Balance.. is the key to Survival!

Kick it into High Gear!  Right?  Right.   Well, it seems 2012 has started off in just that way.  Fast.  Furious.  With no let up on the accelerator.  0 to 90 ...  Sound familiar?   Can you believe... it's already February?   I'm not complaining... actually, just the opposite.    One thing that I have found is that when you're busy and focusing on task after task... your adrenaline is flowing and you're pumped.   (or at least I am.)  Right now... I'm very fortunate to have several projects going on at once and it seems, that daily, I add a few more to the list.   Over-achiever or crazy?  How about... a little of both?  

One topic that seems to come up over and over again in any business conversation is how do you do it?  How do you multi-task and seem to make it easy and simple, AND, get it all done?   The reality is... I don't really multi-task.   I realized a long time ago that multi-tasking isn't really productive or at least my definition of it, isn't.    For me,  instead of multi-tasking, I prefer to call my time management style ---  keeping balanced.  And for the record, just when I think I have it mastered... I have much to learn.    I have  found that if I can accomplish balance in my daily life, keep my time and focus on the tasks as well as be more relaxed about what doesn't get done,  then my results are high.  I also limit the number of high priority tasks in a day.   Sometimes, we set ourselves up for failure, by trying to do too much in any given day.    I've also realized that conversations and people are much more important than getting certain tasks done, so balance, has helped me to decide what is more important on any given day.  

For me, I set deadlines for everything on my plate, actually several of them.   I set a pre-deadline and then a final.   You're probably wondering, why two?  Well,  I can keep myself in check along the way,  so that things don't seem to pile up or get overwhelming.    Call me an organizational freak?  Nah... not me.  Trust me... there have been many ... and I do mean, many times... when I lost the battle of being organized.      I do think that time management is something that every person in the business world needs refreshed on every 3 months.  Why?  Because we all get lax and need a boost.   Another reason, is ... to put it simple, Social Media.   I wrote a blog awhile back about it ruling our lives.   (Sometimes, I still feel that way... but, I have now, found a way to balance it into my daily routine.)   It's not easy and probably the hardest task I have, but, you just have to keep trying.  Social media is here to stay and will become a bigger factor in the future, so instead of letting it rule us... we need to find a way to utilize it and balance it into our lives.  

So... multi-tasking... is there really such a thing?    Yes, absolutely.  For me, personally,  I found out quickly that something always suffered when I tried to focus on 3, 4 and 5 projects at one time.  Now... let me clarify this before anyone takes this statement the wrong way.  I can work on several projects at the same time, but I allocate my time so that each day, each of them gets their own space and attention.  Also.. I've been known to set aside things if a conversation was more important.  I decided that in order to be successful, I needed to figure out not multi-tasking, but balance.   Time balance that is... and since I have been practicing this method, things have worked out much better.  Am I guilty of still trying to multi-task?  (uh... last time I looked, I'm human!!!!)  

Trust me, there have been many times, when I've been on conference calls... and while listening... I was also emailing and signing documents and whatever else was on my desk.   I'm as guilty as the next person on doing this, but, lessons learned often lead us to better habits.   Now, when I schedule a call, I make sure that I limit the time.   I realized a long time ago, nothing can be accomplished in a hour, that cannot be accomplished in 30 minutes.   If it's not... then just reschedule another call.   It's hard to maintain focus for a complete hour on the phone WHEN you have other distractions.  By doing this... I found that the interruptions that were there before, suddenly became less.   I also think that by making calls shorter... your focus is immediate.   Think about how many calls you've been on... and how much time is actually wasted.  

What about meetings?     Once upon a time... I thought the meaning of a meeting was to set a time for a meeting.  You've heard that one, right?   Nowadays, I only set a meeting face to face,  if I know it will be productive and useful.   There have been many meetings where I've done nothing but listen... and learned more than I ever would have by talking.   There have been many meetings where within 15 minutes, I knew what needed to be accomplished.   Then ... there have been 2 hour meetings when I find myself working on other tasks and completely not "into" the meeting.   So... for me, lessons learned from the past.  Keep them short and simple... and to the point.  

Time for just stuff.   Everybody I know laughs at me when I say that everyday... I have about 2 hours (an hour in the morning and one in the afternoon for "just stuff". )   This is to have a casual conversation with a friend.   This is for the paperwork that seems to build.  This is for the creative thinking that I try to incorporate into every day.  This is for just... whatever it needs to be for in my day.     Every day... we all have "just stuff".  There's no way around it.  Instead of trying to pretend we don't, just build it into your day.

