Dance With the One Who Brung Ya....

Dance with the One Who Brung Ya is a phrase that is very close to my heart, as well as something that I learned very early in life and my career.  It's a message that has served me well through-out the last 27 years and one I'm not likely to forget.   

So... what does it mean?   There's several versions of the quote itself, but the meaning and gist of it is the same in all accounts which boils down to one thing - LOYALTY and a meaning of don't ever forget those who helped you, believed in you , stood beside you and were there for you when nobody else seemed to be.  

We all seek success in different ways and for most of us, we are barreling down many roads before we find the one that leads us where we eventually want to go.  Somewhere along the way, we all had someone or several someone's who brought us to the party, so to speak.   They were the person or person(s) who inspired us; taught us; introduced us to colleagues and friends; included us in their own lives and networking; shared their failures and successes; they motivated us; advised us in ways that we didn't always like; listened to our challenges, ideas and offered a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on; they provided us with support; gave us an honest answer; and most of all they believed in our potential and ability to become successful in our own right.   

Through-out my own career, there have been many people who have helped to shape, mold, support, encourage and be there when the failures came as well as the successes.   In my first "real" career, as a pharmaceutical sales representative for a generic and brand wholesaler, my boss and mentor, used this saying often and meant it.   "Dance with the One Who Brung Ya... because loyalty and relationships are the keys to success."  He drilled it home every opportunity and as I've often said in many of these blogs, I owe him a great deal because he taught me in a way that allowed me to reach my full potential and I have never forgotten who brought me to the party.  He wasn't the easiest boss to work for,  trust me, we disagreed on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was a teacher and he truly wanted his team to succeed.  He knew that if they succeeded, he would succeed.  It's a lesson that I am forever grateful and often reminded of daily.  Through the years we became friends and to this day, when he offers advice, I listen.  

I'm so blessed and fortunate to have established and maintained so many relationships in not one career but two.   I have not forgotten who helped me along the way in both starting with the mentioned former boss in the earlier paragraph to the countless of friends and colleagues who picked me up when I was down, encouraged me, motivated me and most of all believed in me.   Those individuals will always have a very special place in my heart.   The words "thank you" just don't seem adequate at times, but I've always tried to nurture and take care of my relationships because they are fragile and valuable.   

As I've become a manager and even as a friend, I've tried to always keep this phrase close to my heart... but there have been times when I've found myself in situations where I've been on the other side of the coin... and felt that those that I supported, motivated, listened to, helped, encouraged, stood beside and believed in..... forgot and somewhere along the way... left me behind.   Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe my own feelings just got hurt because the time they once had for me, no longer was available or made available......I'm not sure what happened along the way or why things changed.   I just know that from my perspective it seems that as they've grown and found success...  I don't seem as important in their lives anymore.    Time is a valuable gift and when we share it with those we trust, love, respect and care about it allows our relationships to continue to grow.   

It's amazing... in the beginning,  the time, resources and care that we all take when investing in a new relationship, whether business or personal.   Once we are in the relationship and its firmly established, we should make sure that we are not forgetting what got us the relationship in the first place.  

Often, when we get busy and time or care isn't given the same as it once was...and as more success happens,  the relationship begins to crumble IF we don't stop and make time to get back on the right road.   We should all take a good look at the relationships in our lives and ensure that we are treating others as we want to be treated with loyalty, integrity and respect.   We should never forget those who brought us to the dance and most of all... we should never be too busy for them.  What would have happened if they had been too busy for us when we needed them?  What would have happened if they had never helped us?   

To this day... I'm still dancing with the one and others who brung me!  Are YOU?  

Without a Mask... You're Gonna Make it After All!

Who am I today?  What mask will I wear?   

