SIMPLY LIVIN'...

My travels have taken me to some pretty incredible places.  I've eaten some very tasty morsels and imbibed on a few extraordinary concoctions that made me sit up and take notice.   I'm very blessed.   Being from a small town, sometimes, it doesn't take much to entertain or amuse me.   Even when life throws you curve balls you least expect... and you aren't sure what tomorrow will bring... sometimes you find life's purest and simple joys at just the exact moment when you need them.

I knew there would come a time when I would want to write a post about "Simply Livin'... I just thought it would be about something different.  However... it truly fits for this particular post.  Last week, my best friend, Wyn and I took a trip out West.  We've been best friends for 30 years.   We joked about finding a few cowboys and the joys of friendship.   One thing to put into perspective... is that my best friend and I are like night and day.  Complete opposites in just about every way.   The great thing... is we accept each other just as we are and for some amazing reason, it's worked for 30 wonderful years.

My Best Friend of 30 Years.  

Whenever I'm going through anything life changing or altering... she's always there.  Today is no different.  She's been with me through every trial and tribulation that I've experienced as well as the triumphs.    We can go weeks or months without seeing each other... and nothing changes.  It's one of the most blessed friendships I've ever known... because regardless of anything... I know that she's always there... a phone call away and vice versa for her.    So... now, that you understand the dynamics, you'll appreciate the journey.

As we've gotten older, wiser, more mature and all of those adjectives that I believe our age group is now identified with... we truly have learned to appreciate all the great things in life.  In our younger days... we took most things for granted.   So... on this particular journey... we knew we'd laugh, cry, eat, drink and do the one thing that we both never do... simply live.   (The one thing we have in common is we both are workaholics --- I think.)   For me... the journey was during a time when I am facing some personal challenges and she's always there to listen, talk.. put me at ease.

As we arrived at our destination, Phoenix/Scottsdale - the first thing we both noticed was how HOT it was and not a Mississippi hot... this was a dry "hot".  After we found our rental car and got underway.. the first thing that happened... we got lost.  Never fails.  Our GPS (Miss Bertha or whatever her name was... ) was of no help.   Finally, my google maps... had us heading in the general direction of where we wanted to go.   Needless to say... trial and error... we finally found where we were supposed to be.

Mmmm... BACON!  

This trip, we stayed at the JW Marriott Camelback, we discovered Arizona.  Cactus, adobe buildings, desert, sun.... you name it.  We even viewed the mountain which remotely looks like the humps on a camel.  Nice.. right?  Actually, the JW really is a beautiful property and its moderately priced, yet a bit upscale.  I've stayed at pretty much all of the properties in this area... and there are some others that are quite pricey, so for the location, this one is actually a good choice.   Be sure to enjoy dinner at BLT one night.. and order the Grilled Bacon as an appetizer.  Lordy Mercy... there are no words to tell you how delicious this tastes.  Mmmmmmm....mmmm.... Bacon.

Our Cheese & Wine at The Mission.  

One evening, we decided to take a tour of old town Scottsdale where they were having an Art Walk.  We thought we would enlighten our lives with some culture, a little art, maybe buy a trinket or two and enjoy a great meal.   Our driver dropped us off... at the edge of Old Town.   We decided to try out the "hottest" ticket in town for dinner as we were told by at least 3 people ---  A relatively new restaurant called The Mission.   First... we had to find it, so we strolled along looking in a few windows... and noticing that ... there was literally nobody around.   We finally found our destination which was located beside a church... housed in a building that looked exactly like an old Mission.  Once inside... it felt homey, had a great little vibe going and there were a number of people enjoying themselves.   They asked us if we wanted to be seated outside on the back patio... and we couldn't decide if we could fathom the "heat" but we took a chance.   They had a huge fan blowing... and to our surprise, it was really quite charming and pleasant. Long story short... the atmosphere was really nice.  I've had a better meal and wine, but all in all, it was an experience.   I'm not sure it quite lived up to the "rave" reviews that we were given on it, but as I've found out... what suits my palate, may not be what suits someone else's.

