De Ja Vu. Time for Some Adjustments.

Have you ever been in a situation or place... where you felt like you had been there before.  It was so familiar that you felt like you were re-living it.   Yes, I'm talking about De ja Vu!  We've all had moments where we've experienced that feeling and we felt connected to that moment like we were stopped in time somehow.    This past week-end, I experienced De Ja Vu in a different sense.    I had been doing some reading and came across an article that captured my attention.   At the top of the page was the number 85 and then the percentage sign.  85% in a rather large font.

%

Well, if you have read my blog from the beginning, you will know that 85% is a special number to me as it represents some very sound advice that my mentor gave me ... many years ago.  My blog was about Attitude.  If you haven't read it, please feel free to go into my archives and bring it back to life.   Short version of the advice was that my mentor drew a "pie chart" showing one part with the number 15% and the larger portion with a huge 85%.   The lesson was that 85% of our success in sales or life for that matter was attitude and only 15% was skill.    It's valuable advice and one that we should all remember in good times and bad.  Chin Up!  

Now... as I looked at this article... I thought... how ironic... what a sense of De Ja Vu... to see that number again... so I began reading.   The article was on communication.   According to numerous surveys, approximately 85% of our success in life is attributed directly to our communication and relationship building skills.   Could there be a direct connection in this piece of valuable information and the information I was given so many years ago... I definitely believe that they both walk hand in hand.   Why?

Relationships are one of the foundations in our lives. Communication, to me, is the heart and soul of every relationship you have, whether it's business or personal.  Communication skills are not always easy nor are they everyone's best asset.   Most relationships that have open and continuous dialogue last longer and are healthier according to this article than those that struggle with communication.   So... wouldn't it make sense that having a positive attitude would be a complement to building solid relationships?  We all know that negativity is like a disease... once it sets in... it's hard to get rid of it.   We've all experienced it at work, at home.. basically everywhere.  So... yes... it makes sense that attitude would be linked to our communication skills.   The more I thought about this... the more I agreed.

We've all been in relationships that have run their course for whatever reason.  Have you ever thought about what made them fail?   Have you taken time to really take a look at your own participation within them and been honest with yourself about your own attitude and your communication skills?  I think that we are all guilty of thinking that we aren't to blame for relationships gone bad... when the reality is... we equally share the blame with the other person.

 What happens when you're in a relationship and the communication lacks or is one-sided?   Have you ever been in a discussion... and you got frustrated because you weren't getting your point across or better yet, because you couldn't understand the other person's point?  Have you ever given a presentation where you were trying to convey an idea or thought... and your audience sat there with the deer-in-headlights look?   Have you ever been mad or upset and you were given the silent treatment when all you wanted to do was talk (communicate) to work through the problem?

We've all had our share of communication issues and if we ask ourselves honestly, we've all been at fault for failing in them at one time or another.   How do we avoid this?  How can we become effective communicators so that we don't get frustrated or felt we lacked in this area?  As I read this article, I sat there and tried to really open my mind and was shocked at their answer to these questions.  Okay... maybe, not shocked, but surprised.   The key to effective communication, first and foremost is to be an effective listener.   Interesting, right?    As I thought about this, I began to see and agree with the logic.  If we become a good listener, then we will be more apt to think and choose our words more carefully.

For me... I think there are certain situations where we excel in communications and others where we fail significantly.   I know that whenever I have to get up in front of a group of people... no matter how big or small... I'm always nervous.  I was once told... that's a good sign.   Usually, when I get up there... I'm able to calm down and go on about my business... but it's always scary.   I tried to think if I had ever been given any advice about communicating through-out my career and I remembered that I had when I began having to present at board meetings and larger events.   A good friend of mine said to me... it's okay to be nervous, that gets your adrenaline going, when you get up in front of people... imagine that you are having a conversation with one of them.  Speak like you would.. in everyday life.  Don't be anything that you're not... Be yourself.

Today, as I think about that... I know that they were right.  I'm sure there are many more articles out there that provide great tips on being a better communicator.   We could all use a brush up, I'm sure.  For me, I'm going to remind myself to be a better listener.  I know that from time to time, we all forget to do this... and honestly, doesn't the person we are conversing with or presenting to .... deserve that.