 As you read those two questions, you're probably wondering... what mask?   I know who I am.   Well... are you sure that you're the same person day in and day out?  Are there ever days when you find that it's just easier to pretend you're somebody else or maybe not to that extreme, but do you find yourself being in a good mood for the sake of others, when on the inside, you're a train wreck?   Do you find yourself smiling to hide the frown?  Or... are you someone who... regardless of how you feel, you let the world see and know your every mood?   I haven't found many people who willingly shared all of their problems and turmoil with those around them.  Instead... just the opposite.  

Every day, we are different people at various times of day.  We are parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, boss, employee, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, daughter, son, volunteer, caretaker.... and the list goes on and on.   Every day in each of these roles, we have different behaviors.   I guess sometimes it's hard to determine the mask from just changing your roles.... but if you look closely, you'll know when you have on a mask and when you are merely changing your role from mom to friend.  

This past week... I've thought quite a bit about the mask or in many cases, masks... that we all wear at some point in our daily lives.  There are some people who in their jobs, have an elaborate mask that really changes who they are .. into the person they feel they need to be or maybe it's the person that they want to be.     Now, before you pretend to not know what I am referring to about putting on a mask, hear me out.   Every day, we all try to be something to somebody.   Every day, we adapt our personalities to those that we encounter.  Every day, whether at home or at work, we all go through the process of putting on the mask.  Most of the time... you probably don't even realize you're doing it.   I'm sure many as you are reading this, you're saying... no way... I'm the same person every day, inside/outside and to all who know me.   The mask isn't intended to change the wholesomeness of your heart or who you are in any way.  It's not intended to be fake or false,  or even misrepresenting.   In a way, I think of the mask as one that an athlete might wear when playing a sport.  It's there for protection and safety when we are at our most vulnerable.

 Do we do this so that those closest to us won't see the real person?  Do we do it to try and make others happy?    Do we do it to protect the deepest part of us that we may not want others to gain a closer glimpse?  Do we find that it's easier to pretend to be in a good mood than share our bad mood with our co-workers?   Do we find that somewhere down inside, we'd like to be somebody else even if it's only for a short period of time?    I am sure that its one of these, several of these or all of these.

For me, I know that I have on occasions in the past, donned several masks over the course of my careers and even in my personal life. I guess the most significant time was during the illness of my parents and the period following their passing.  It was a very hard time for me... and the grief was overwhelming.  I just didn't feel comfortable sharing that with every person because in my own way, I was struggling and still struggle to this day, with the loss.  Not only did I have a mask for my business colleagues to hide this grief, but one for my family and friends.  I guess I just didn't want them to see how bad I was hurting inside.    This doesn't mean that people don't and didn't  get the real me.  They did, but I think at times, it was just easier to put on a mask of "I'm doing okay" rather than go into detail the struggle of just getting out of bed.

In my first career, young and hungry and quite ambitious, I know that I wore a mask in dealing with clients because I was "green" and I did not want to appear that way.  I wanted to be seen as confident, successful and knowledgeable.  As I grew into my role and job, I realized that the success of the job wasn't the masks or the skills, it was the relationships and as I allowed the mask to come off and the relationships became real, my success went through the roof.  I found that by simply being myself that I opened myself up to so many rewarding relationships that are still in place today.

Again, I think that at times, we don't even realize we put the mask on.  I think that when we do it,  it just means that we don't always want to place our problems or burdens upon other people.   It means that if we're going through a tough time, we may not want to share it or feel comfortable enough to share it.   It means that if we're dealing with something very close to our heart or we've been hurt, we may not want the outside world to see.  It means that if we wake up and feel yucky, sometimes, we pretend to feel better than we do so that others won't be brought down.   Yes... We all have done this and we've all put on a mask or two at some point.  We all have our own ways of getting through life's stress, hurts and pains.

Sometimes the mask...helps us to cope with things that we've tried to hide and maybe not for a good reason.    I've thought about the thousands of women and men,  for that matter,  who deal with domestic abuse, verbal abuse or any kind of abuse... and the masks of courage and bravery that most of them wear before finally feeling like they can face the truth and the world.   Again, is it for protection and safety?   I'd like to think that the mask whether its on in times of trouble, everyday life or to protect your heart, is there to use when you feel you need it.   It's your decision whether you will allow anyone into your life mask off.