Appreciating Art!  

Now.. for some art.  We walked the streets (still with very few people) and began to wonder if we were given the wrong date.  We finally stumbled across the first gallery that was open... and as most Mississippians would do... we walked in like we owned the place.   As we began to walk around, taking in the various paintings and sculptures, my friend found one that drew her attention.  She was quietly observing it saying how great that would look in her living room... blah, blah.. blah... when I broke her bubble... I had noticed the price... a cool $15k and gave her this important tid-bit of information.   All she could do.. was say... Does the frame come with it?   Cue... laughter hysterically.

The Rusty Spur 

We quickly realized that this ArtWalk was for the serious inquiries only and not those who were just passing some time... enjoying a few sites.      So, we wandered along, viewing pieces here and there... and laughing at our own ability to realize that we would not be taking home a piece of art.    After all of this... we had built up quite the thirst, so we headed for The Rusty Spur.   We had noticed an ad for it in a book and decided that it looked interesting... and there had to be cowboys there.   What we found... is "home".   We walked in.... and there was a country band playing.  It was small with maybe 10 tables and then the bar.   We found an empty table and sat down.

 Our surprise... we loved the band.  The PsychoBilly Rodeo Band.  (Look them up and The Rusty Spur on Facebook and the Web).  If you're ever in the area... STOP IN... you will be so glad you did.    The other thing we quickly realized is that this little place reminded us of a hang-out we had back home when we were about.. 21.   There were a lot of locals, a few cowboys... and a really great time.   We made some friends, promised we'd be back... and had one of the best times ever.   (Our driver back can verify that... )

Thelma and Louise... 

After discovering that it was National Best Friend Day when we were there, we decided that we would turn this trip into... a Thelma and Louise trip.  Now.. who's Thelma and who's Louise?   For all inquiring minds.... we had to make a few changes.. first... Wyn is a few years older than me... but... she's not the WILD one... so... with that being the only difference, you can figure it out from there.  Our next goal was to find our Brad Pitt.... you'll just have to keep reading.  Just remember Louise's line from the movie...

"You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya? " " I may be an outlaw, darlin', but you're the one stealin' my heart".  

Like I said... regardless of what you're going through in life... you always find ways to laugh and enjoy life.   We decided that we would take a drive.... a rather long one it seems.  We ended up... at the Grand Canyon.   If anyone tells you it's not that far from Phoenix... let me verify for you that it's 3 1/2 hours... at least.  If you've never been in a car with me... especially that long... you'll understand... the pain that Wyn endured.     Once we got there... there was something so overwhelming and peaceful about the awe inspiring beauty... that the drive was forgotten.   It was absolutely breath-taking.   A picture does not do it justice... it's something that everyone needs to see for themselves.

Spa... can you say... AHHHH.   One thing I will tell you.. is that the JW has the Spa thing going on.   We decided to treat ourselves to some much needed pampering.    We both decided on two treatments each and found that we should have just booked an entire day.   I had a hot stone massage and a facial while Wyn enjoyed a body scrub and a massage.   Now.. those of you who know me... know that I could never do a body scrub after my experience at the Arlington in Hot Springs... but Wyn... bring it.  The hot stone massage was one of the best I've ever experienced and I've had a lot of them through the years.   It was relaxing and with all of my health issues and stress... it seemed to help everything that ailed me.  I found an hour of peace.  Wyn said the scrub was just the same.   She met a lady who lives in the area and said that she's been to all the spa's in the area, but loves the JW and keeps coming back here for treatments.   Same with the facial .... it was relaxing and the seaweed mask... ice cold going on... but the effects of it... amazing.