85%.   De Ja Vu.. over and over again... twenty something years later.   I think in both cases... sound advice deserves sound action.   Communication is the key to every successful relationship and it's definitely the core.   We should all take a few moments to evaluate our communication skills in all of our relationships.   We should all take a step back to review our own attitude and the attitude that we are conveying in all of our relationships.  It's easy to slip.  After all , we are human and we all deal with ups and downs every single day.   It's just a matter of reminding ourselves to be positive and to look for the positive.   When we do this... it should have a positive impact on our communication and our relationship building.  Then.. we should ask ourselves, are we giving our best effort?   Are we truly trying to listen to what is being said to us so that we have the opportunity to really think about our own answers?  If we aren't...

It's time... we start.

Dance With the One Who Brung Ya....

Dance with the One Who Brung Ya is a phrase that is very close to my heart, as well as something that I learned very early in life and my career.  It's a message that has served me well through-out the last 27 years and one I'm not likely to forget.   

So... what does it mean?   There's several versions of the quote itself, but the meaning and gist of it is the same in all accounts which boils down to one thing - LOYALTY and a meaning of don't ever forget those who helped you, believed in you , stood beside you and were there for you when nobody else seemed to be.  

We all seek success in different ways and for most of us, we are barreling down many roads before we find the one that leads us where we eventually want to go.  Somewhere along the way, we all had someone or several someone's who brought us to the party, so to speak.   They were the person or person(s) who inspired us; taught us; introduced us to colleagues and friends; included us in their own lives and networking; shared their failures and successes; they motivated us; advised us in ways that we didn't always like; listened to our challenges, ideas and offered a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on; they provided us with support; gave us an honest answer; and most of all they believed in our potential and ability to become successful in our own right.   

Through-out my own career, there have been many people who have helped to shape, mold, support, encourage and be there when the failures came as well as the successes.   In my first "real" career, as a pharmaceutical sales representative for a generic and brand wholesaler, my boss and mentor, used this saying often and meant it.   "Dance with the One Who Brung Ya... because loyalty and relationships are the keys to success."  He drilled it home every opportunity and as I've often said in many of these blogs, I owe him a great deal because he taught me in a way that allowed me to reach my full potential and I have never forgotten who brought me to the party.  He wasn't the easiest boss to work for,  trust me, we disagreed on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was a teacher and he truly wanted his team to succeed.  He knew that if they succeeded, he would succeed.  It's a lesson that I am forever grateful and often reminded of daily.  Through the years we became friends and to this day, when he offers advice, I listen.  

I'm so blessed and fortunate to have established and maintained so many relationships in not one career but two.   I have not forgotten who helped me along the way in both starting with the mentioned former boss in the earlier paragraph to the countless of friends and colleagues who picked me up when I was down, encouraged me, motivated me and most of all believed in me.   Those individuals will always have a very special place in my heart.   The words "thank you" just don't seem adequate at times, but I've always tried to nurture and take care of my relationships because they are fragile and valuable.   

As I've become a manager and even as a friend, I've tried to always keep this phrase close to my heart... but there have been times when I've found myself in situations where I've been on the other side of the coin... and felt that those that I supported, motivated, listened to, helped, encouraged, stood beside and believed in..... forgot and somewhere along the way... left me behind.   Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe my own feelings just got hurt because the time they once had for me, no longer was available or made available......I'm not sure what happened along the way or why things changed.   I just know that from my perspective it seems that as they've grown and found success...  I don't seem as important in their lives anymore.    Time is a valuable gift and when we share it with those we trust, love, respect and care about it allows our relationships to continue to grow.   

It's amazing... in the beginning,  the time, resources and care that we all take when investing in a new relationship, whether business or personal.   Once we are in the relationship and its firmly established, we should make sure that we are not forgetting what got us the relationship in the first place.  

Often, when we get busy and time or care isn't given the same as it once was...and as more success happens,  the relationship begins to crumble IF we don't stop and make time to get back on the right road.   We should all take a good look at the relationships in our lives and ensure that we are treating others as we want to be treated with loyalty, integrity and respect.   We should never forget those who brought us to the dance and most of all... we should never be too busy for them.  What would have happened if they had been too busy for us when we needed them?  What would have happened if they had never helped us?   

To this day... I'm still dancing with the one and others who brung me!  Are YOU?  

What First Impression Do You Make?

