than "just" customers.   They were people... why... they were friends.  


Is it really possible to do business with friends?   Trust is essential in every relationship, whether business or personal.   Trust is the backbone for creating and keeping successful and long-term customers.   You cannot BUY trust.  You can only EARN it and work to keep it. 

Trust.   It makes me feel so good when someone says to me, I trust you completely.  It means that I have earned that comment in some way.  It means that my actions and follow-ups and effort have been noticed.   It means that you have developed a solid relationship between two individuals who like each other and are very comfortable not only doing business but being friends as well.     There are many customers who you won't have this type of relationship, but there are many that you will.  Be grateful for those because they will enrich your life in so many ways.

Does being friends mean you owe these customers something extra?  In my own mind, its a bonus by becoming friends.   For me personally, it challenges me to exceed their expectations.   Customers  like to feel that you are going the extra mile for them.  When you're friends with them, I have found that they appreciate that extra mile even more.   (Think about how you feel when you're the customer and someone goes out of their way to make you happy.)  Its a great feeling! 

I've had a few supervisors who told me that my way of doing business was wrong.  I have had one of them tell me that you cannot be friends with customers and that the "company" owned the relationships.  Well... they were wrong then and they are wrong now.    Relationships cannot be "owned" by anyone.   Relationships are developed, nurtured and maintained by people.   I have often told my own consulting clients when developing their customer base, don't micro-manage your sales people.   Allow their personality to shine and let them represent your brand by being themselves.  If a sales person knows the product and believes in it... the rest will take care of itself.   The key to success is not the product or company - it's the person selling it. 

My rules of thumb for selling have been the same for 25 years:  Sell yourself, sell the product or service and then sell your company.  IN THAT ORDER. 

So... as I sit here today,  I am smiling and happy.   I know that when I go out into the world to meet new people and share my new passion for whatever project I may be working on... one thing is for certain - they will meet the "real me" and they will immediately become part of my family.   All the critics can say its not "professional".   They can say that its too personal, but for me - it's success.   And, personally... I like success!