We also found our way to The Buffalo Chip.   This is another cowboy saloon that's located in Cave Creek.  We were meeting my cousin for dinner and one of his friends owns it.  It's quite the drive (30 minutes or so) from Scottsdale, but it's a cute place.   Plenty of cowboys and cowgirls twirling around the dance floor doing the Western dances that I thought were long forgotten.   Just for the record... we did get asked to dance... more than once.   One guy almost pulled my arm out of socket.   It still hurts.

All in all.... this trip proved to be something we both needed for different reasons.   Our last night, we decided to go back to Old Town and enjoy some Italian food.  We found a cute little place "Italian Grotto" right in the middle of town... that has the best dessert I've ever eaten.   Shut My Mouth yummy.   Oh, the italian wasn't bad, either.  We ended our trip... back at The Rusty Spur... and yes... we found our cowboy and a few Brazilians too.

We laughed.  We cried.  We ate and drank... and saw things we'll never forget.  Most of all... we celebrated 30 years of friendship and being there for each other... thick, thin, good health and bad... a shoulder to cry on... and a hug when you need it.    Life... is simply livin' especially when faced with challenges of the unknown... it's good to know that you've got someone you can always count on right beside you.   Thelma and Louise... ain't got nothing on us.   We came, saw and conquered... in other words... we SIMPLY LIVED.

Work Hard. Play Hard.

Work Hard.  Play Hard.   I have used this phrase many times during the course of my career and as I've gotten older, I have truly come to appreciate exactly what it means.  Seems the older you get... the harder to recover from the playing hard, though.    Relaxing is not an easy task for me, but I do enjoy a good book, traveling and from time to time, I'll find a television program that I really get into and make sure that I have my auto-tune set for each week.   I'm a huge NCIS fan and it's the one program that I can honestly say that I watch every single week.   Now... my family... on the other hand... they have a whole list of shows that have quickly become their favorites.  

Lately, my family (aka... the Clampetts) have become immersed in a show called Duck Dynasty.  Most of the time, I just ignore their television obsessions and go on about my business because normally, I am not really "into" the shows that they watch anyway and as I keep telling them... we could be a reality show in our own right.   

So... the first few times that I watched "Duck Dynasty" I was confused with the show itself and the characters,  but after a few episodes, the madness set in and now, I am obsessed right along with the rest of my family.   The unique thing about this television show is that it's so unexpected with the "wisdom" and "tactical lessons" that are somehow conveyed,  but its fresh and quite hysterical.  Duck Dynasty is a program that is about a family located in Louisiana who have a family business of making "duck calls".   Duck Commander  has brought them a great deal of wealth apparently,  yet they have not lost their heritage or distinct personalities.  From the parents and uncle, to the siblings... it's non-stop comedy and the "quotes" are what ratings are made for on these shows.   I have found myself laughing out loud and almost rolling in the floor with some of the sayings that have come off this show.    I don't believe that you can fake the "genuine" that each of these characters comes across with on screen.    What has surprised me the most is that I find myself somehow relating to this family.  After watching the episode where they all pile in the Rv...  My daughter made the comment, "this is our family with beards!!!"   Somehow... I truly believe she could be right and that was quite scary in itself.  

Work Hard.  Play Hard.  I guess these days... my "play hard" is being glued to a television and watching the crazy adventures as they play out on this latest craze.  Will Duck Dynasty surpass Survivor, American Idol or any of the other obsessions?  I don't know.. but for now... it's just hysterical fun.   

Duck Dynasty has created a great diversion from the daily routine of stress, problems and whatever else may come along through-out the day.  If you listen really close at the end of the show... you might just find that the life lesson they are offering... is one to accept.    

Some of my favorite "quotes and life lessons". 