What happens if we all take off all the masks?   Our lives aren't always picture perfect.   Our lives aren't always pretty and put together.  We aren't always the person that people have a perception of who we are inside.  I guess the reality is, the reason that most of us have the mask in the first place, is somewhere along the way, we've experience hurt, disappointment, loss or rejection.  The mask again... allows us safety and protection of our hearts.  

 As we all deal with trials, tribulations and even triumphs, we find certain people that we want to see us with the mask off in every situation and gradually, we get to the point where with them... we never even pick it up.    Isn't it amazing how somebody comes into your life and you feel such a connection that your vulnerability and guard let down.  It amounts to love and trust and all good things that come with it.  Many times in our lives, we feel this with more than one person... maybe it's our significant other, our best friend, our children, our parents.... I'd like to think that we are all very capable of allowing more than one person see us as we truly feel day in and day out.  

As I've grown older, hopefully much wiser from life's lessons, failures and successes,  through the years, I found the need for the mask to not be as important as it once did in my life.  I, now, realize that by wearing the masks, I didn't open myself up to fully allow others to see the struggles that I went through, both career wise and personally,  and that I was missing out on something vitally important.  Support and encouragement.  Once all your facades are gone and you really get to know somebody, you open yourself up to love and trust in ways that you never have before in relationships. In business, you open yourself up for a relationship that allows you to also become friends and have an open dialogue of honesty and trust.

For me, I know that as I have gotten to know people and really engaged with them, my relationships thrived and became more meaningful and fruitful.   It's okay... to let others know you're hurting or sad, angry or whatever you may be going through.   If they are truly your friend or love you, they'll be the first to help you through it and you never know what piece of advice they may offer that might just help you through.   In business, you don't have to dump every single personal thing on our business colleagues, but we can open ourselves up so that they are not just colleagues, they are our friends as well.

In ending this blog, I'm reminded of the smile that comes on my face every single time I hear the theme song to the Mary Tyler Moore Show... somehow... it always reminds me that the need for a mask is long gone.  

Who can turn the world on with her smile? 

Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? 

Well it's you girl, and you should know it 

With each glance and every little movement you show it 

Love is all around, no need to waste it 

You can have a town, why don't you take it 

You're gonna make it after all 

You're gonna make it after all 

How will you make it on your own? 

This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone 

But it's time you started living 

It's time you let someone else do some giving 

Love is all around, no need to waste it 

You can have a town, why don't you take it 

You're gonna make it after all 

You're gonna make it after all

Thankful and So Much More....

It's hard to believe that we are almost to the end of November.  The days are shorter with darkness showing up at 5 pm and the nights have turned crisp and cool.   The leaves have all changed to vivid colors of orange, red and yellow that cast a beauty that seems surreal at times.  I am so fortunate to live in an area where you can truly appreciate the season and it is my favorite, for there is nothing quite like the turning of the leaves.   The last couple of months have been busy... and now,  it's hard to believe that another year is almost done.  

Anyone that knows me... knows that I love the holidays.  All of them.   Any occasion to be festive, creative and be with my crazy Clampett family. This week, we'll celebrate America's holiday.... Thanksgiving.  We've been celebrating it officially since 1863 when President Lincoln proclaimed that a national day of Thanksgiving be held the fourth Thursday of every November, although we know that many "thanksgivings" were held prior to that date.   We all refer to the very first Thanksgiving as the one held in 1621 by the pilgrims and their Native American allies where they were giving thanks to God for guiding them to the new world and providing a bountiful harvest.  They held a celebratory feast that lasted 3 days.