Emails and Texts.     Here's one that is going to shock everyone.   I believe that emails and texts should be answered promptly.  If somebody takes the time to send me an email or a text, then I need to take time to respond promptly.   What does that mean?  What is prompt?  For emails... it depends on the daily schedule but if I am in my "just stuff" time, I'll respond within an hour.   If I have conference calls scheduled... at the end of each call, I check email and respond.   If I have meetings... as soon as I'm done, I check emails and respond.   I check them first thing in the morning and respond and last thing in the evening and respond.   It's one of my biggest pet peeves in business... is that when you send an email and have to wait to get a response for several days.  (Now.. there are certain exceptions to this, of course... if you're on vacation, sick, or unable to access your email for whatever reason.)   i do believe in auto response when you are unavailable for a long period of time because at least your sender will know why you aren't promptly replying.   

Texts are probably one of the things that irritates me the most... because I am a big texter.  It's just the way of the modern world.    My theory is this... if somebody takes time to send me a text, then I need to respond.   If  I'm busy or can't talk... it takes less than a minute, probably less than 30 seconds...  to type that exact message and send it back.  At least the person on the other end, knows I got the text and I'm not ignoring them.  They know that I will get back to them when I am available.   There is nothing worse than sending a text... and it not being answered... for hours.   At least for me... its irritating as heck!  

I'm the same with phone calls.  If somebody takes the time to call me, I try to make it a rule to call them back either the same day or at the latest the very next day.   Does this always work?  No, but, I have learned that if you continue to do something a certain way... it becomes second nature and you just automatically do it.

Balance... there's no tried or true method to it.  Its something that you have to work on every single day.   There are days when things are more challenging than others and with those days, you just have to be patient and keep trying.   I've always found that by not "sweating the small stuff" and taking deep breaths along the way helps my method.   In my own life, I find myself much happier now that I am practicing balance, making time for conversations and when I respond to those who take time to send me a note.   Sometimes, when you least expect it... balance provides the harmony we all seek every single day.  

“Balance is not better time management, but better boundary management.  Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices.”   – Betsy Jacobson

"I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything.. at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything."  Dan Millman

Leader of the Pack... Yes, My Mother.

Time heals.   Is this really a true statement?   This week is a tough one for me and it has been the last two years and it will be going forward every year.  This week will forever be in my heart and on my mind.

I've recently realized that for the last two years... I've just been going through the motions of life.   Putting one foot in front of the other.   I've just kept moving.  (I was told... just take it one day at a time... and it will get better with time.)      Newsflash:  Time cannot fix anything nor can it heal your heart.    It takes actions to fix anything and it takes steps to help your heart heal in a way that you can handle your loss.    

Two years ago this week.... my mom passed away.   

Two years later... I cannot have a conversation about my mother to anyone... without tears falling.   Two years later... I am still picking up the phone to call her from the grocery store.   Two years later... I am still having difficulty going through some of her things and continue to put it off.   Two years later... I can hear her in things that come out of my mouth.   Two years later... I still miss her as if... it were yesterday.   

You're probably reading this and thinking... how depressing.   Actually, don't think that.  For the first time in awhile, I can actually smile and know it's a real smile.  I can laugh and know that I'm truly feeling joy back into my life.    Time has given me an opportunity to deal with my own feelings, my own needs and to know that no matter how much time has passed... it's always going to hurt and I'm always going to miss... her.  Actually, I miss both of my parents... greatly.   Time has given me a chance to realize that it's up to me to take the steps needed to live again and not just go through the motions.   Nothing can ever replace a loved one that you lose.   Nothing will ever be the same.  Time has allowed me to accept that and begin the healing process where I can enjoy my life again.  

Remembering helps.  Remembering allows our emotions to be expressed.   I've learned that it's okay to cry.  It's okay to still feel loss.  It's okay to handle grief differently.   This blog is not a blog of self-pity.  No...  This blog is a tribute... to my foundation.   I've read so many other amazing blogs on loss and grief.  They've all been inspiring and they've all helped as I've traveled through my own grief to get to this point.   Now.. I can remember and not feel pain, but feel tremendous love.    It's amazing how our parents impact our lives in ways that we don't realize... until we don't have it any longer.   Have you thought about the things that you'd truly miss?   For me.. my choices surprised me and at the same time, they also brought a smile to my face.