• "first.. it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns.  Next thing you know, you're shavin' your beard and wearin' capri pants".  (si) 
• "in the south, roadkill is a redneck's paycheck" (jase) 
• "Rv for us stands for Redneck Vacation".  (jase) 
• "if you don't give them first base, they'll just go to a whole new ballpark" (jase) 
• "you can always turn water into wine... if you are Jesus.  Last time I looked, your name was Wille" (jase) 
• "your arms are as white and fluffy as an egg white" (si) 
• "life was good back in the 60's.. people were happy happy... happy happy happy" (phil) 
• "let me tell you about redneck logic... just blow it up!  He'll be so enamored with fire, he'll forget what he's losin".  (willie) 

Letting GO on a Raft with Huckleberry Finn

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.  ~Mark Twain

Mark Twain was a literary genius and one of my favorite authors.  I've lived vicariously through his writings and specifically the adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn more than once.   I've also adapted many of his quotes as my daily mantra to help get me through some of life's challenging moments.  He truly had the gift of pen and wisdom.  

I selected this quote because one of my on-going dilemmas in life is that I worry too much.  I'm one of those individuals who has a hard time letting go,  ( how many times have I already mentioned this in previous posts),  not stressing and just relaxing.  I've gone through all of the techniques and still... it's an on-going battle every single day to keep the worry at bay.  I'm still relatively young... yes, I have gone through 4 mid-life crisis that I can count... but, in my mind and heart... I'm still very young.... so why am I worrying?  


Worrying affects your daily life and your relationships.    I believe that it is one of the contributors to destroying being happy and it also is a complete waste of time.   Yes, I am saying those words.. yet, I know that it won't stop me from doing the very thing... that I'm trying so hard NOT to do.  Does that sound remotely familiar?   I have a few friends who know me well... and they have no problem calling me out when I am obsessing over something.   To them... I say, THANK YOU for caring about me enough to say... just that.... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  

It's quite frustrating but most of all, it's exhausting.   I've read many articles, other blogs and tried numerous self help techniques to free myself of this burden.   One article suggested that worrying comes from living in the past or.. living in the future.    First, we can't change the past, so ... in hindsight, we shouldn't dwell on it.  We can only learn from it... move forward with a positive frame of mind... and try not to make the same mistakes.  Right?  Right.   Again.... I am saying all of this out loud!  Second... we can't predict or control the future.   Tomorrow may never come, so why not... enjoy today for every moment we are blessed to have on this earth.   I've heard many say that they grew old and knew many many troubles in their life... but most of them never really even happened.   I sit here and realize... that's going to be me.   


You're probably reading this... thinking... she's really positive and has had such a blessed life and career(s).  You're right... I have and I am very grateful.  I don't just worry about the big stuff... I worry about the small stuff... the medium stuff... and all the stuff in between.   I've tried to sort out... that I should only worry about certain things... or I should only worry when it gets to a certain point... ARE YOU EXHAUSTED yet?   The truth is... we shouldn't worry about anything.   There is nothing in this life that happens to us that we aren't strong enough to handle or have the faith to know that an answer will present itself.  There are always solutions to any problem, situation or question.  


So... if I'm saying all of this... I should be able to solve it, right?  Well, the truth is... I am working on it.  Daily.   I know that I can't control everything in life.  I can only control my reactions to what happens in life.  It's up to me to choose when to react and when to just bite my tongue into and say nothing.   I've read a few articles that will tell you that sometimes you become trapped or locked in your own thoughts of worry and fear, that you, really do see the worst happening.   


It's easy to blame somebody else for your unhappiness, but... the truth is... we are all responsible for our own happiness.  It is up to "me" to determine my course or path in life.  If life hands me lemons... whether I make lemonade is "my" choice.   I think far too often, we all get caught up with the... "woe, is me" syndrome and it takes somebody close to us to make us realize... GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  


Happiness is right in front of our eyes... in many shapes or forms.   We don't have to receive anything to be happy.   Sometimes, we get caught up in the mind-set that we need "stuff" to be happy.   I've heard so many of my friends say... if I had money, or a better job, or if I got a tummy tuck... etc.   Reality is.. none of that brings forth happiness.   If we are happy, then worrying seems to take less of a priority.  I know that this works because there are days when I will wake up and say.... "today will be a happy day" and power of positive thinking... it is.   I do believe that when we are happy, things have a way of working themselves out and good things tend to happen to us.   


