Every now and then, a project or opportunity comes our way and we feel very passionate about it. We feel connected to it and give it everything and then some. We give it ... HEART AND SOUL. I'm not saying that we don't do every task or job to the best of our ability. I think that most of us definitely want success in every way, but I do believe that there are certain projects for whatever reasons, we are compelled to give it 100% plus another 50%.
I think I've written many times, the power of words is tremendous. The power of two simple ones can make or break someone's attitude and work ethic - thank you. Many times, when you are given a task... if you are shown no appreciation or gratitude for your efforts, well... you get a little skittish in the "over zealous" department of trying to put forth added effort. If the people you're working with constantly criticize any efforts that you make... then, you're apt to back-off. But... then there are those projects when your efforts are praised from start to finish and you give it all you've got. You give it HEART AND SOUL... and at the end of it, not only are you thrilled, but whoever you are working with is thrilled as well.
What is the difference in your work? Is there a difference and is it noticeable? Absolutely, there is a difference. You know it and ultimately those you are working with or for, knows it.
Someone once told me that if you can't believe in what you're doing and grab a hold of it... you'll never be successful at it. I may not have understood that many years ago, but today, that would be one piece of advice that I would offer to anyone. Another would be... that I think you also have to enjoy it. There is nothing more miserable than doing a job or task that you dread. (for me... it's like housework...and that is something I definitely dread!)
I also believe that staying positive, especially in an economy and society, when things aren't always looking rosy, we would all be compelled to find our passion and go about all our tasks with heart and soul. It's not always that easy.. and most of us are just very grateful to even have jobs at the moment, but sometimes... in life, we all have to take a look at the quality and ask ourselves the hard questions - are we truly happy?
Every day, I TRY to wake up with that attitude and try to implement it in whatever I am doing. Some days, I accomplish that and then there are those days, when even after all my futile attempts, I know that I just need to get through it as best I can. Trust me, like you, I have been through some very stressful and trying times over the course of my career, and most recently, life has a way of throwing curve balls when you least expect it. There are days when I really want to pull those covers over my head... and HIDE!
Through my own stress and difficulties, I have realized that we can't always be everything to everybody, just like we can't always have our "signature passion" on every single project that we do, but for those that we are able to connect to and really feel part of... we should take those and put them up like badges. They may be few and far between, but there is no greater joy than doing a job you enjoy and love to do... and being successful at it.
I've often wondered if the founder of facebook, twitter, or even foursquare... if they pursued their projects with heart and soul... and the outcome was multiplied in thousands? What about Bill Gates? Warren Buffet? Steve Jobs? Did they put their heart and soul into their respective projects to gain their successes?
I guess my own theory is that it only takes one project with all your heart and soul to take hold and steer our lives down a path that we never dreamed.
It takes one idea... one heart... and one soul. (Now, that's something to ponder over, isn't it? )
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Be Gold, Not Tin.
What's more precious: a nugget of gold or a wad of tin?
Be gold. Make yourself rare and desirable through hard work and smart self-branding. Soon people will agree that you're priceless.
When I ran across this in an article I was reading, it was vaguely familiar. It pulled at the heartstrings because it wasn't so long ago (okay...not quite a decade ago)... that I questioned my own value. I've never thought about it in the workplace until some years ago... somebody said to me, "everyone can be replaced". "There is nobody who is irreplaceable." These comments not only made me sick to my stomach, they angered me.
For me, this was an impossible concept to have someone say this to me. For those who know me, know that I am passionate about my work. I felt depleted after these remarks. After all, the purpose of becoming good at what you do, is so you have value...value that allows you to have security and stability, so that you can't be easily replaced and that your presence means something to a company. I guess I relate this to a specialist who goes to school and training for years to become an "expert" in their field... if they had no value or were replaceable, then why bother in the first place. Right?
For me, this was an impossible concept to have someone say this to me. For those who know me, know that I am passionate about my work. I felt depleted after these remarks. After all, the purpose of becoming good at what you do, is so you have value...value that allows you to have security and stability, so that you can't be easily replaced and that your presence means something to a company. I guess I relate this to a specialist who goes to school and training for years to become an "expert" in their field... if they had no value or were replaceable, then why bother in the first place. Right?
I've thought about this conversation many times and each time, I find that it irritates me more and more. As a manager, employer or leader - it's our responsibility to empower people to find their value and to hone it. It's also our responsibility to recognize it and reward it.
Do you know what your value is in your company? Often, more times than not, I have been one of these people who really worked hard to do a great job and the reward came when I saw the end result. (at least in my mind... that's what I thought.) I never really thought about the financial aspect of it... until, this comment was made to me. We've all learned lessons along life's job highway. We've all had jobs we loved and probably a few that we didn't. We've all been given opportunities to showcase our talents so that we could shine and for most of us, we are extremely grateful for those opportunities. Isn't the old saying that one opportunity leads to another? In most cases, I am pretty sure that for me, I felt I had to exceed expectations to earn my way. I felt that going above and beyond would help me to climb the ladder and achieve success.
I've learned that there are some who will take advantage of whatever you're willing to give without even acknowledging it. Actually, they grow to expect it or even demand it. (For the record, this is NOT behavior that is acceptable). I learned early in my career to believe in myself, what I could accomplish and to not settle for anything less than what I was worth. If you don't ask, you won't ever know and once you do, if they say no, then it's your choice.