My mother used to get great satisfaction out of lecturing me about getting on airplanes, traveling alone and going out into the big bad world... (at age 40!)  Deep down... she was really living vicariously through me, even though she would never admit it.   Ever.   Every trip I would take... I would get a phone call that would start out with.... "Are you there?"... and I would smile and take a deep breath and say... "Yes, I made it."  The conversation would continue... with "Well, what's there?"... when reality was... I had only landed 15 minutes prior and hadn't made it out of the airport.   But... like all dutiful daughters... I played along and said.. well, I haven't seen anything but big buildings yet, etc.. and this would eventually lead into... the dangers of the world.   After a 15-20 minute conversation, she would finally have enough information... to pass along to her telephone chain.

Needless to say, everybody who was friends with my mother... always knew where I was and what I was doing which was why... I learned to only tell her things... that didn't really matter.   Now... I don't have that opportunity to share with her... my "glamourous" life as she used to call it, but, every trip... I still wait for the phone call... that doesn't come.

Now... I am sure that some of you have always heard stories about how your parents had it much tougher than you did.   I know that in my family, it was always a topic that turned into how "spoiled" we were and if we had to pick cotton like she did and work from " can to can't!"     One of my fondest memories is hearing my mother talk with her siblings about growing up and their adventures in the cotton patch.   I'm laughing now, just thinking about it.   My mother came from a large family.  She had 7 siblings in her family and 2 siblings from her dad's family prior to marrying my "mamaw".   They weren't a rich family,  and to hear my mother tell it... they were the exact opposite, but they always had food on the table and they all worked from the time they could walk (her words), except the "second" set as she liked to refer to a couple of my aunts and an uncle.  (What does second set mean?  My mother's youngest sister was born when she was 17 or 18 years old) so, she called them the second set.   The funny thing.. is that she absolutely would have walked on water for her younger sister, although she said that when she was born she was soooooo embarrassed.  For that matter, she would have walked on water for any of her siblings... she was just that way.  She may not have wanted them to know it... but they knew.   She could talk about them and her own kids all day long, but don't let anyone else breath a word of bad.  She stood beside and with her family through thick and thin, even as she was "politely" letting you know what you did wrong.  (For those who knew my mother... I am sure you can all laugh of what "politely" meant!)

As I write and laugh out loud... one thing that I know will always be said about her...is that most people thought my mother was mean.  In fact, she was mean and the older she got and more set in her ways, the meaner she became... but the real truth is... she would have given the shirt off her back for those she loved.  She played the tough, strong, independent leader to the hilt.  One of my cousins, who my mother loved like her own, made the statement when she passed away, "She was the Leader of the Pack".   It was true.  She played it well, but the truth is.. when things got tough or somebody needed something... my mother was the first person there.    My mother wasn't an overly affectionate person.  She would grant a pat to a long lost relative or a hug every now and then.  She would hug her grandchildren and love on her great grand-baby... but she never said the words.  My mother was a "fighter" and I say that with laughter because honestly, she'd fight or debate about anything and to anyone.   You didn't even have to be family to be on the reciprocal end.   One of the things that I loved to do best... was hug my mother when she least expected it, especially if she was mad.   She would act like she was fighting mad, when deep down, she loved every minute of it.

Two years later... I'd love to be able to hug my mother.  I'd love to hear a story of how tough she had it and how lucky I am.  I'd love for my telephone to ring.   Two years later... I'd love for her to tell me that I'm not cooking something right.    Two years later... I'm smiling and laughing.... and finally realizing that I'm still doing all those things... through memories.    For the first time... tears didn't fall from pain, they fell from joy.

Parents are priceless treasures in our lives just as our children, grandchildren, friends and other loved ones are to us.   Take time every day... to show and share your love.   Life is precious and time is ours... don't waste a minute.

  

The Lesson Joey Taught Me....

For me... relaxing is not an easy task.   As you've found out through-out reading my blog for the past year... I stress and worry... and finding ways to decompress are difficult for me.  I'm not saying that I haven't been able to accomplish it... but, it's difficult.   One of my favorite things... to do... whether alone or with others... is to spend a couple of hours in a movie theatre being swept away.   

I always  enjoy previews of coming movies, books, television programs, etc.  There are some that "lure" you in from the moment you see them or read about them for the first time.  There are others.. that come out of nowhere and surprise you.  (The Help... The Blind Side...)