So... worrying.  How do you stop?  Well, here lately, I am trying a couple of new things that seem to be helping more and more each day.    I bought a small notebook that I keep in my purse... and every day, I start a "worry list".  I write down all the things that I am worried about at that moment and add to it as the day goes along.   This has helped me to know.. that by putting them on paper... I've dealt with them.  They are down on the paper... and so , I can tuck them away.   (I'm still new at this one.... but it does seem to be helping.) 


Second... I am trying to "de-clutter and de-stress" my rituals and life.  What?  Well, for example... last week I was traveling... and I never check a bag anymore because of the hassles or fear of losing the bag.  The stress of having to pack everything in a small bag was ... well, stressful.  (I mean, a girl has to have her shoes, right?)   This past trip, I checked my bag and wrote on my list... "if my bag gets lost.... what's the worst that can happen?  I will have to go buy clothes and a toothbrush."   


Thirdly, taking time each and every day to find something to be happy about that cost absolutely nothing.  Today... it was the trees.  I sat for about an hour under a huge oak that I have and thought... how beautiful this tree is and how sturdy and strong.   The more I examined and appreciated the tree, my mood and disposition became cheerful and happy inside.   


Fourthly, I've made a firm commitment to stop worrying, be happy and just let the chips fall where they may.   Yes, I've made the commitment before... and little by little... I am making progress.   I am trying to stop myself... before the worry takes control and evolves into something bigger.  I don't always win... at this task, but... I can keep trying until I get it right.   If I can do it... anybody can do it.  


Lastly, I've always considered myself a giving and generous person and I want to continue being that person.   I know that giving and being generous can be something as simple as a kind word, a thank you, a gesture to help by giving of yourself.   A friend of mine recently posted something on their facebook page that really hit home with me:  "Be the type of person who goes the extra mile... NOT just the extra block."  Wow!  Isn't that something to ponder?   


So... back to my original thoughts and kudos to Mark Twain... who for now... will help me with my worries and stress, by taking me on a raft or down a river... to another time and place... where I have NO worries.  I have NO plans.  I have nothing but time to enjoy... word after word... page after page... of a literary genius at his best.   

"It's lovely to live on a raft.  We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened."  The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,  Mark Twain

The Masters... Beyond Expectations!

Every now and then, you truly feel that you're experiencing something so special that you have "goosies" aka... goosebumps.   For me, that experience was last week in Augusta, Georgia.   I'm not quite sure that the words I pen here will even be adequate to describe it or give justice to the entire experience.  The Masters definitely lives up and far exceeds any expectations I ever envisioned.   Augusta comes alive during that week with true southern hospitality in many ways.  If there was any disappointment, it would be in the choice of hotels, but.. even that couldn't dampen my spirits too long.

I've always enjoyed golf and have been known in my "younger" days to even have picked up a club and "tapped" a ball or two.   I've been known to put together some pretty fabulous golf outings for colleagues and for me, I love riding the course and enjoying the day with my fellow friends who play the sport so well.  Last week, my love of the sport was elevated in ways I could not even imagine.

Since I had never been to the Masters, I didn't really know what to expect.  I was a little confused about the whole operation of how you picked up tickets, got in, etc.    I have some friends in the industry who are "pros" and with their guidance, I was quickly immersed in all the excitement.    The one thing that really blew me away... no cell phones allowed inside Augusta National and cameras were only allowed on the practice days.   How could I possibly go without a cell phone?  Guess what... it was quite liberating.

The first event that took me by surprise was the final practice round and par 3 tourney.   As we walked inside, I was overwhelmed by the crowd, the beauty and just the fact that I was standing inside Augusta National during the Masters.  Yep... Goosies... All over the place.  