This week, I'm on a crusade for first impressions.   I guess its' been on my mind since my last plane ride.   There were many times when you sat in first class and the folks around you were very well dressed businessmen and women who actually took time to dress.  Nowadays, I am shocked that some people actually wear some of the things that they do out in public and they are sitting in first class.   Maybe it's not fair to judge a book by it's cover, but, isn't there such a thing as common sense?  

To me, a first impression is the last impression.   I realize that many people don't believe in it while others feel very strongly about it.   I am one of those people who feel that making a good first impression is one way to open doors to opportunities and have long lasting relationships.  I guess I just feel like it's hard to recover from a bad first impression because the image is already built up in your mind.    


When you go out into the world to make your own way, life is an adventure and you never know who you're going to meet or how they may impact your life somewhere down the line. If you go about your daily life without ever caring what you look like or smell like, then in all likelihood, success is not going to cross your path anytime soon.    If you take time each and every day to actually care about your appearance, then chances are you'll be taken a bit more serious and you'll actually feel better about it.   Who knows who the person sitting next to you on the airplane might be?  

Many years ago,  (during my first career), I had conversations with several of my colleagues on first impressions.   At the time, I was doing a number of interviews and honestly, I was shocked at some of the appearances.  What really made it difficult was the fact that those who were applying for positions were more than qualified for the job - so, it was something that I really couldn't comprehend.   I'm not saying that you should go out and spend boo-koodles of dollars on something new every time you have an interview or important event, but what I am saying, is that in my personal opinion - taking time to be groomed, pressed clothing and making the effort goes a long way.

Traveling can be tiring and I certainly understand the need to be comfortable, but in today's society, you can actually dress up jeans.   You don't have to look like you just rolled out of bed and never picked up the comb.   (And yes, I am one of those people who is afraid to go out running errands without getting fully dressed because I'm worried of who's going to see me. )  Yes, I have done it and every time, I run into someone and feel so embarrassed that I have on my favorite run-down t-shirt and such.

In business, I have found that when you are dressed and groomed, you are taken more seriously.   I know that clothes don't define a person, but again, if you lose them with the first impression, you aren't likely to gain them back, regardless of how good you are at what you do.   I have always found that by putting my best foot forward in every meeting has allowed me the opportunity to let people get to know me and it made developing a relationship easier.   I recently read an article where experts were saying  that when you go in a meeting and talk to a new person, within a few seconds of your meeting you have been assessed. This assessment can be even at a glimpse.

Isn't it true of yourself that when you look at people for the  first time, you evaluate their appearance, behaviors,  ways and styles; each and every thing from head to toe.   Aren't you watching  conduct, characteristics, body-gestures and even grooming and outfits?   From  accessories like jewelry, watch, and even their briefcase?

Within a few moments of your first glimpse you have a  long lasting image of the other person.   Either that person has won you over or you may be disheartened.  We live in a much more relaxed society than we once did and with the uncertain economic times, it's easy to get depressed and not care.  I guess the reality is when you stop caring, you are holding your ownself back from success.   Sometimes, when I'm down and don't feel like getting dressed... I know that my whole disposition is different.   We all go through days where we just want to stay in our pj's and spend the day lounging around.  (And isn't that exactly what we do on those days... lounge around?)   Should we take this attitude when we travel?  When we have an important meeting? If nothing else, shouldn't we have some respect for others and just take time to look appropriate? 

I guess I reflect on the people that I have always taken 2 or 3 looks at and thought to myself, wow, they are successful or... to the other spectrum... what on earth were they thinking?   You either have a warm, fuzzy feeling about someone from their first impression or you immediately think, they need to get a life.   (Don't say that you haven't done it... we all have done it!)

Isn't it worth the time and effort each and every day because yes, first impressions do make a difference.    What first impression do you make?   Take a few moments and ponder it, your answer might shock you.  

When the Trust is Broken...

Trust.  A key element in all relationships - both professional and personal.   Trust is an emotional act where you allow others to see your vulnerable side with belief that they will not take advantage of you.   Trust is a logical act as well, where you have certain expectations and have faith that those expectations will be returned.   Trust will either make or break a relationship.

Trust doesn't happen overnight.  There's no magic potion that you drink or sprinkle and it's there.  Trust grows day after day and there's no set number of days when it will happen.  Through friendship, love, attention, respect and effort - trust is earned.  Its a level of comfort and companionship that you have reached with another person.    Once you have it with another individual - you know it and most of all, they know it.     There are varying levels of trust and past experiences can hinder your ability and willingness to trust, but if you are one of the lucky few, it can change your life both in a personal and professional way.