A long time ago... my mentor from my first career... (you all remember him, right)... made the comment that it was harder for women to climb the success ladder and gain the same respect as men. At that time, women really didn't hold executive positions as much, although now, times have changed. My mantra at that time and to this day... is/was... "it's a man's world, i'm just trying to survive in it". I realize now, that he was motivating me to not settle for being second best. It was a challenge to prove my worth and to go for it.
Through the years, I've gained credibility, respect and I've experienced success. I've seen the highs and the lows of getting to this point. I've learned from my mistakes in more ways than one. I've had to accept hard criticisms that weren't always easy to accept. From my view point, I figured out my strengths and my weaknesses and would say to anyone that by knowing these and working on both sides, it helped me more than anything. Its important to write these down and to understand what you need to improve on and work at it. Another factor is to know your job and the responsibilities that come with it and most of all, what is expected of you. Hone your skills and become the very best that you can with all the tools you have to grow. Don't be afraid to leave what you're comfortable with and be more aggressive. Some of the most successful people have told me that if you don't promote yourself, nobody else will either. Stay relevant and keep in touch with your industry.
Another good piece of advice I was given early on was to "not sweat the small stuff". It's so easy to say those words, but a lot harder to follow the advice of them. If you can ever master them, you're on your way.
I have also found along the way, that one of the biggest mistakes that we can make as employers or managers is to not appreciate our employees, to make them feel as if they have no value. Sometimes, it's the small things that will make a difference. Saying "thank you" and truly meaning it... is hard to come by. We should all take note that those two words are quite powerful in the workforce.
Every person of a team plays a role and makes a contribution. Every employee in a company has value regardless of what their job title or pay scale may be. Today, when you talk to someone about their value, it feels inferior, even weird and a lot of times it can be construed as degrading especially for those who have never really thought about their value. From my own personal experiences, I found that knowing my personal worth helped me to elevate my career and find success.
In ending my blog this week, I will leave you with this thought There are few people who really take the time to refine their strengths and take advantage of them to their fullest potential and to know their weaknesses and to work on them. If you don't take the time, as an employee it can leave you undervalued, underemployed and yes, even underpaid. If you realize what your own value is, you will be more satisfied, but you will also be able to show your employer as well. What good boss wants to lose someone of great value?
"People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A company is only as good as the people it keeps. We treat our people like royalty. If you honor and serve the people who work for you, they will honor and serve you." Mary Kay Ash
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Outrage at The Verdict!
America reacts with shock, disgust and anger. How could the judicial system fail this badly? Every news outlet is carrying the same message.
As I sit here tonight, my heart is heavy and I have all of the same emotions. My blog this week was originally going to be on value in the workplace, which i will post later... but I feel compelled to write about my disappointment in the verdict that was rendered earlier. As a mother, I feel such a sense of loss because the real victim in all of this chaos - is the child.
I don't know these people nor do I try to cast judgement, but in this case, I feel an extreme injustice was done. I wasn't convinced that they would convict her of the highest charge, but to allow her to walk completely free... with basically a slap on the wrist for lying and impeding an investigation is a travesty. It's a shame and what bothers me is what message this is going to ring through-out America. I fully believe in innocent until proven guilty, but clearly, something went wrong today.
To watch the defense team pop the corks on champagne after winning this case was completely disgusting. I realize that both sides of attorneys have put in countless of hours, but to have this public display shows complete lack of respect. If they felt the need to celebrate "their win", why couldn't they have done it with a little more dignity and privacy.
I, like many others across the country, have been somewhat intrigued by this entire case from the time the child disappeared 3 years ago to today's verdict. There was so much media coverage on it - you felt drawn to it, even though, these type of incidents probably happen more often than not, and aren't ever publicized. For the last month, I have tuned in to see the trial updates trying to understand what could have possibly happened. Anytime, a child is involved, its like a dagger has been inflicted into the heart - whether you know them or not. It's hard not to have any emotion or to not care.
Through-out the trial, I've discussed my views on this case with several of my friends. Actually, we've had on-going debates about the evidence, the prosecution's approach and of course, the crazy and unbelievable stories that the defense put forth. Everybody had different theories and ideas, but even with the difference in opinions, we all believed she was guilty. Everybody saw that there was no smoking "gun" but felt that the prosecution had enough evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she clearly carries the guilt of the child being gone - especially if you use common sense.
What puzzles me tonight is how these 12 jurors came to the verdict that they did? It was almost if their mind was already made up before they got in the courtroom. The other question I have... is how will they lay down to sleep at night, knowing that they allowed her to go free.
Based on the testimony and the media coverage, a child is missing and the mother does not report it for 31 days, yet, she goes out partying, drinking and never once mentioning the child. She never showed one ounce of grief or sense of loss for her child based on the testimony. The child's remains were found in a swamp. How does this happen? Its something that I simply cannot fathom. If it were an accident, how can you NOT respect your child enough to provide a proper burial? To.. throw them out like they were garbage is the most senseless and cruel thing I've ever heard. How does a jury of 12 NOT connect the dots? How does a jury of 12 NOT use common sense in the evidence presented?
When the verdict was rendered, watching, I was angry. She smiled like a cheshire cat knowing that she had just gotten away with murdering her own child. I posted on Facebook my shock and watched as other comments came in expressing the same anger, shock and just disbelief. After I got home from work... I found that everyone across the nation, was feeling the same emotions. Our judicial system failed today.