Walking the course, you realize that television does not do justice to the beauty and magnitude of this tourney.  Yes, those commercials do a great job of describing it.. but it's so much more than that.  The Par 3 tourney really gives you an insight as to how many people are inside those gates.  Wow!  This day really gives you a glimpse of the golfers, their families and personalities.  I loved watching them engage with the crowds.

The tournament, itself is a whole other story, but in a very good way.   On Wednesday, I had decided that my golfers were going to be Fred Couples, Bubba Watson, Phil Mickelson and Sergio Garcia.   You're probably saying... yeah, right, but it's true... I really decided that early that those were going to be "my guys" to follow.  

On Friday...it was extremely cold in the morning and I quickly donned about 5 layers because there was no way, I was missing one second of this experience.   The first moving day as I was told.. I was so blown away by my friends process of watching the Masters.... it truly gave me an experience that I won't forget.   The experience started by getting up at ... ummm... 5:45 in the morning, so we could be up and at it by 6:40 a.m.  --- YES... I was on time!   After getting our badges, coffee, we were off and running.  I quickly learned that one of the secrets to the Masters is to get there early on tournament days, get your chairs placed where you want to end up... and go enjoy the course until it's time to come back to your final spot.   We started at the 1st and 2nd holes watching the first several groups.   Then we moved to #4 where we sat and watched for quite a while.. it was here, that I decided that my picks were definitely going to be good ones, although Phil was having a rough day on Friday.  

From #4, we moved to Amens Corner and the sun came out and life was great.  What a fantastic view and vantage point.  You can see the end of #11, watch #12 entirely and see them tee off of #13.  I was hooked... and knew that I would definitely be back.  After eating the "traditional" Masters sandwich and having a few beverages, we strolled over to #15 and #16 before finally making our way up the hill to #18 where our chairs readily awaited our arrival.  We were right behind the pin on #18 and honestly... it was here that I finally realized how "surreal" this whole experience was for me.  i looked around and saw the crowd, the television crews, the golfers as they came up on the green and I knew that I had a huge check mark on my bucket list.

I felt overwhelmed, a sense of gratitude, humbled and extremely excited to be able to experience this. I really have had a blessed life of opportunities and experiences and am so grateful to my colleagues who include me in these.   I would say to anyone who has an opportunity to go... don't pass it up.  For me, I will have these dates on my calendar counting down the days until next year.  (And just so you know... I predicted that Bubba Watson would be wearing a green jacket at the end of the day.. ) For my first Masters experience, it could not have turned out better to have him win it.  He's from the SEC, an alum of Georgia, a true Southern guy, very humble and I loved the way he played the game and the fact that he looks really good in all white... was definitely a perk in picking him.  

Until 2013... Congratulations Bubba and thanks to my dear friends who showed me a whole new world.  Birdie, Eagle, Bogey, Double... I'm ready for the next one!  FORE!

Let US Finish Our Dinner... Please.

Well... I am on a rant for this post.    I've waited almost a week before writing this blog and I'm still upset about the topic.  I have always been an advocate for customer service and in my own professional relationships have tried to treat others as I've wanted to be treated.  This past week... I had an experience that... well... honestly, it left me embarrassed, baffled but most of all... losing faith in the industry where I make a living.   Maybe losing faith is the wrong term... but it reminded me that no matter how hard we try, there is always improvement for training and making sure that customers are first priority.

Restaurants, bars, hotels... are all in the business of making money.   They are also in the business of ensuring that they provide a great experience so that their customers will become "repeat" customers as well as the greatest source of referrals.   I have traveled all over the country, eaten at a ton of restaurants and experienced many amazing opportunities.  This past week... was the low of low's.  The sad thing.. it occurred at one of my favorite restaurants -- or it was one of my favorites.   Right now.. I honestly don't know what my feelings are except, it will be awhile before I make a return visit.