For me... every holiday season, there's always one movie that is a "must" see because of the previews.     It seems that the movie industry has figured out that after you do your Christmas Eve... and Christmas Day Lunch with your family, extended family and whoever else stops in that..... by afternoon and evening... YOU need an outlet... so why not take the family to the movie.   This has become a tradition of sorts in my own family and this holiday season was no exception.

So.. this year... without a doubt... I knew from the very first preview, my holiday movie was going to be War Horse.   There was something quite compelling about it that just "had me at hello".

I wasn't sure how I would handle the "war" portion of the movie...but for me, the relationships came through even in the previews and I knew... it was THE ONE movie, I had to see.  So... bundled up, Christmas afternoon... the Clampetts headed to the movie.  (What's interesting is that we had a discussion on the way... that we'd be the only ones there... ummm... NOT.   It was a packed house.... all showings!)

As titled, the horse is definitely the key to all of the relationships in the movie... which I found quite interesting since in life... in a group of people, isn't there always one person or common thing that draws you all together.   In War Horse, "Joey" truly bonds with everyone he encounters and brings out magic in each relationship.  He changes their lives in a way... that you feel as if you have your own connection with the horse.  The movie is about a friendship between a boy and his horse, their journey together, apart and finally back together.  It's a story of love, hope, loyalty and... determination.

From the opening scenes... pure, raw beauty...of a European countryside that showed a simple life...you knew it was going to be special.    It was almost like you were holding your breath from those beginning moments to the most brutal of scenes of war and turmoil.   I felt like a puppet.    Through-out the movie,  there were some moments, when I laughed.  Some when i felt the tears burning and others when... I was holding my hands over my eyes.   The war scenes were tough for me, especially one particular one that involves the horse.   But... tugging your emotions is what a good movie is truly all about.  This one... was a masterpiece at making you feel.   Taking you from high to low, back to high again... and keeping your attention all the way through.  The movie is long.. but, you're so involved, for me... it didn't feel that way at all.

Another positive for me... it was truly a great drama that stayed honest and genuine.  There were no words thrown in just to be thrown in... so you could get an R rating.  Sometimes, I think... they just add those... to add them.  They have no bearing on the movie whatsoever and it drives me crazy.  This movie to me.. was Steven Spielberg at his best, yet... it was completely different from any other film he's done.  It was genius.   He took a beautiful, chestnut horse... that relayed power, integrity and innocence and told the story through his eyes.   The marketing ... the greatest journey is the one that leads back home... an epic adventure... hit the mark.   

As I thought about the movie afterward, the message hit home in a very profound way.   The message of loyalty, friendship, love... and determination is definitely one that should inspire all of us.  It should motivate each of us in our own lives.  It should teach us a lesson... that the gift of friendship and love is unconditional.   It's an unbreakable bond between two individuals,  that no matter what obstacles stand in our way... we should push forward through them all.  I think we can all speak from experience that when we meet someone, become best of friends or love them... know that it was simply meant to be.  We also know... that no matter what... we will always be with this person at whatever costs.   For Joey... he fought a war to get back to where he belonged.   How many wars have you fought for your friends or someone you love to get back to where you belong?  

 I know that when I came out of this movie... yes... there were tears... but there was this heartfelt feeling of gratitude for reminding me of what's most important.  Yes... I definitely plan to spend more time at the movies enjoying the simple pleasure of being taken away from the real world... if only for a few hours because sometimes... you actually find that you can apply it to your own life.  

So, next time you're stressed out, having problems, needing a break... take in a movie.   It might be just the thing to change your perspective and your outlook.

For me... WAR HORSE.... definitely Oscar worthy.   (The horse should GET the statue!!)  SO... VOTE FOR JOEY!!!!!

LUCK, FORTUNE, LOVE, HAPPINESS... bring it 2012! Bring it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR and HAPPY ONE YEAR "BLOG" ANNIVERSARY!

Wow!  Can you believe I've actually been blogging for one whole year?   Geez... I had a lot to say... and it appears, I'm still full of it!  (Yes, I am sure that got a great big giggle from some of you and for others... you are now rolling on the floor with belly aching laughter!)  Let me just say thank you to all of you who continue to come back post after post...and read my blog.  I've hit over 3000 views,  which to me... is astounding!  3000 in one year.... for an unknown blogger... well, I will gladly take it and smile all the way to the next post!  (woo hoo!  woo hoo!)  