I can only pray that she is NOT allowed to make any money off of this - that America will not engage in "paying" her for a story or movie. By "rewarding her monetarily", would be the second travesty that occurs in all of this.
As the mother lays in her jail cell tonight, all I can personally hope is that the nightmares continue to haunt her until she has her real judgement day. One day... she definitely will have it and at that time, there will be justice for the child.
As I sit here tonight, my heart is heavy and I have all of the same emotions. My blog this week was originally going to be on value in the workplace, which i will post later... but I feel compelled to write about my disappointment in the verdict that was rendered earlier. As a mother, I feel such a sense of loss because the real victim in all of this chaos - is the child.
I don't know these people nor do I try to cast judgement, but in this case, I feel an extreme injustice was done. I wasn't convinced that they would convict her of the highest charge, but to allow her to walk completely free... with basically a slap on the wrist for lying and impeding an investigation is a travesty. It's a shame and what bothers me is what message this is going to ring through-out America. I fully believe in innocent until proven guilty, but clearly, something went wrong today.
To watch the defense team pop the corks on champagne after winning this case was completely disgusting. I realize that both sides of attorneys have put in countless of hours, but to have this public display shows complete lack of respect. If they felt the need to celebrate "their win", why couldn't they have done it with a little more dignity and privacy.
I, like many others across the country, have been somewhat intrigued by this entire case from the time the child disappeared 3 years ago to today's verdict. There was so much media coverage on it - you felt drawn to it, even though, these type of incidents probably happen more often than not, and aren't ever publicized. For the last month, I have tuned in to see the trial updates trying to understand what could have possibly happened. Anytime, a child is involved, its like a dagger has been inflicted into the heart - whether you know them or not. It's hard not to have any emotion or to not care.
Through-out the trial, I've discussed my views on this case with several of my friends. Actually, we've had on-going debates about the evidence, the prosecution's approach and of course, the crazy and unbelievable stories that the defense put forth. Everybody had different theories and ideas, but even with the difference in opinions, we all believed she was guilty. Everybody saw that there was no smoking "gun" but felt that the prosecution had enough evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she clearly carries the guilt of the child being gone - especially if you use common sense.
What puzzles me tonight is how these 12 jurors came to the verdict that they did? It was almost if their mind was already made up before they got in the courtroom. The other question I have... is how will they lay down to sleep at night, knowing that they allowed her to go free.
Based on the testimony and the media coverage, a child is missing and the mother does not report it for 31 days, yet, she goes out partying, drinking and never once mentioning the child. She never showed one ounce of grief or sense of loss for her child based on the testimony. The child's remains were found in a swamp. How does this happen? Its something that I simply cannot fathom. If it were an accident, how can you NOT respect your child enough to provide a proper burial? To.. throw them out like they were garbage is the most senseless and cruel thing I've ever heard. How does a jury of 12 NOT connect the dots? How does a jury of 12 NOT use common sense in the evidence presented?
When the verdict was rendered, watching, I was angry. She smiled like a cheshire cat knowing that she had just gotten away with murdering her own child. I posted on Facebook my shock and watched as other comments came in expressing the same anger, shock and just disbelief. After I got home from work... I found that everyone across the nation, was feeling the same emotions. Our judicial system failed today.
I can only pray that she is NOT allowed to make any money off of this - that America will not engage in "paying" her for a story or movie. By "rewarding her monetarily", would be the second travesty that occurs in all of this.
As the mother lays in her jail cell tonight, all I can personally hope is that the nightmares continue to haunt her until she has her real judgement day. One day... she definitely will have it and at that time, there will be justice for the child.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Red, White and Blue - Standing Tall and True!
And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
Happy Birthday, America! Red, White and Blue, standing tall and true! As the dog days of summer begin, it truly is one of my favorite times of year. Mind you, not because of the rising temperatures, either. There is something very moving about a country coming together once a year to celebrate our nation's birth. Celebrations all across America from small towns to big cities will include pagentry, patriotism and fellowship. Firework extravaganza's, parades, political rallies, BBQ's, pool time, watermelon, homemade ice cream and more... family and friends will come together for fun, laughter and gratefulness that we live in the land of the free and home of the brave.
Every time I hear Lee Greenwood's version of God Bless the USA, tears well up in my eyes. The lyrics and the message of this song truly represent what America is all about to me. There are many other songs that are played through-out the day, but for me, this is the one that I feel moved by every single time.
Our forefathers signed the Declaration of Independence in 1776 and John Adams wrote a letter to his wife, Abigail, the day prior, that it would become a day of great pride, respect and celebrated by succeeding generations as a great festival. He declared that it should be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one end of this continent to the other. He had such an insight to know that the cost to the United States to maintain and defend her freedom, her declaration would not come without a cost.
As I think about his thoughts in this letter and how our country has united and come together as a nation, I feel a connection to the past and to our history. Growing up, at one time or another, we all had to memorize part of the preamble.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." Declaration of Independence
There are some things that your history teachers taught you that have stayed with you.
It goes without saying, that you cannot celebrate the fourth of July without thinking about all of the men and women in uniform. It doesn't get more American than that! Those who are sacrificing and serving their country, along with their families, so that we may all enjoy the freedoms and liberties on the homeland. Holidays are especially hard on military families and it always touches me in a deep and profound way when we show respect to those who willingly serve our great country.