For me, the best feeling in the world is when someone says to me - I trust you completely.   Its a responsibility and one that I take very seriously, both in business and in my personal life.   Trust is something that I hold very dear to my heart and I try to put forth 150% effort into every relationship that I value.   I work on a daily basis to earn and keep the trust that I have been given.   I feel it is a precious and fragile gift from another person.  

In life, we've all had people come and go who have enhanced and changed our lives for good, bad or ugly.   We've all had people who have earned our trust and we gave it willingly back to them.  What happens when the trust is broken?    From my own experience, I know that in both business and personal relationships - breaking of trust totally taints our image of every action, word and intent - to the point where we feel we can no longer be in a relationship the same way or do business the same way.   Can we?     How do you regain and rebuild trust once it's broken?  Is it possible? 

I am by no means an expert in psychology or human emotions.   I am actually not an expert in anything.   I work hard and share my passion with those I meet, but I am definitely not an expert.   I am a small town Mississippi girl who writes from the heart and from personal experiences.  I've spent the past 25 years honing my craft and trying to find my way in the world.  I've had some successes and I have had my fair share of failures.   Through it all,  I know that my greatest asset is my relationships.

From my own experiences, communication is the most important step.  Honestly also plays a huge role in the rebuilding process.   Compassion, empathy and understanding play yet another.   In every relationship, there are two individuals who willingly committed to it and those same two individuals have to be just as committed to get it back.  It won't be an easy process, but with complete effort, it can be regained.     (Afterall, wasn't there a reason you trusted this person in the first place?  Aren't we all allowed a mis-step?)   I believe this to a certain degree and know that I have given friends and colleagues second and third chances...and have not lived to regret it.

 What do you do if the trust is broken over and over again?   Obviously, its time to re-evaluate whether or not the relationship was ever genuine in the first place.  I do know and truly believe that all of our failures and set-backs help us to become stronger and better.   They serve as reminders of what's important and what it takes to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life.    I also know that rebuilding of trust in both a business and personal sense takes being open minded  enough to allow yourself to forgive.    

Many times, when the trust is broken, people take the approach of doing nothing.  They just sit and wait to see what the other person is going to do.   For me, this does nothing to help, AND only makes the situation worse.   I strongly believe that whatever you want in life, you must be willing to put forth the effort into getting it.   You must be open, willing and committed to getting back what you lost.   We aren't all psychics and can't read minds, so again, communication is absolutely essential to re-connecting. 

Most of all, when the trust is broken, take responsibility.  In business or in life, we all want to know that the other person is willing to stand up and say that they were wrong and truly mean it.   Be willing to tell the other person what is going to be different this time and know that you are going to have to work hard and put forth much more effort to get the trust back.

Trust is THE foundation of any great relationship in business and with our family and friends.  I once read, that  without trust, a relationship is like a car on blocks. It isn’t going anywhere… and after a while, it will rust and deteriorate.   When the trust is broken,  YOU hold the keys.

Leaders are PEOPLE too!

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Lead and they will follow.... hmmmmm...

I don't know about you, but when my family or friends get together, there's tons of good conversation going on about a gamut of topics.  Its not uncommon to have a casual conversation turn into a debate or a really passionate exchange.  This past week-end was no exception which led to deep thought and eventually this posting.   Every now and then, I do love these hearty discussions because they challenge me to expand my own opinions or views.  Sometimes I walk away thinking how wrong I was about something or to the other end of the spectrum, how dead on in my thought process I was to the others.   Well, the latest exchange happened when we were discussing various leaders - both on a local, regional and national level.  The conversation was somewhat eye-opening because I had never really thought about how people might differ on what they see in a person as a leader.  Honestly, I was shocked at some of the individuals that others thought were good leaders.  Inside, I was thinking - no way!  Oh my!   As the conversation became more passionate, I began to think that maybe I had the wrong idea.  It led me to some agonizing questions about my own abilities and eventually to the questions of  what is a leader anyway?  What makes a good leader?

Now... after all these questions, my brain hurt.  I decided to look up the definition to see if the dictionary agreed with me and my thinking.