So.. here we go... 2012... a brand new year... new opportunities... new resolutions... new relationships...new diet..... new goals and challenges....  new everything, right?  Clean the slate and start anew!    So... in honor of a new year...... I've given the blog a new look, some updates and hopefully this year will provide some fresh perspectives and inspiration.    Aren't we blessed to have the chance to "undo", "redo", and "whatever do" at the beginning of every new year.   This year is LEAP year, so we even get an extra day to do it.    So, let's kick 2012 off right... well, let's kick it off with something that was a MUST in my house... and probably yours.   

I'm not sure about you... but every year.. on January 1st... TRADITION takes over in my house.   It's something that I have done for ... as long as I was able to eat solid food.   When my mother was alive, she would ensure that this particular tradition was one.. that was not to be missed or messed with in any way.   If I was going to be out of town on January 1st, she would always call me and make sure that I had not messed with tradition.  (Now.... some might say, these are old wivestales, superstitions, folklores... just stories that have been told and passed down from generation to generation... but, whatever they are... I am not one to mess with it!)  

So.. what is it?   Being from the South, we have a tradition that on New Year's Day... you MUST eat black-eyed peas, cabbage and ham jowls/ hocks or pork chops.... whatever portion but some type of pork.    (Now, I'm not sure about other parts of the country...but I know that anywhere you go in the deep south... on new year's day... this is the MEAL you're going to get.   Why? 

Well... as history goes... according to my number one go to source for ALL answers to any inquiring questions -- wikipedia.... the suggested origin of the tradition dates back to the Civil War, when Union troops, especially in areas targeted by General William Tecumseh Sherman, typically stripped the countryside of all stored food, crops, and livestock, and destroyed whatever they could not carry away. At that time, Northerners considered "field peas" and field corn suitable only for animal fodder, and did not steal or destroy these humble foods. 

So...what is the meal?   The traditional meal that has been passed down from generation to generation is black eyed peas, turnip greens or mustard greens or cabbage and ham or any pork item.   The peas, since they swell when cooked, symbolize prosperity; the greens symbolize money; the pork, because pigs root forward when foraging, represents positive motion.  Cornbread often accompanies this meal which is sometimes meant to represent gold.

This year... for extra good measure... my New Year's Day meal consisted of black eyed peas (cooked with bacon), cabbage (cooked with bacon) , ham, ... turnip greens, butterbeans, cornbread and rice.    Yes... I wanted to make sure that we were EXTRA covered.   I also insisted that my family, not only eat it for lunch.... but, also for supper!  (yes, in the south... we do call the evening meal... supper!)   The result... a very ful-filling start on the first day of the year with the knowledge that we have carried on not only a family tradition, but one that is buried deep in our southern heritage.   

Now..... tomorrow... we all have to start with our new year diet and begin the 14 day cleanse to get all those toxins out from all of the holiday traditions... but for now, we will be quite satisfied that we've ensured our good luck, our good fortune, our happiness, success and whatever other blessings are sure to come our way in the brand new year.  

I'm looking forward to 2012 and have promised myself... to enjoy the simple pleasures of life and to simply live as one of my resolutions.  I've promised to put myself first more often because... there comes a certain age, when... you deserve it.   As I begin my new journey into the new year, most of all I'm looking forward to sharing it with everyone of you.   


Happy New Year!

Ring out the old, ring in the new, 

Ring happy bells, across the snow:

The year is going, let him go; 

Ring out the false, ring in the true - 

Lord Alfred Tennyson

Something new for the very end of every blog - some of my favorite quotes.  Hope they'll inspire you as they have me at one time or another.      

"I don't think anything is unrealistic IF you believe you can do it"  - Mike Ditka

Self-Reflection... Out with the Old... IN with the New!

Out with the old... and in with the new.... what a familiar saying, right?    It's hard to believe 12 months have passed and we are ready to close out another year.   2011... has pretty much come and gone.     For me, it's been a long year and one filled with many changes.  It's been a year of frustrations, challenges, difficult times... but also one of success and triumph.   I've grown in many ways this past year and found out things about myself that surprised me.  Isn't it amazing that you are never too old to learn something new about yourself.  (And... trust me, I do not like to be reminded how old I am...but, as a very dear friend tells me ... often... AGE is just a number.)  

At the end of every year... I do... what I like to call my "self- reflection" of the past year.  Things that I accomplished... things I didn't.  Things I'd do over... things that I hope to never do again.   Things that made me smile, laugh and really love my life.   Things that were difficult, depressing and provide moments of temporary insanity.   Things I want to change... and things I want to keep.  Self-reflection can be a humbling and numbing exercise, not to mention,  a painful one, but... I've learned that in order to grow as an individual, sometimes, we need these self-induced "wake-up" calls.    