One of my fondest memories of this holiday was when I had taken my parents on a trip to Branson some years ago. Both of my parents loved going there and seeing the shows. It always made me feel so good to take them. We were at one of the shows where they were doing a special "fourth" program and they asked all of the military to stand. My dad who was a veteran, having served in the US Airforce... proudly stood with a whole room full of others. They sang a complete tribute -- the Armed Forces medley --- Army, Airforce, Marines, Navy... and tears sprang to my Dad's eyes and to many of those standing. I looked at him and smiled and his only words were... Be Proud. Somehow in that moment, I understood what being an American was all about in a very different and personal way than I ever had before. I looked around at all of these different men and women standing, each with pride in their heart for a country they had served and one that they truly loved. It was probably one of the most patriotic moments I've ever felt.
So, on Monday, I will join my Clampett family and we'll join the rest the nation celebrating America's birthday. We will give it the best pomp and circumstance we have in us and we'll let our fireworks shine brightly... and far in the distance, we'll see even bigger ones and know that our neighbors are standing just as tall and showing their red, white and blue too.
Have a blessed and safe holiday!
From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.
That I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
where at least I know I'm free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Remembering my Dad!
All through the year, we have holidays and special days that mean something to all of us. We all celebrate them in different ways and we all have different ones that we celebrate. This week-end, across the nation, many families will be celebrating Father's Day on Sunday. Father's Day, along with Mother's Day, is a day for children to show their parents extra love. It's a day of celebration, honor and even memory.
For me...my dad is no longer with us, so Father's Day is now about remembering and celebrating his spirit and memory.
As many of you know, I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other. Its still raw and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and miss them both. It will be 2 years in July since my dad's passing. I know in my heart he is in a better place and that he's watching over me. It still doesn't make it any easier and even though time has helped with some of the grief, there are still moments when it hits... and the floodgates open.
It's uncontrollable and yet, somehow, comforting at the same time.
I don't ever want to forget what my Dad looked like or forget any of the memories that I hold near and dear in my heart. He was a very gentle, kind and simple man. He worked hard and he provided for his family. He loved sports and during his high school and college years, he was quite good. He loved the Rebels and even though we may have had a losing season in every sport, he was loyal. He loved to garden and his thumb was green. Every summer, the bigger he could make his garden, the better he loved it. He loved to ride the backroads and just enjoy nature. He was a hunter and an avid fisherman. He was also a very quiet man... which is so unlike my mother or even me. He hardly ever raised his voice, but when he did, you knew it was important.
Once you have lost a parent, it's like you've lost part of you. You feel unbalanced. Losing both, you feel like you're alone as far as wisdom, advice and just knowing you always have somewhere to go if you needed. (That's how I feel anyway...).
Since his passing, I've thought a lot about him. I've realized what I cherished the most and it was the quiet moments we spent watching the Rebels, the time out in his backyard watching the hummingbirds, the many memories of him in the garden making sure that every plant got adequate attention, the gentle laugh when he was telling a story, his love for boiled peanuts... and the list goes on and on. I've looked back on my childhood and even in adult life and know that I was one of the lucky ones.
For 45 years, I was incredibly blessed. I don't know that Father's Day or any other holiday will get any easier, but I do know that I won't ever forget and that his memory and spirit are still in my heart each and every day. Life is a precious and fragile gift. If you still have your father... spend Sunday with him and make a memory. Life, after all, is about memories.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. I know you're the brightest star in heaven shining down on me each and every day!
 |
| My Daddy and Me |
As many of you know, I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other. Its still raw and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and miss them both. It will be 2 years in July since my dad's passing. I know in my heart he is in a better place and that he's watching over me. It still doesn't make it any easier and even though time has helped with some of the grief, there are still moments when it hits... and the floodgates open.
It's uncontrollable and yet, somehow, comforting at the same time.
I don't ever want to forget what my Dad looked like or forget any of the memories that I hold near and dear in my heart. He was a very gentle, kind and simple man. He worked hard and he provided for his family. He loved sports and during his high school and college years, he was quite good. He loved the Rebels and even though we may have had a losing season in every sport, he was loyal. He loved to garden and his thumb was green. Every summer, the bigger he could make his garden, the better he loved it. He loved to ride the backroads and just enjoy nature. He was a hunter and an avid fisherman. He was also a very quiet man... which is so unlike my mother or even me. He hardly ever raised his voice, but when he did, you knew it was important.
Once you have lost a parent, it's like you've lost part of you. You feel unbalanced. Losing both, you feel like you're alone as far as wisdom, advice and just knowing you always have somewhere to go if you needed. (That's how I feel anyway...).
Since his passing, I've thought a lot about him. I've realized what I cherished the most and it was the quiet moments we spent watching the Rebels, the time out in his backyard watching the hummingbirds, the many memories of him in the garden making sure that every plant got adequate attention, the gentle laugh when he was telling a story, his love for boiled peanuts... and the list goes on and on. I've looked back on my childhood and even in adult life and know that I was one of the lucky ones.
For 45 years, I was incredibly blessed. I don't know that Father's Day or any other holiday will get any easier, but I do know that I won't ever forget and that his memory and spirit are still in my heart each and every day. Life is a precious and fragile gift. If you still have your father... spend Sunday with him and make a memory. Life, after all, is about memories.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. I know you're the brightest star in heaven shining down on me each and every day!
Monday, June 6, 2011
When the Trust is Broken...