A leader is a person who has a vision, a drive and a commitment to achieve
 that vision, and the skills to make it happen. 

Well, that's pretty close to my own definition.   I believe that a leader is a person who has a vision and also a plan or strategy on how to achieve it.  I believe that a leader has to be able to problem-solve if the implementation process doesn't go exactly as planned and be able to make decisions to get back on track.  I believe that a leader has to be fair and open.    Most of all I think a leader has to have the drive and passion to stay focused and see the vision through to the end.  A leader has to believe so that all of the followers will as well.   In my personal opinion, these are traits that set a true leader apart from others.  Passion.  I've blogged about it before and I continue to stand behind it 100%.  Passion definitely makes a difference in how others see you and react to you.   Leaders have to be strong and stay the course regardless of the obstacles that happen along the way.  

One of the things that I have found that has helped me in my own journey as a leader is the fact that I love people.   I love the exchange of ideas, thoughts and just good ole' general conversation between people.  I genuinely appreciate the opportunity to get to know people,  build relationships and nurture them.  Leadership is also about motivation.  If you're a people person and have a genuine interest in others, you learn what their strengths and weaknesses are and what helps them to succeed.   You learn the right approach to help them get excited to want to excel.  You learn what challenges them to do their best.   I've met people who absolutely brought out the very best in me.   They challenged me to be better than  I was the day before.  They helped ignite the passion and the creative energy that leaders need to thrive and succeed.  For those individuals, I am extremely grateful.  

Lastly, I also feel that a leader has to be positive and effectively communicate with others.   Its not always easy, but leaders have to be able to adapt to any situation and have a positive attitude and provide positive feedback.   Its what allows them to help others in their tasks.   All of my blog posts revolve around my own experiences whether in my personal or professional life.   I've made tons of mistakes as a leader if you've read any of my posts prior to this one.   I've not always been a good leader as I look back and maybe its because at the time, I didn't really know how to be one.   I had a great mentor at the very beginning of my first career and I've written about him often.  I respect him and truly like him as a person.  I value his advice to this day. He would be the first to tell you how much I've grown since the beginning of my career and how much I've changed and adapted.  I'd like to think that all of my flaws as a leader in the past were not necessarily failures but opportunities that provided me with valuable learning tool that has helped me become the person I am today.

Nowadays,  I try to surround myself with positive people and trust me... that is not an easy task in itself.   I try very hard to look at the glass half full, not half empty.  I try my best not to react, but to think and listen.  I still falter and I still have to "regroup", but with every day that passes, I keep getting more and more consistent.

Some people are gifted and naturally born as great leaders.   Most of us, it takes effort to learn good skills and practice those on a daily basis. A leader dreams and finds a way to follow those dreams to reality.  My best success stories are ideas or thoughts that mattered and with all my heart, soul and passion came to fruition.    Whenever we slip or fall as leaders, we get back up and continue to move forward because afterall, isn't that what a good leader does - perseveres and moves forward.   

YES... it is all about the EFFORT.

Happy Friday.  It seems I've been called out on my views of a particular subject - Efforts vs. Results. I made a statement earlier in the week that went something like this....   It is my opinion that if you put forth the effort, results will follow.  So, let me just place it all in writing so everyone knows my humbled opinion on this particular topic.

 I am a true believer in effort.   I believe that effort catupaults results and that without it, you have no results.   I am a firm believer in setting goals... something to focus your efforts toward.   I also believe that with every ounce of effort you put into something success will find you two fold.  Over the course of my 25 years of experience, I've had the opportunity to manage a lot of individuals.   Some made tremendous effort and reaped the rewards.  Some who made very little and well... they didn't last very long at their job.    I am a big believer of focusing on effort and trying to help individuals understand that with it, you will see results.   I don't ever want to look back over my life and say that I didn't praise someone for their effort.   If they truly gave it their heart and soul, then they have achieved results of some kind.  

Effort is the one defining point of you as an individual.   It shows your ability, it shows your determination, it shows your passion, it shows your motivation, it shows your desire.... and in the end, it will show you results.   You cannot get discouraged just because you don't always see quantifiable results every single time.   What would life be without the challenge of putting forth effort time and time again to get results? 

What exactly is effort? 

1  

exertion of physical or mental power: It will take great effort to achieve victory.

2.

an earnest or strenuous attempt: an effort to keep to the schedule.