My wake up call involves a number of items on the "2012 List" both in a good way and those that need some "tweaking" as I will put it.   The good things this past year have allowed me to appreciate small successes both professionally and personally, one by one...each not being easy to accomplish, but just knowing that I did and that I could was success in itself.   What is success without relationships?  NOTHING.   I am very fortunate that I have a wide circle of friends and family who are always rooting for me and are there to share the successes and the failures.  They are the constant in my life..... and I am definitely appreciative of every single relationship and sometimes it takes a very close call of losing a relationship that means everything to you to make you realize how fragile and precious they are to your well being and your happiness.  

Another good thing on my 2011 list has been... this blog.   I have been so touched by the messages I have received after posts.  Your comments that you've made...have really helped me to know that my words have touched different people in different ways.   For me... the writing is therapeutic.  It has provided me with an outlet to express my thoughts.   At the same time, it's also allowed me a broader opportunity to evaluate life experiences in a new way and to share them.  I hope that ya'll will continue reading and sharing back with me.   There's plenty more good on my list from 2011 but there's also some areas of change that I need to address.   We all have those... 

For my "tweaking" items...   One thing I have realized this past year is that I have allowed circumstances beyond my control to "control" my life so to speak and... as of this moment... it stops.   The only thing that I can control is me and my reaction to events surrounding me or affecting me.   I've looked back and realized that my reaction to certain circumstances put me in a bad place at various times during the past year.   It allowed me to become someone that I don't like or really want to be.   So, first on my list....with a double and triple underline... Be ME... and control my reaction and try to breathe before "re-acting."  That's a tall order... but, the first step... being aware of it.   I've said this one many times through-out the year... and I often slip... but, I am determined to be diligent in the coming year.   

Number 2 on my list... REMAIN positive regardless of the situation.   From past experience, I know that negativity can swallow you up ... and drown you ... IF you allow it.   (so, see... #1 and #2 are working together ... here!)  If you're negative, then EVERYTHING is negative.   It's hard to stay positive... all the time.  It's hard to always see the glass half full INSTEAD of half empty... but.... again, the whole purpose of the self-reflection exercise is to remind yourself of all of the things that you want to change... and those you don't.   So... for 2012, I am going to post a positive thoughts and comments as often as I can.   

#3 on my list... is to get healthy again.   At 47... it JUST ain't as easy as it used to be!    I've had health problems for as long as I can remember... from stomach, to back... to migraines... to everything in between.  My list of woes is enough to make your head spin... and as my grown children often tease me... there's not much left for them to take out or to find wrong with me... IS THERE?   The way I see it... it could BE much worse than it is...  so, I definitely feel like I'm pretty LUCKY.   

My back doctor tells me I have the back of an 85 year old... (WOW... that's motivation, isn't it?).   My stomach doctor tells me that i have to find a way to alleviate STRESS from my life..... because apparently, when I am stressed... so is my stomach! (I could be the poster person for TUMS, PEPCID, PREVACID, NEXIUM,  well... you get the picture, right?)    (Well... if anybody can tell me a cure for stress... I am all ears!)  I've realized that being healthy is really about having a balance in all things.  It's not just about diet and exercise.   So... I have a new plan for 2012.... that hopefully will put my mind, body and soul back in balance for a healthier, less stressful and happier me again.   OH, I SO WANT TO BE ME AGAIN.   (You're probably asking yourself... well, who has she been?)  

#4 on my list... is in regards to my professional life.  This past year, I managed to develop and execute a brand new concept...that I truly believe in and for that I am quite grateful for the many friends and colleagues who stood with me and behind me to get it off the ground.   I plan on coming back in 2012 with a few changes to make it even better.   Success is sweeter when shared and it's often a result of those around you.   In my situation, that is definitely the reason.   So, #4 .. is to continue to TRY, not give up and work hard to find opportunities to grow professionally.   The phrase... UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver... definitely means something.  I want to be looked upon as someone who doesn't give up... who has a passion and believes .... I want to be the person that has the positive outlook and attitude to accomplish anything.   Will there be failures?  Of course.. but, with every success... failure helps you get there.   