Trust. A key element in all relationships - both professional and personal. Trust is an emotional act where you allow others to see your vulnerable side with belief that they will not take advantage of you. Trust is a logical act as well, where you have certain expectations and have faith that those expectations will be returned. Trust will either make or break a relationship.
Trust doesn't happen overnight. There's no magic potion that you drink or sprinkle and it's there. Trust grows day after day and there's no set number of days when it will happen. Through friendship, love, attention, respect and effort - trust is earned. Its a level of comfort and companionship that you have reached with another person. Once you have it with another individual - you know it and most of all, they know it. There are varying levels of trust and past experiences can hinder your ability and willingness to trust, but if you are one of the lucky few, it can change your life both in a personal and professional way.
For me, the best feeling in the world is when someone says to me - I trust you completely. Its a responsibility and one that I take very seriously, both in business and in my personal life. Trust is something that I hold very dear to my heart and I try to put forth 150% effort into every relationship that I value. I work on a daily basis to earn and keep the trust that I have been given. I feel it is a precious and fragile gift from another person.
In life, we've all had people come and go who have enhanced and changed our lives for good, bad or ugly. We've all had people who have earned our trust and we gave it willingly back to them. What happens when the trust is broken? From my own experience, I know that in both business and personal relationships - breaking of trust totally taints our image of every action, word and intent - to the point where we feel we can no longer be in a relationship the same way or do business the same way. Can we? How do you regain and rebuild trust once it's broken? Is it possible?
I am by no means an expert in psychology or human emotions. I am actually not an expert in anything. I work hard and share my passion with those I meet, but I am definitely not an expert. I am a small town Mississippi girl who writes from the heart and from personal experiences. I've spent the past 25 years honing my craft and trying to find my way in the world. I've had some successes and I have had my fair share of failures. Through it all, I know that my greatest asset is my relationships.
From my own experiences, communication is the most important step. Honestly also plays a huge role in the rebuilding process. Compassion, empathy and understanding play yet another. In every relationship, there are two individuals who willingly committed to it and those same two individuals have to be just as committed to get it back. It won't be an easy process, but with complete effort, it can be regained. (Afterall, wasn't there a reason you trusted this person in the first place? Aren't we all allowed a mis-step?) I believe this to a certain degree and know that I have given friends and colleagues second and third chances...and have not lived to regret it.
What do you do if the trust is broken over and over again? Obviously, its time to re-evaluate whether or not the relationship was ever genuine in the first place. I do know and truly believe that all of our failures and set-backs help us to become stronger and better. They serve as reminders of what's important and what it takes to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life. I also know that rebuilding of trust in both a business and personal sense takes being open minded enough to allow yourself to forgive.
Many times, when the trust is broken, people take the approach of doing nothing. They just sit and wait to see what the other person is going to do. For me, this does nothing to help, AND only makes the situation worse. I strongly believe that whatever you want in life, you must be willing to put forth the effort into getting it. You must be open, willing and committed to getting back what you lost. We aren't all psychics and can't read minds, so again, communication is absolutely essential to re-connecting.
Most of all, when the trust is broken, take responsibility. In business or in life, we all want to know that the other person is willing to stand up and say that they were wrong and truly mean it. Be willing to tell the other person what is going to be different this time and know that you are going to have to work hard and put forth much more effort to get the trust back.
Trust is THE foundation of any great relationship in business and with our family and friends. I once read, that without trust, a relationship is like a car on blocks. It isn’t going anywhere… and after a while, it will rust and deteriorate. When the trust is broken, YOU hold the keys.
Trust doesn't happen overnight. There's no magic potion that you drink or sprinkle and it's there. Trust grows day after day and there's no set number of days when it will happen. Through friendship, love, attention, respect and effort - trust is earned. Its a level of comfort and companionship that you have reached with another person. Once you have it with another individual - you know it and most of all, they know it. There are varying levels of trust and past experiences can hinder your ability and willingness to trust, but if you are one of the lucky few, it can change your life both in a personal and professional way.
For me, the best feeling in the world is when someone says to me - I trust you completely. Its a responsibility and one that I take very seriously, both in business and in my personal life. Trust is something that I hold very dear to my heart and I try to put forth 150% effort into every relationship that I value. I work on a daily basis to earn and keep the trust that I have been given. I feel it is a precious and fragile gift from another person.
In life, we've all had people come and go who have enhanced and changed our lives for good, bad or ugly. We've all had people who have earned our trust and we gave it willingly back to them. What happens when the trust is broken? From my own experience, I know that in both business and personal relationships - breaking of trust totally taints our image of every action, word and intent - to the point where we feel we can no longer be in a relationship the same way or do business the same way. Can we? How do you regain and rebuild trust once it's broken? Is it possible?
I am by no means an expert in psychology or human emotions. I am actually not an expert in anything. I work hard and share my passion with those I meet, but I am definitely not an expert. I am a small town Mississippi girl who writes from the heart and from personal experiences. I've spent the past 25 years honing my craft and trying to find my way in the world. I've had some successes and I have had my fair share of failures. Through it all, I know that my greatest asset is my relationships.
From my own experiences, communication is the most important step. Honestly also plays a huge role in the rebuilding process. Compassion, empathy and understanding play yet another. In every relationship, there are two individuals who willingly committed to it and those same two individuals have to be just as committed to get it back. It won't be an easy process, but with complete effort, it can be regained. (Afterall, wasn't there a reason you trusted this person in the first place? Aren't we all allowed a mis-step?) I believe this to a certain degree and know that I have given friends and colleagues second and third chances...and have not lived to regret it.