Nowadays... the entire month of November,  we are reminded to be thankful and we all set aside this one day a year to spend it with our family and friends to give thanks.   For me... Thanksgiving has always been a favorite from the planning of the menu, the shopping, the cooking, the Macy's parade,  the football, the eating and of course, the annual Rook card game that always took place.    Then of course, after the final meal on Thanksgiving night... the planning of the Black Friday excursion that has turned out in recent years to be comical, exhausting and something that has become a tradition.   Even though I may not need one single thing... just the thrill of it excites me watching all the people get up at 2 and 3 am standing in line, camping out...  ready to  run, grab and seize the bargains.   It's so amusing and yes, there I am right there in the middle of it.   I'm already waiting in anticipation of "the deal of 2011" and planning my pirate map of strategy.   (This way.. you hit all the stores during the peak times to get the best deals!)

The holidays are a little more difficult for me since the passing of my parents and this will be the 2nd year without both of them...... it's like I have nowhere to go "home" to... and sometimes that thought overwhelms me.   It's also in those moments that the true meaning of Thanksgiving shines down upon me.  I am grateful and extremely thankful that for 45 years,  I was able to spend it with them and I know my greatest blessings and riches are my memories of them and time spent with them.

I have many other things in my life that I am thankful and grateful for and I am sure that my list is similar to yours.  I've been very fortunate to have been blessed with healthy and happy children who have grown into wonderful adults.  I am thankful for a blue eyed, blonde headed 3 year old who tears my heart up in all the right ways.   I'm grateful for my Clampett family who always make me laugh and whenever we are together, there's always something fun in the making.   I am thankful for the  many friends I have,  from all walks of life,  and I'm often reminded that whenever I'm feeling alone or needing a laugh, there's always somebody to share a conversation, or text.  (These days... it's all about the texting!!!!)   I am grateful to love what I do work wise and have a passion for creating events that are truly a labor of love.   I really try to be thankful all through-out the year, but its nice to know that we all have this one day where we can set aside everything else and enjoy it with those we love and celebrate.

 I'm also reminded that during this time of year, there are those who are not as fortunate and those who need  a hot meal or warm clothes.   We should all be of heart to "give back" in our communities.   There are many worthwhile organizations who ensure that your time, donations, or help goes to benefit those who truly need it.   It also does something amazing for your heart knowing that you helped someone less fortunate.

So... as this week begins,  I'll pull out my mother's recipes which are one of my most treasured and prized possessions.   I'm sure I will never live up to her superb cooking skills for the holidays, but, I'll cook  with the same love that she did for so many years.  I'll plan and prepare... and try to perfect the recipes just as she did... although, most of you know that your mothers never use recipes.  They just put in a pinch of this, a pinch of that... stir... and as I have often told my mother... all she ever had to do was stick her finger in it and it was delicious.   (Oh... could I only be that lucky one day!)

This Thanksgiving, I'll enjoy time with my family and eventually,  as my adult children leave to go to their other stops that day... I'll take a few moments to reflect on how much my life has changed over the years and through it all... I am so thankful that the blessings are still overflowing.   Life is a journey and we all go through trials, tribulations and triumphs.    Its up to us to make it the best journey it can be filled with love, laughter and life.  

May you all have safe travels, a blessed holiday and most of all a reflection and insight that we all have something to be thankful for in our lives.  

Happy Thanksgiving!


(By the way... don't forget to take the giblets out of the turkey before cooking!)  (And yes... my very first one years ago... ... I didn't take them out!)  YIKES!!!!
  

The Art of Conversation... what an Exchange!

Seems I've been slacking on the writing lately.... but not without good reason.   The last 6-8 weeks have been hectic and busy focusing on a brand new event for the hospitality industry.  Yes... a new launch.... a new concept and, YES...  it was amazing.  Hospitality Business Exchange.  From start to finish... the goal never changed in creating and developing something unique for the industry.   The event focused on one-on-one meetings, networking and an exchange of ideas, insights and information.   With every new venture or idea, you're always hoping for the best... and with this dynamic concept... my fingers and toes have been crossed for quite awhile.