My list continues on with a number of odds and in's... but for the most part, I know that I am truly blessed in this life and know not to take a moment of it for granted.  So #5 on my list... is to SIMPLY LIVE.   It's a motto on my blog page... Simply Livin' and it seems that I needed reminding of it myself. Life itself can sometimes get us down... and it takes a simple gesture to get us back on track.   We should take time every day to breathe and appreciate every moment.  We should love like there is no tomorrow and we should forgive easier.   I guess Tim McGraw's song... Live Like You Were Dying... really holds true and maybe we should all take a moment of self reflection of it. 

2011 has been ... what a good friend once told me... "character building".   I've gone through some tough times on both a personal and professional level... but, at the end of the day.... I'm still here.  I survived and I have the opportunity to make 2012 a better year.   So... as the last week of 2011 begins... and my self reflection episode continues ... I look back with thankfulness for every person who was in my life this past year.   

I look forward to 2012 with a renewed spirit and hope to make a difference, change lives and to be the person that I know that I can be.   I have a new commitment to being me, being positive and to never giving up on the things that I believe in, want and know that are worth it.   I have re-found my passion to simply live for the moment to appreciate all of the things that we often take for granted.  Life... is what we make it... NOT what it makes us.  

My wish for each of you.... is to take time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, to make time for friends, to laugh and enjoy a cup of coffee and a wonderful conversation, to achieve your successes with a smile and take your failures as an opportunity.   If you are ever in doubt of yourself... stop and hold a 5 minute conversation with a child... it will OPEN your heart and your eyes.   Children see things in such a simple way -- no wonder they are happier than adults!     May 2012 shine brightly upon you with love, prosperity, good health and most of all... happiness.   

Happy New Year!  

Tis' Better to Give than Receive... We Should All Try It.

Wow... it's mid-December.  Where has this year gone?   We are truly in the midst of the holiday season.... with bells, boughs of holly and all of the fa-la-la we can tolerate... ready or not... it is upon us.   It is the season of giving... and we all know that it is better to give than receive.   I've thought a lot about that phrase over the last week and thought what a great idea if we all... had that philosophy through-out the entire year.   In our personal and professional lives... tis' better to give than receive ... what might happen?

Would we be more productive?  Would we engage our customers or clients more?  Would networking lead to success for us in other ways?  Would we raise the bar on our own standards?  Would we elevate the quality of our work?  At home, would we be respected more?  Would there be less debates or hearty discussions?  Would there be more quality time?   Would it be reciprocated?

for me... I think the answer to all of these questions would be a hands down YES.   I've often thought that you should always.. give more than you receive.   My own work ethic as well as my personal one is one of ... i know that someone where down the line it will come back to me two-fold.  Maybe I'm naive.  Maybe I'm never going to make it to be a millionaire.  Maybe I'm one of those lost souls who believes you should be the bigger person.   Maybe I think by doing more for my family, friends, work colleagues... that somehow... it will be reciprocated.   Whatever I am... I just know that for myself... giving more than I receive brings great joy and hopefully one day..... great rewards.  As a matter of speaking, it already has..

When you're in a relationship whether personal or business, it's often easy to get very frustrated when one person gives more than the other.  I've often thought at times... that the one not giving as much... should learn from example... and try it.   I've also realized that you can't change everyone and that there are some people who are just selfish.   Selfish?   What I mean is that they put their own needs and wants before others.   I guess there's nothing wrong with that and I am sure that many successful people today have had that same attitude.  More power to them.  If they can live with it... then, guess I can as well.   I just know that for myself... some of my greatest successes have come from giving more than I received.   My life is enriched by the people in it.   The relationships that I have developed over the years are many and each of them has brought something new to my life.   I've also found... that by giving more... I do indeed receive more.

As we continue with the holiday spirit, I hope that we'll all look deep in our hearts and give unto others more than we have before and allow ourselves to truly experience the season of giving.  In your own community, there are friends, neighbors, colleagues who may be struggling or going through a hard time... and you'd never know it.   There are many without homes, food, warm clothing or a kind word.

There are many military families who will be without their loved one this season.  What a great gift of giving to let them know they are not alone and that we all appreciate the sacrifice and love for country that they as a family give so that we may enjoy freedom.   Freedom is truly not free and these men, women and their families are the reason we have it.  

 Often, I've been accused of being too generous, too giving... but is there truly such a thing?     I know that my heart bursts with joy when I have helped another person or gone above and beyond for someone who truly appreciates it.  The magic is in their heartfelt smile or genuine gratitude.  I know that there have been many that I have helped... and regardless of whether or not they gave back the same way, in my heart, I know that I did it out of love or friendship or an act of simple kindness.