So, you're probably wondering what could have been so bad?  The meat was undercooked and had to be sent back?  They forgot your dessert?  The glassware was dirty?   The wine cork crumbled?  They sat you near the service bar?   No.. unfortunately,  any of those things could have been fixed quickly.

I was dining with a group of friends, who are all in the hospitality industry.  Everyone at my table was somebody in an executive position.   In other words, the group was made up of people who know all about customer service in their own respective capacity.   Needless to say, this group knows great restaurants, so.. I had hoped this would become one of their favorites too.    We enjoyed some great appetizers, nice wine and our entrees were delicious.   Our waiter was attentive and actually, went above and beyond in many respects.   We were all were having a great time.  We made friends with some of the tables nearby and were sharing a few toasts with them.  It was a great night.   Nobody was out of control and nobody had over indulged.    We were in the process of having our coffee and finishing our dessert, when the check was presented.    No worries there, that's usually when they bring it.  The bill was paid and we sat there lingering over our coffee and finishing our conversation when the unthinkable happened... the "floor" manager came over to our table and asked us if we could leave because people were waiting who were hungry.   GASP!   In all my years... I have never ever been asked to leave, especially after paying a bill as large as ours that night.   In fact, I've been on the other end.. where I was the person waiting to be seated and they told me that there was nothing that could be done until the party left.

It was embarrassing, but most of all, it angered my fellow diners.  One of my friends,  who is very esteemed in the industry was so upset that he asked to see the general manager.  I was simply in shock.  I was hurt and embarrassed because the reality is... if they had just let us finish our coffee, we probably would have been up in 15 minutes or less.  Now... they took a group of 8, who are in the industry,  and honestly, it's doubtful if we will ever get over this.    This doesn't suggest that it's okay to do it to anyone who's not in the industry... I think it's just WRONG, period.  

I walked out of the restaurant very upset and in shock.  My friends, however, were so angry that they met with the general manager.  He later came out to talk to me and apologized.  He told me that the "floor" manager was new and that it should have never happened.   He also told me that he was taking care of our dinner and that he would make this right.   At this point... I began to calm down enough to really take a deep breath.  The manager clearly saw how upset that this had made me and my group.   He asked what could he do at this point and I told him that first the "floor manager" owed us an apology.

He told me that could be arranged and took me to the back where the guy came back and apologized. I asked him if he asked any other tables to leave and he said yes.  I asked him their response and he said that they were upset.   Now... I guess the question that bears asking... Was it worth it?  Was it worth losing 2 or 3 large groups who probably would have sent more business to the restaurant just to seat more groups 10 minutes sooner than they would have been seated?

As I reflect on the actions of this one person, I realize that he tarnished my image of this restaurant.   I've been there many times before and always had a great time and experience which is why, I kept going back and taking people.   It's one of the restaurants that I always refer people to ... every single time.  Now.. I find myself pondering whether I will honestly ever be able to do that again.  The general manager did his job and tried to make things right.  The very next day, the waiter, personally emailed two of my friends, who had given him their cards,  but, it still was one of those incidents that probably cost them business in the future.    As for the "floor" manager, he never even asked my name or for my card... which to me.. showed me, he didn't really care at all.   As this happened, I found myself asking how many other individuals have experienced this type of "poor" customer service?

I guess... we all learned a valuable lesson that night.   For me, I learned that mistakes can be costly and that we should all be mindful that even the most innocent gestures without thinking can cost us customers.  I'm sure that the "floor" manager learned several lessons that night... if he still has a job.  Then again, maybe he didn't think it was that big of a deal.

I'll Take the HIGH ROAD and Keep My Integrity!

Have you ever been faced with the temptation to "fight fire with fire"?   Have you ever been in a situation...  that no matter how positive you are.. the outlook seems bleak?  More often, both in our personal and professional lives we all encounter something that seems to get the best of us.   We've all been tempted to strike before thinking.  I know, for myself,  I have been there.  I've re-acted without thinking.  Then...  there have been several situations where taking the high road definitely worked out much better.