The hard work, effort, stress and craziness was all worth it when it was all said and done.  More than 80 food and beverage professionals gathered in a luxurious resort for 2 1/2 days where business became productive, simple and back to the basics.  Isn't it amazing that we all forget the key element of success?  We get so wrapped up in closing the sale or meeting our goals, but we forget the real reward in our business or personal lives.  Relationships.    Conversation.   Well... I think the exchange accomplished both in a great way!

I have to give a huge shout-out to those dear friends, suppliers, buyers... who from start to finish... helped with ideas and topics.  They had no idea how it would all turn out.. but their belief that I could pull this off never waivered.   Those that were somewhat doubtful, but you hung in there with me anyway... I'm so very glad you did.   It was not an easy journey by any means...but... we made it!

The event was dubbed "beta-test" by me early on in the process... it was something completely new to me as well as those we were trying to convince that it would be the greatest thing since the invention of the ipod.. ipad... iphone4?   (You get the point!)    So... with fresh ideas, a determination and passion that many have seen from me in the days of yesteryear... our goal was to launch a new event in a totally new format that centered around face-to-face.   That's right.. one-on-one!     Relationships and Conversation.   The other focus... keep it small.   Don't try to get every single person you can.  Make it exclusive and intimate.  (yep...that's practically unheard of, I know.)

 Imagine that... an event where SMALL is the NEW BIG.    As the event began... I was hopeful that the majority of those in attendance would like the format and concept and feel that their time was well spent and productive and that being a participant was really valuable.   The outcome was so much more than I could have hoped for by closing night.   Everyone was really interacting and enjoying the closeness of a small group.   Conversations were endless and fruitful.   Business was getting done in a very highly focused arena yet relaxed, comfortable and intimate.

I'm overwhelmed by all of the positive comments from friends and colleagues.  I learned quite a bit about myself during the planning, coordination and execution of this event.  ( I think I learned something about those there as well!)   If you have a passion and belief, don't settle... take the risk and go for it.   The other thing that was reconfirmed to me is that regardless of where you end up in your life.. you should never risk your relationships.   They are your most valuable asset.

For those friends and colleagues who were there... thank you doesn't seem adequate enough to show appreciation for your friendship, confidence, support and belief that we could create something new, fresh, innovative in such a small arena... but when all was said and done... we did.

The exchange of dialogue was open and ongoing.  Our industry has changed and evolved... and there's an exciting buzz about something completely off the radar that allows us to keep our cost down, yet yield high results.   The best news of all is that the conversation continues and ideas are already flowing for the next exchange.   I'm looking forward to it and I hope you are as well.   If you're in a meeting with a key buyer or supplier... make sure to mention it.    (Also... if you're on facebook - LIKE US on our new page - Hospitality Business Exchange or if you tweet, please follow me jenrobinson09 or hbe5.   You can also find me on LINKEDIN.

Geez.. looks like I'm everywhere!!!

By the way... I found some fabulous new recipes for some tasty beverages!  Have you tried Monin's Apple Pie flavor... oh my goodness!  (They also have Blueberry, Blackberry, Pomegranate and so many many more!!!!)

Where's that Exuberant Bunny When You Need Him?

Have you ever watched that energizer bunny commercial and thought... man, do I need those batteries?  How does he just keep going and going and going and..... Well, right now... I could use some new batteries to recharge.

Lately, I've been in a slump.  I am not sure when it happened or how... I just know that I'm having a hard time, getting out of it.   It feels like I'm angry all the time,  feels like I've aged 20 years in less than a month, my body is out of whack and its adapted an entirely new personality.  Who is this person in this body? How did you get in here?   Sorta a cross between alien and the exorcist.   Okay... maybe not that bad, but, honestly, I don't like the way it feels.

Life can be a frenzy and at times, we simply forget to breathe.  (Or I do anyway.)  We get so caught up in the whirlwind of our lives... that we don't realize how stressed we are until we are buried.  