We often get caught up in the season of giving... but it is not about the gifts wrapped under the tree or the bows that adorn them.  Christmas is a time for family and friends.  Christmas is a time to give of yourself... but with that in mind, try to do it all year long.

Most importantly, let's not forget the real meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  One of my favorite holiday classics - Charlie Brown Christmas is so meaningful to me because Charles Schulz would not be pressured by the network to take out Linus' passage about the true meaning.  In case you didn't get a chance to view the holiday classic this year,.. here's a link --- just click on it to view...

Linus' explains the true meaning of Christmas   

This season... and all year long,  may you embrace giving more than receiving.   May God Bless Each of You for a safe and joyous season.

Merry Christmas Ya'll.

Dance With the One Who Brung Ya....

Dance with the One Who Brung Ya is a phrase that is very close to my heart, as well as something that I learned very early in life and my career.  It's a message that has served me well through-out the last 27 years and one I'm not likely to forget.   

So... what does it mean?   There's several versions of the quote itself, but the meaning and gist of it is the same in all accounts which boils down to one thing - LOYALTY and a meaning of don't ever forget those who helped you, believed in you , stood beside you and were there for you when nobody else seemed to be.  

We all seek success in different ways and for most of us, we are barreling down many roads before we find the one that leads us where we eventually want to go.  Somewhere along the way, we all had someone or several someone's who brought us to the party, so to speak.   They were the person or person(s) who inspired us; taught us; introduced us to colleagues and friends; included us in their own lives and networking; shared their failures and successes; they motivated us; advised us in ways that we didn't always like; listened to our challenges, ideas and offered a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on; they provided us with support; gave us an honest answer; and most of all they believed in our potential and ability to become successful in our own right.   

Through-out my own career, there have been many people who have helped to shape, mold, support, encourage and be there when the failures came as well as the successes.   In my first "real" career, as a pharmaceutical sales representative for a generic and brand wholesaler, my boss and mentor, used this saying often and meant it.   "Dance with the One Who Brung Ya... because loyalty and relationships are the keys to success."  He drilled it home every opportunity and as I've often said in many of these blogs, I owe him a great deal because he taught me in a way that allowed me to reach my full potential and I have never forgotten who brought me to the party.  He wasn't the easiest boss to work for,  trust me, we disagreed on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was a teacher and he truly wanted his team to succeed.  He knew that if they succeeded, he would succeed.  It's a lesson that I am forever grateful and often reminded of daily.  Through the years we became friends and to this day, when he offers advice, I listen.  

I'm so blessed and fortunate to have established and maintained so many relationships in not one career but two.   I have not forgotten who helped me along the way in both starting with the mentioned former boss in the earlier paragraph to the countless of friends and colleagues who picked me up when I was down, encouraged me, motivated me and most of all believed in me.   Those individuals will always have a very special place in my heart.   The words "thank you" just don't seem adequate at times, but I've always tried to nurture and take care of my relationships because they are fragile and valuable.   

As I've become a manager and even as a friend, I've tried to always keep this phrase close to my heart... but there have been times when I've found myself in situations where I've been on the other side of the coin... and felt that those that I supported, motivated, listened to, helped, encouraged, stood beside and believed in..... forgot and somewhere along the way... left me behind.   Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe my own feelings just got hurt because the time they once had for me, no longer was available or made available......I'm not sure what happened along the way or why things changed.   I just know that from my perspective it seems that as they've grown and found success...  I don't seem as important in their lives anymore.    Time is a valuable gift and when we share it with those we trust, love, respect and care about it allows our relationships to continue to grow.   

It's amazing... in the beginning,  the time, resources and care that we all take when investing in a new relationship, whether business or personal.   Once we are in the relationship and its firmly established, we should make sure that we are not forgetting what got us the relationship in the first place.  

Often, when we get busy and time or care isn't given the same as it once was...and as more success happens,  the relationship begins to crumble IF we don't stop and make time to get back on the right road.   We should all take a good look at the relationships in our lives and ensure that we are treating others as we want to be treated with loyalty, integrity and respect.   We should never forget those who brought us to the dance and most of all... we should never be too busy for them.  What would have happened if they had been too busy for us when we needed them?  What would have happened if they had never helped us?   

To this day... I'm still dancing with the one and others who brung me!  Are YOU?