3.

something done by exertion or hard work: I thought it would be easy, but it was an effort.

4.

an achievement, as in literature or art: The painting is one of his finest efforts.

5.

the amount of exertion expended for a specified purpose: the war effort.

I truly believe that every activity has a series of steps (effort) that is needed for results to happen.  When going into a project or objective, it is always good to identify the most critical and direct steps.  Get organized and have a plan, but put forth the effort required.   In doing so, the results will happen and once they do, you will begin to see that identifying your steps and learning how to focus your effort will create the desire results needed or wanted. 

I've never been a person to focus on the results as part of training or as part of becoming successful.   I use the results as my goal or my reward, showing that with great effort, this is what can be obtained.  I do believe that results should be used as a motivator for the effort, but that the focus is entirely placed on the effort.   If you focus on results... completely, then, you're missing out on the most important part of success.  What did it take to get those results?

 The worst thing that you can do to someone is to take away when they are truly trying... they have put their steps in place and they are making the effort.   The reality is... sometimes, you don't always reach your goal or reward on the first attempt.   The great thing about effort is that if something is NOT working... you re-group, change your steps until you find the right ones that get you to the result.  

Focusing on effort also allows you an opportunity to really see whats important,    In your employees, your projects, your business, school, etc.   If you are going to launch a new social media campaign... its going to take effort.  You need to come up with steps and a focus for your effort to get to your end result.  What is it you hope to accomplish?   What effort will it take to get there?   Along the way... you may see that some of your steps need "tweaking"... does this mean that everything you've put in to this point... is wasted?  NO.  It means, that while putting forth the effort to accomplish a particular task, you learn what works or doesn't but every effort made will yield some kind of result.  

The other problem is whether you believe it or not, when working hard and putting forth the effort, you actually are getting results.   You are learning how to maximize those efforts with every set back you may have and every time you put forth effort you do yield some kind of result.   You have to always have a great attitude in life... and you have to focus on the process (the effort put forth), not the results.  (Sorta like saying... don't put the cart before the horse.)  I've seen people who are greedy and they focused entirely on the results.   They feel if they don't get the outcome, then they weren't successful.   They feel the need to quanitify success by results.  Part of becoming successful is going through the steps and not all successes have quanitfiable results.  Every effort we put forth in making a business grow, is part of yielding a result.  Every effort we put forth in a relationship is building it.  Helping it develop and become all that it can be.

As managers or leaders, it is our responsiblity to re-group when efforts don't provide the results wanted.   Sometimes, a particular task may need a different set of steps.  It is not our roles to take away the pride of someones effort and tell them it was for nothing.

Results can only happen when effort is put forth.   If you go to work or school every single day and put forth your best effort, you WILL get results.   If you are playing any type of sport, and go out every single time and put forth effort, you WILL get results.   If you go through your every day life putting forth effort, your life will see results. 

What exactly is results?

–noun

3.

something that happens as a consequence; outcome.

4.

Mathematics . a quantity, expression, etc., obtained by calculation.

5.

Often, results. a desirable or beneficial consequence, outcome, or effect: We had definite results within weeks.

—Idiom

6.

get results, to obtain a notable or successful result or response; be effective

Negative results are always hard to take in business and even in our personal lives.  We want what we want... when we want it.   Many times from my own experience, I have found that the reason for negative results is that we tend to complicate a simple task, or we don't follow our steps, or simply put, we don't understand the task so its really hard to put forth the effort needed to accomplish results.  I have also found that I have learned more from my own negative results although the positive ones certainly pay much better.  I've always tried to believe that everything happens for a reason and that the glass is half full... and with that attitude, I've taken the negative results as an opportunity to re-evaluate processes or steps, not only for myself and others, but for the company.  

I really believe that if you focus on EFFORT and not results, you will find success.  i never said that you wouldn't experience set-backs or have to re-define your efforts from time to time, because you will and probably more than once.  You may not always see the results you want or need, but, these set-backs often help you in understanding how to achieve success in a different way.   Don't put results before effort or try and make the result the most important factor.   A business is built upon effort, of not just one person but many and those combined efforts are what achieves results and ultimately success.   

So, to defend an earlier statement I made this week... YES, it is all about the EFFORT and I will stand by it over and over again.  Again, its my humbled opinion and in life, that's one thing we are all entitled to have without parameters. 