Our routines take up every minute in a 24 hour day.   We get up, either already rushing or we end up that way.  We drive to work spending the time contemplating how we are going to get everything done or making use of the time while driving to get on the phone and make appointments whether doctor, dentist or something for the kids.  (One good thing in my favor, my kids are grown... they can make their own appointments, but somehow, even with that.. the time is used for something.)  We go to work, spend our day on the computer, the phone, dealing with problems or challenges, interacting with people and trying to maintain some semblance of balance.   We go home, cook dinner, text, facebook, help with homework, get our "to-do" list at home done and take care of any extracurricular activities that are on the calendar for the day.   It seems that sometimes we get so caught up in everything that has to be done... that by the time you're supposed to go to bed,  your brain simply won't shut off which leads to sleepless nights.   For me, insomnia has become part of my life for so long... I'm not sure what would happen if it went away.  It seems like a never ending cycle.   After about 6-7 days... I have to break out the sleep assist medications just so I can get some rest.  

Everybody has times in their lives when they simply need to stop and rejuvenate with whatever methods work for them.   I've thought about this a lot lately, so I began to research to come up with a list of things that are suppose to help.  I never realized that recharging your batteries actually has a list of how to do it.   Some things on the list... take a deep breath, go outside for fresh air, take a long hot bath, listen to some inspiring music, pet an animal, have lunch with someone you love, laugh loudly and hard.... and so many more.    How many of these actually work?  I'm not sure, but I intend to try each and every one until I find the right combination.   I guess the reality is we all have moments in our lives when we get worn down and there's only one person who can truly get you out of a slump.  Yourself.   Yes, it helps to have the support of family and friends, but at the end of the day... we all are responsible for our own happiness, our own actions and the end result is because of our ability to find balance in our lives.  

Working your way out of a slump is just like everything else, there will be up's and downs, but with effort and focus, I will find that happy place that sets the world back right again.   Until then, all I can do is keep looking to find what works.  I know that my life has been filled with tons of stress lately, many changes and challenges and times when I just wanted to give up.  Haven't we all felt like that at one time or another?   I know that recently my niece posted on her facebook page that she just wanted to drop out of college.  Obviously, she was having a bad day because that is not an option.   So, she had to get up, dust herself off and get right back in the groove.  

I'm the same way... I know that deep down I'm not a person who gives up even though at the moment, I feel like the scoreboard reads - Life 4 Me 0.  First, I'm much too competitive and secondly, when you give up, you let all the stress and strain in your life win.   They may get ahead and get the best of you, but it's up to you, to stay strong and come out on top.

I guess it leads me back to my own advice.... stop and smell the roses.   I thought I had my life in a good rhythm and I was learning to relax and enjoy.  Seems lately, old habits have crept back and taken over, but now that I have identified my slump, voiced it out loud and come up with a strategy... I am sure to pull myself out of the semi-black hole.

...in the meantime,  I'm on the look-out for that overactive bunny who has boundless energy and never stops.  If you find him, could you send him my way and hopefully by then, all I will need to do is place him in a locked room, turn off his drum and hold him hostage until I need him again.  

"If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race."  Oprah Winfrey

Stand Up for the ARTS and Thank You iSteve!

Well... this week, I'm on a soapbox.  It's not often that I get on one.. but when I do.. WHEW!    Where shall I start... first, I guess the story of "as you grow older, the more like your parents you become is coming true."  I had my first glimpse of realizing I may be more like my mother than I thought or knew.

This past week, controversy began brewing in my hometown.   We are very fortunate to live in a small town (college town) that is known on a national scale for writers (Faulkner, Grisham, Brown to name a few...), painters, potters, artists, and more.  Yes.. the ARTS are alive and well in Oxford, Mississippi.