What do you do if the trust is broken over and over again? Obviously, its time to re-evaluate whether or not the relationship was ever genuine in the first place. I do know and truly believe that all of our failures and set-backs help us to become stronger and better. They serve as reminders of what's important and what it takes to enjoy a happy and fulfilled life. I also know that rebuilding of trust in both a business and personal sense takes being open minded enough to allow yourself to forgive.
Many times, when the trust is broken, people take the approach of doing nothing. They just sit and wait to see what the other person is going to do. For me, this does nothing to help, AND only makes the situation worse. I strongly believe that whatever you want in life, you must be willing to put forth the effort into getting it. You must be open, willing and committed to getting back what you lost. We aren't all psychics and can't read minds, so again, communication is absolutely essential to re-connecting.
Most of all, when the trust is broken, take responsibility. In business or in life, we all want to know that the other person is willing to stand up and say that they were wrong and truly mean it. Be willing to tell the other person what is going to be different this time and know that you are going to have to work hard and put forth much more effort to get the trust back.
Trust is THE foundation of any great relationship in business and with our family and friends. I once read, that without trust, a relationship is like a car on blocks. It isn’t going anywhere… and after a while, it will rust and deteriorate. When the trust is broken, YOU hold the keys.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Woe... the Weary Traveler
Becoming a road warrior over the last decade has prepared me for just about anything. I have learned how to pack only the essentials in a carry on.. and live with whatever I forgot to pack. I've learned that those "wrinkle free" clothes are the best invention known to woman! Nothing... could have prepared me for my 3 week European journey! Not necessarily from a packing stand-point, because I WAY over-packed, but just at how simple life is across the pond. Now, a lot of you have asked me to blog about my trip... so let me forewarn you... this blog is a little long! Don't give out while reading!
You've heard of National Lampoon's? Well, they have nothing on a Clampett traveling abroad. So...after a 3 hour delay in Atlanta (that's reality for you), up and away! First stop... Barcelona, Spain. Did I mention how long the flight was and the fact that it was over the Atlantic? Yikes! Needless to say, I was glad that it was an overnight flight and that those sleep aids... really do help! When I awoke... hello, Barcelona! Our hotel was a lovely little boutique in the heart and soul of the city... on the busiest street... in the middle of all the action... and the noisiest! From the fresh market, to the city tour on a double decker bus, to the marina, to the flamenco dancers who slapped me in the face with their dress and perspired all over me.. there was so much to see and do. Las Ramblas was the heart of the city center and it did not disappoint. I love to people watch... and sitting out in the plaza as I liked to call it while there, having the local drink of choice - sangria - you could find all the people you wanted! Beautiful cathedrals, the olympic village and of course, Spain's Futbol phenomenon! There was only one thing I disliked about being here... they never go to bed! From 9 pm til 6 am (not just one night, but every night)! They were drinking their espressos, wine, sangria... and shouting and having a celebration. I guess they didn't get the memo that there was a jet lagged party from the US trying to sleep in that cozy little boutique hotel!
France and Monaco.. had to be much quieter! Upon arrival, I am not sure what I was expecting, but I was mesmerized. The glitz and glamour, the language of love, the food and wine... the hospitality. I fell in love immediately. A small town Mississippi girl in the South of France... talk about a fish out of water, or was I? Nice, Cannes and Monaco - home to all the beautiful people. And.. honestly, they were beautiful. Sitting at lunch by the Casino in Monte Carlo.. I realized that moments like this are to be cherished because not everyone has the chance to experience it. So, I sipped a little more slowly savoring every flavor of the delicate french wine and I enjoyed the lunch at a much slower pace. As over the top as I was over this portion of the trip... the best was yet to come. The real gem, in my own personal opinion, of the Cote d' Azur is a quaint village, called Eze. The history and beauty... the warmth. Perched on a rock, way above the sea level, the village is located on the ruins of a 12th century castle. Wandering the cobblestone paths while climbing upward to the top are boutiques, restaurants and captivating views. The bougainvillea in full bloom embracing the village all the way down to the beautiful waters of the Mediterranean... it was simply breath-taking. Sitting at the very top... was one of the most beautiful hotels, I've ever seen - Chateau de la Chevre d'Or. There are no words to adequately express the beauty, the serenity... the peacefulness. There was only a connection of me and the French at that particular moment. One that will forever be within my heart.
Now, as you can imagine... I did not want to leave France, but with all good things, they come to an end eventually. Next on the list... Italy! Would I really see the statue of David? Does the tower really lean? How would I feel on the Spanish Steps? Were there really live tigers and lions in the bottom of the Colosseum? Would I be in awe of the Sistine Chapel and feel such a reverence that my life would be forever changed. Is it possible, that I might actually be blessed by the Pope, himself. How would I feel driving down the Amalfi Coast with the wind in my hair? Did a volcano really create Pompeii? With anticipation growing and all these mind boggling questions... we were off and running! Florence, Pisa, Rome, Naples, Sorrento, Pompeii, Postino... ahh, the Amalfi Coast. My first impression of Italy is that with all of its artistic beauty and history, they need to clean it up. Even though, I felt this way, I was awed by the architecture and the art. I was inspired by the stories told in the paintings and murals. I was drawn to the history. I took the crazy photo holding up the leaning tower and felt like a complete idiot doing it. (My only save was that everyone else was doing it too!) I relived the days of the gladiators and felt connected to the Roman empire in a way that actually had me daydreaming. My biggest disappointment came when I entered the Sistine Chapel. Not from the art... it was magnificent. Michelangelo's masterpiece was truly vivid and alive! We were told ahead of time, no cameras and no talking. What I got when we were actually inside was a crowd of people with no room to move, loud talking, cameras flashing... and for me ... the moment was lost. After walking through St. Peters Basilica, I found myself feeling more at peace. I still hadn't seen or been touched by the Pope... but there's always another day.