Networking - The Old Fashioned Way.

Do you even remember what it is or is it a thing of the past?   Is it still vital in today's business with the focus being so intense on social media these days?  What is the old fashioned way?  Well... from my point of view and after looking it up to get a good definition..it is...

"the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups or establishments specifically the cultivation of productive relationships for business, personal or other group activities."

At one time or another, we have all been in situations where networking was involved.  From the time we were children to teens and into adulthood, networking has been key in the growth of our relationships with others.  In high school or college, we attended school functions, football games, dances, parties... where we engaged or socialized with our peers.   Basically, we were networking and didn't even know it.  

In today's work environment, relationships are essential to the growth of every successful company.   Through-out my careers, it has been stressed over and over, how important relationships are... and not just building them, but maintaining them... nurturing them and honestly, I would not be where I am today without the relationships I have been so fortunate and blessed to have made through-out the last 4 decades.    Thank goodness, I am a "people person".   I absolutely love people and often, I can meet someone for the first time and feel as if I have known them all my life.  

If you were to ask any successful business person, I honestly believe that they will tell you that above all else networking skills are absolutely vital to grow your business. Why?  Networking can increase your market share, help you gain new ideas, provide work and perspectives on life and business. It can expand your brand within a matter of minutes.  Speaking to one person can potentially give you access to over 200 clients and suppliers or more. 

Now, I know that with social media... the expansion of networking is now in the thousands, but I like to think that the old fashioned method is still the most effective.  I am not saying social media isn't important... it is, but for me... I enjoy meeting someone and getting to know them.     

I've been in many conversations with my colleagues and was shocked to discover that there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with networking.  I tried to imagine that... and while at times, it has been overwhelming to walk into a room not knowing someone, I found that all it takes is a warm smile and a friendly hello to strike up that first conversation.  I have always stressed to co-workers and employees... don't wait for someone to approach you... initiate the conversation and even though you may be afraid or uncomfortable, by reaching out first, you have the opportunity to meet people who look interesting to you.   

I found the quote below while researching successful tips on networking and found this statement to be profound.    

           Effective business networking is the linking together of individuals who, through trust and     relationship building, become walking, talking advertisements for one another. 

Isn't this so true?  I mean, seriously, how many times have you been in conversations with someone and they mentioned that they were looking for some particular product or something and if you knew someone, you immediately recommended them or told them you'd make an introduction.  For me... I do it daily.   I have actually become known as someone who can make introductions... and that's not a bad place to be.   For me... I just love seeing the right people get together to create success. 

What else can you do to become effective?   Well... one thing is when you walk into a crowd, don't shrink into a corner.  Be seen.  Smile warmly, greet everyone and try to set yourself apart from the crowd.   Make sure that you dress for success.   There are times to dress up and times to dress down, depending on the occasion, but know that impressions, especially first ones are lasting.  Be positive and confident.  Even if you're feeling shaky on the inside...project a calm and confident manner outwardly.   Once you do this enough, it will be come natural.   

One thing that I have found in my own careers is by being open and assessible and willing to help others, it comes back two fold.  Be approachable and engaging and most of all, be geniune.   These are the things that for me have proven to be successful time after time.   There's a thrill and challenge in every opportunity to network because you never know who you might meet or connect with at any given chance.    I've always found that by just being myself... it usually works out.   When you meet someone new, you don't always have to talk business... small talk can be quite effective in developing a relationship.   Being able to talk to anyone about anything is a valuable commodity in its own way and essential.

Networking is not about selling a company or product. Its about two people who meet and engage in a conversation.    Its about meeting someone and listening to them and showing that you have a geniune interest in them as a person.  By being fully engaged, you are showing the other person that you really do want to get to know them.   You can always provide them with your business card at the end of the conversation and tell them that you'd love to visit with them more.   Its a great way to make sure that you get their information and have a way of following up with them. 

Even though, we are moving forward with technology that provides new ways of linking and reaching other individuals, I would still like to believe that the old fashioned way works best.  Nothing takes the place of being face to face wtih someone and having that acknowledgement that they are actually listening to you.   Having a smile returned or finding someone to talk to that you really find interesting.  

For me... there's simply nothing better than that.  (Well..... okay, maybe the Old Fashioned Cocktail...hmmm... as a very good friend of mine would say - YUMMY!)

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