Yet, this week our local board of supervisors voted 3-2 to revoke a mere $15,000 to one of the groups who supports the community with art programs.  YAC (Yoknapatawpha Arts Council).  The Arts Council is the official arts agency for Oxford and Lafayette County, with one full-time staff member, a twelve member Board of Directors, and volunteers working to transform the creative works of artists, performers, musicians, and writers into programs that create jobs, attract tourists, and enrich our community. How effective is the arts council? In 2009 the arts council working with local artists fostered over 315 days of art programs. These programs ranged from gallery exhibits, live music, performing arts, and special events including free dance lessons for all ages, free arts classes, and a writer’s series that featured nationally recognized authors.

So, as you're reading this, you're probably saying... that's wonderful what the council does for your community.  Well, you're right... it is wonderful, yet our supervisors voted to revoke funding due to mis-information regarding an art show that included partial nudity.   The supervisors did not have all of the information yet, they voted anyway.   They had heard complaints from 1 or 2, maybe 5 or 6 that the art show contained some partial nudity and was going to be held at the Powerhouse, which is home to YAC.   Now... because of the voices of a few... all of a sudden this single show is the reason for every good thing that the art council does to not get funding.  The sad part... is that if the supervisors had TABLED the vote until they could verify their concerns instead of voting without all of the information, they would have found out the following:  No Council funds were used for the art exhibit, which was moved to a nearby location on private property in a tent after a handful of community members expressed concern that the show, “Scratch and Sniff” was too racy to be held at the Powerhouse.  


The community was in an outrage over the vote and groups were formed to help support.  I guess the one good thing that came out of it is that now YAC is planning a fundraiser to help so that they don't have to rely on government funding so much, but even with that said... the funding should not have been revoked in the first place.  


I am sure that the supervisors who voted to revoke the $15,000 had a barrage of emails and phone calls  The voices of many were loud and clear. What really had me upset is that this local board could be influenced by 1 or 2, 5 or 6... instead of reaching out to the entire community that they represent.   How can you vote on something that obviously you don't have all the facts?   


 (Well... long story short.... 2 of the 3 who voted against, will not be returning to office in January and the 3rd one has had a change of heart and has said that he asked for the funding issue to be placed back on the agenda in November and he will change his vote.)   Advice for the newly elected - please get ALL the information you need to make an insightful vote against something that impacts the community.   Do not vote unless you can do so with having all of the facts.   So, for now, it appears that the controversy will be averted by a "re-do" of the vote, but the question that lingers in my mind is how many votes have happened that the local board didn't have all the information and yet... they cast a vote aye or nay.   As an elected official, you have the responsibility to represent your district, community and city with the best interests, therefore, in order to do so... know what it is you are voting for or against.   


So... how does this tale of controversy lead up to the fact that the older I get, the more like my mother... well, those of you who were blessed to know her... know that she loved nothing better than to voice her  opinion against the politicians and debate every issue she disagreed, yet many, called her their friend.   I have had many tell me she helped them more than she would ever know.  Why?  Because she stood up for what she believed in... and fought for what was right.  My single voice might not make a difference, but it makes me proud to know that I voiced it out loud for others to know where my support was on this particular issue.   Maybe.... I will start tuning in to all of the supervisor meetings and see exactly what they are doing in there.   Maybe... we should all do that.  


On another note... The world is feeling quite a loss with the passing of Steve Jobs.  I am trying to get my arms around my own thoughts about the impact that this single man has had on our society.   Even as I sit here typing.... on  yes, an Apple Macbook Pro.... listening to itunes...... answering my iphone..... and knowing that I'll pick up my ipad... at any given moment... it's hard not to try and grasp it.

Jobs will leave a legacy for changing the world when his own beginnings were that of a struggle.  He was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption, bribed in the 4th grade to "learn" with $5 and candy, and used a passion for something he loved - electronics to change the world as we know it.   Jobs shared his passion and intensity with the world, yet at the end of the day, he would have said... I am just a man.   It will be a long time before another CEO, or individual has the impact that he has had on our society.   He's probably up in heaven creating yet another app...God Bless.