Driving the Amalfi Coast, exploring the ruins of Pompeii and finding the quaint village of Postino was one of the true highlights of my whirlwind in Italy. I loved everything about it... and the limoncello is very good! Chilled to perfection and served in small ceramic bottles... YUMMY! Needless to say, after my visit in Italy, I had to buy one of those leather overnight bags to carry all of my treasures!
Greece, by far, was my absolute favorite destination and I will go back again and again. Athens, Santorini... both for me were truly the best days of my whole journey. In Athens, I was overwhelmed by The Acropolis. Standing on that high cliff... looking at The Parthenon (yes, the 8th wonder of the world) there is such a sense... of surrealism and complete awe. I cannot explain any emotion that I felt... other than in that moment, I knew that I had experienced something very special. After having lunch at a lovely Greek restaurant with a view of this historical place... I knew at that moment... I could be Greek. Lunch was in itself, an event. Wine.. glass after glass. From appetizer, to salad, to soup, to entree to dessert... it was spectacular, not to mention, probably one of the best meals I've ever eaten. Lamb slow simmered with grape leaves? Really? Are you kidding?
Santorini... I don't know what I had envisioned... but, what I got was far better. Sitting high on top of a cliff overlooking the deep blue Aegean sea... were a number of villages that made up this unique and wonderful place in the Cyclades. After being told that there were 5 islands and they were made from a volcano (the caldera) and it was active and located... ummmm... right there...in the middle... I was a bit nervous, but... the beauty and warmth of this wonderful place sucked me in. Completely. The white cycladic buildings with blue domes... an artist's dream! Even as I look at my photos now... they don't seem real. Like a painting. Wow!
Now... there's only 3 ways to get to the top... walk, via donkey or cablecar. I will just let you decide on how you think I got up there and down!
We did a wine tasting in Santorini and I was definitely in my element. I loved learning how they grow their grapes, seeing all their varietals and tasting the simplicity and elegance. Truly one of the hidden gems in the wine industry... that will soon be discovered by leaps and bounds.
Once you're to the top... the villages are all unique and different in their own way and its a shopper's paradise. Did I mention that I had to buy... yet another bag?
So... after learning that I could purchase the house next to Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie for only... 200,000 euros... I definitely think, I could be Greek!
Now... Turkey was the other stop... and honestly, it was beautiful, but with all of the events of the world, it was the one location that made me the most nervous... so, instead of venturing out, our group just enjoyed the marketplace, a few carpet purchases and the scenery.
Woe is the weary traveler...life on the road is a wonderful and exciting journey. Memories of places that last a lifetime... and moments when you realize how very lucky you are in this life to experience them at least once.
I definitely would go back... but next time... I will do as the locals... sleep late, have lunch from12 to 4, siesta til 8, dinner from 8 til midnight... siesta again.... and by then... start all over. Oh wait... didn't I do that, this time? My favorite saying the whole trip..... aaaaaarrrrrrivvvaaaderchi!
You've heard of National Lampoon's? Well, they have nothing on a Clampett traveling abroad. So...after a 3 hour delay in Atlanta (that's reality for you), up and away! First stop... Barcelona, Spain. Did I mention how long the flight was and the fact that it was over the Atlantic? Yikes! Needless to say, I was glad that it was an overnight flight and that those sleep aids... really do help! When I awoke... hello, Barcelona! Our hotel was a lovely little boutique in the heart and soul of the city... on the busiest street... in the middle of all the action... and the noisiest! From the fresh market, to the city tour on a double decker bus, to the marina, to the flamenco dancers who slapped me in the face with their dress and perspired all over me.. there was so much to see and do. Las Ramblas was the heart of the city center and it did not disappoint. I love to people watch... and sitting out in the plaza as I liked to call it while there, having the local drink of choice - sangria - you could find all the people you wanted! Beautiful cathedrals, the olympic village and of course, Spain's Futbol phenomenon! There was only one thing I disliked about being here... they never go to bed! From 9 pm til 6 am (not just one night, but every night)! They were drinking their espressos, wine, sangria... and shouting and having a celebration. I guess they didn't get the memo that there was a jet lagged party from the US trying to sleep in that cozy little boutique hotel!