"You can 't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." 

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Address, June 2005

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Fall has arrived!  Cooler temperatures seem to be just around the corner, leaves will begin changing into bursting hues of orange and red,  providing beauty all around.   I have to say, that it truly is my favorite time of year.  Maybe it's that with Fall, comes football, world series and the holidays that I love the most.  It's hard to believe it's already October and that we'll soon be thinking about Thanksgiving and even Christmas.  (Yes... some stores are already thinking Christmas.)  (Don't get me started on that rant!)  With this blog, I found myself realizing that in a few days, I will have survived another year.   I guess as we all turn another year older, we try to remember where the years have gone and what life lessons we learned along the way.   Seems the older you get, the more like one of your parents you become... or so I have been told recently.    For me, my lessons learned the hard way... are many.   You'd think that along with these new wrinkles I'm discovering,  I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice.    

So... in all my years of wisdom, what lessons have I learned the hard way.  Well, for starters... things always happen for a reason and only you can find a meaning within those things.   It goes back to the whole half empty/half full attitude.   Say... someone loses their job... one person might use that as an opportunity to do something they've always wanted to do with a new career while another might sink into despair and complain about the world doing them wrong.   I've said this many times before... your attitude truly is the foundation to your happiness.   

The grass isn't always greener.   Most of us have envisioned at one time or another when we were in a bad situation whether it was a job or relationship, that if we could only get out... my how different things would be, only to find that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.  

Don't worry about the things we can't control.   I am a worrier.  I worry about everything and as I have gotten older... it has just gotten worse.  Reacting is one of the things that I do best... and not always in a good way.   Trying to remember that the only person that I can control is myself and my reaction to others has helped me to keep my temper down to a low simmer in a lot of situations.    

Pick your battles.  Personal or professional, this is probably my hardest lesson to learn and I am still learning it.   We have all been in situations where we allowed something small to send us over the edge that created a bigger battle than necessary.   In my career, I've learned to set boundaries.   I've learned when to draw the line because people will only treat you the way you allow them to.  In my personal life, I'm still learning the lesson.  I'm hardheaded and one of those that feels you have to fight it out in order for the balance of the universe to get back on its axis.   Right or wrong, it's a hard lesson that I keep learning over and over.  (Surely, one day, I'll learn...).   

Happiness shouldn't be tied to success.   This is another one that really challenges me.   Success equates to a better being, happier person and all around better attitude.  As I've grown professionally, I realize that my failures were just as much a part of helping me become the person I have as my successes.  The failures are more important.   We all need to have the mindset that sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't.  We don't need to let the times they don't dictate our well being.

You don't pick your family or the person you love.  You do pick your friends.   There is nothing that brings me greater joy than my Clampett family and the friendships that I cherish.    "A friend is a gift you give yourself" and "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out" are two of my favorite quotes.  

Be thankful.  This isn't necessarily a lesson learned the hard way, its one that I think most people forget or take for granted.   I don't take for granted.  I have been extremely blessed.  Even when I feel like my world is crumbling and I'm being sucked into the black hole of darkness, taking a few moments and reminding myself of all the things that I have to be thankful for usually helps put things back into perspective.  

Lessons learned the hard way are never easy especially when they unintentionally or intentionally hurt you or another person.   We've all been through them. We've all learned from them and we've all vowed not to make the same mistakes twice.  In most cases, I'd like to think I've done just that, but I know that there are several areas where my weaknesses come through and I haven't completely learned that life lesson yet.  

So... as Fall continues to approach with all it's glory, I am thankful that I have made it another year.  I'm thankful for all of life's lessons I've learned the hard way.   Somehow, they've helped me become the person I am today.   

As I close out my first post of October... I will leave you to ponder the following.... (see growing older makes you so much wiser, doesn't it?) 

"Age should not have its face lifted, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character."  

"An old fox understands the trap".  - Proverb