France and Monaco.. had to be much quieter! Upon arrival, I am not sure what I was expecting, but I was mesmerized. The glitz and glamour, the language of love, the food and wine... the hospitality. I fell in love immediately. A small town Mississippi girl in the South of France... talk about a fish out of water, or was I? Nice, Cannes and Monaco - home to all the beautiful people. And.. honestly, they were beautiful. Sitting at lunch by the Casino in Monte Carlo.. I realized that moments like this are to be cherished because not everyone has the chance to experience it. So, I sipped a little more slowly savoring every flavor of the delicate french wine and I enjoyed the lunch at a much slower pace. As over the top as I was over this portion of the trip... the best was yet to come. The real gem, in my own personal opinion, of the Cote d' Azur is a quaint village, called Eze. The history and beauty... the warmth. Perched on a rock, way above the sea level, the village is located on the ruins of a 12th century castle. Wandering the cobblestone paths while climbing upward to the top are boutiques, restaurants and captivating views. The bougainvillea in full bloom embracing the village all the way down to the beautiful waters of the Mediterranean... it was simply breath-taking. Sitting at the very top... was one of the most beautiful hotels, I've ever seen - Chateau de la Chevre d'Or. There are no words to adequately express the beauty, the serenity... the peacefulness. There was only a connection of me and the French at that particular moment. One that will forever be within my heart.
Now, as you can imagine... I did not want to leave France, but with all good things, they come to an end eventually. Next on the list... Italy! Would I really see the statue of David? Does the tower really lean? How would I feel on the Spanish Steps? Were there really live tigers and lions in the bottom of the Colosseum? Would I be in awe of the Sistine Chapel and feel such a reverence that my life would be forever changed. Is it possible, that I might actually be blessed by the Pope, himself. How would I feel driving down the Amalfi Coast with the wind in my hair? Did a volcano really create Pompeii? With anticipation growing and all these mind boggling questions... we were off and running! Florence, Pisa, Rome, Naples, Sorrento, Pompeii, Postino... ahh, the Amalfi Coast. My first impression of Italy is that with all of its artistic beauty and history, they need to clean it up. Even though, I felt this way, I was awed by the architecture and the art. I was inspired by the stories told in the paintings and murals. I was drawn to the history. I took the crazy photo holding up the leaning tower and felt like a complete idiot doing it. (My only save was that everyone else was doing it too!) I relived the days of the gladiators and felt connected to the Roman empire in a way that actually had me daydreaming. My biggest disappointment came when I entered the Sistine Chapel. Not from the art... it was magnificent. Michelangelo's masterpiece was truly vivid and alive! We were told ahead of time, no cameras and no talking. What I got when we were actually inside was a crowd of people with no room to move, loud talking, cameras flashing... and for me ... the moment was lost. After walking through St. Peters Basilica, I found myself feeling more at peace. I still hadn't seen or been touched by the Pope... but there's always another day.
Driving the Amalfi Coast, exploring the ruins of Pompeii and finding the quaint village of Postino was one of the true highlights of my whirlwind in Italy. I loved everything about it... and the limoncello is very good! Chilled to perfection and served in small ceramic bottles... YUMMY! Needless to say, after my visit in Italy, I had to buy one of those leather overnight bags to carry all of my treasures!
Greece, by far, was my absolute favorite destination and I will go back again and again. Athens, Santorini... both for me were truly the best days of my whole journey. In Athens, I was overwhelmed by The Acropolis. Standing on that high cliff... looking at The Parthenon (yes, the 8th wonder of the world) there is such a sense... of surrealism and complete awe. I cannot explain any emotion that I felt... other than in that moment, I knew that I had experienced something very special. After having lunch at a lovely Greek restaurant with a view of this historical place... I knew at that moment... I could be Greek. Lunch was in itself, an event. Wine.. glass after glass. From appetizer, to salad, to soup, to entree to dessert... it was spectacular, not to mention, probably one of the best meals I've ever eaten. Lamb slow simmered with grape leaves? Really? Are you kidding?
Santorini... I don't know what I had envisioned... but, what I got was far better. Sitting high on top of a cliff overlooking the deep blue Aegean sea... were a number of villages that made up this unique and wonderful place in the Cyclades. After being told that there were 5 islands and they were made from a volcano (the caldera) and it was active and located... ummmm... right there...in the middle... I was a bit nervous, but... the beauty and warmth of this wonderful place sucked me in. Completely. The white cycladic buildings with blue domes... an artist's dream! Even as I look at my photos now... they don't seem real. Like a painting. Wow!
Now... there's only 3 ways to get to the top... walk, via donkey or cablecar. I will just let you decide on how you think I got up there and down!
We did a wine tasting in Santorini and I was definitely in my element. I loved learning how they grow their grapes, seeing all their varietals and tasting the simplicity and elegance. Truly one of the hidden gems in the wine industry... that will soon be discovered by leaps and bounds.
Once you're to the top... the villages are all unique and different in their own way and its a shopper's paradise. Did I mention that I had to buy... yet another bag?
So... after learning that I could purchase the house next to Brad Pitt and Angeline Jolie for only... 200,000 euros... I definitely think, I could be Greek!
Now... Turkey was the other stop... and honestly, it was beautiful, but with all of the events of the world, it was the one location that made me the most nervous... so, instead of venturing out, our group just enjoyed the marketplace, a few carpet purchases and the scenery.
Woe is the weary traveler...life on the road is a wonderful and exciting journey. Memories of places that last a lifetime... and moments when you realize how very lucky you are in this life to experience them at least once.
I definitely would go back... but next time... I will do as the locals... sleep late, have lunch from12 to 4, siesta til 8, dinner from 8 til midnight... siesta again.... and by then... start all over. Oh wait... didn't I do that, this time? My favorite saying the whole trip..... aaaaaarrrrrrivvvaaaderchi!
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