I've always considered myself a positive person.  I've always tried to look for the good.  I want to find the silver lining in all things.   I've always wanted to surround myself with successful and genuine people, who really love life and look at the bright side of things.    

Maybe... I am one of those people who looks at the world through rose colored glasses.  Maybe... I do believe in fairytales and that dreams can and will come true.  

Yes... there have been things that have gotten me down... and I truly mean, way down and yes... I am talking about personally and professionally.    There have been times when I've felt hopeless, depressed and just plain negative.  In other words, I was HORRIBLE to be around.   I'm human... but, deep down, the reality is.. that's not me.   In these situations,  I wasn't sure, I could bounce back, but somehow, I always found a way to pull myself out of the slump.    I looked beyond the surface to find something positive that helped me put the perspective back in things.  Basically, I chose at that moment to take the high road.  It's not easy to always stay on course,  and most of the time.... finding and taking the high road challenges your very being.    

Yes... it would be easy to take the low road in a lot of situations.  It's quite tempting at times... to just simply strike back and re-act without a care or thought.    It would offer instant satisfaction but long- term harm.   By taking the low road... we create chaos in our lives,  along with regret, negativity and most of all a self induced infliction of stress and worry.   I think more often than not, in our personal lives... we give in to temptation more often than we should.  I know.. that I do.  I work on it every single day when I'm faced with something that upsets me or causes me hurt.  Professionally, I fare much better... 

I think in business... there is no choice.  Taking the high road in business is ALWAYS the best choice.  It's not the easiest choice  to live with on a daily basis .... but sometimes, you have to be the better and bigger person or.....company.   There have been many situations where taking the high road has served me well especially in recent years.    I think for me, I've learned,  that I truly value myself and my reputation.  I  want to be credible, professional and most of all respected.  I don't want to lose my integrity by sinking to the level of others.   There are many who choose the low road in business and sadly, they de-value their company, their brand, other's perception of themselves but most of all, they de-value themselves.  

Every day, we are all faced with choices.  We should all stay truer to the course.  Someone said to me recently,  in the end, worrying and stressing will not change the outcome.  I've thought about this...and yes, it's true, it won't.  I'm one of those who worries about everything so for me... this definitely feels alien.  If somebody close to me is struggling with decisions... I'm struggling right along with them.   If they are faced with difficult decisions... I'm right there with them.   Life does not come without bumps in the road.   Bumps can be in the form of inappropriate behavior of individuals who for whatever reason... don't realize....  that is exactly what they are to us... simply bumps.  It's our choice whether to go over them or around them.   It's our choice whether to flatten them.  For me... my dignity and integrity will always be placed first in these situations.  My credibility and reputation are what matters the most... not allowing a person or situation to get the best of me... especially to the point... where I get on "their" road.

Life is a series of trials, tribulations and triumphs.  We are all faced with maintaining our integrity and credibility, especially the more successful we become in our careers.  Many times... we may be asked to compromise our beliefs and principles.   We will battle the trials and tribulations and we will enjoy the triumphs.   The true triumphs are those where we stand up for our principles and keep our integrity, regardless of those around us.  

"The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded." Scott Hamilton

According to John C. Maxwell there are three roads that we can take in life:  

1. The low road – where we treat people worse than they treat us
2. The middle road – where we treat people the same as they treat us
3. The high road – where we treat people better than they treat us

  

Disappointed? Just Keep Pedaling!

"If I am to meet with a disappointment, the sooner I know it, the more of life I shall have to wear it off."

THOMAS JEFFERSON

At one time or another, we've all had disappointments in our lives, but especially, in business.  Sometimes the disappointment is almost too much to bear and it leads to anger and emotions running high.   Disappointment comes in all forms:  Losing a customer; not getting credit for work done; an employee quitting; not getting a raise you felt you deserved.  The list is endless and on a daily basis... someone is disappointed.  It's just part of life.  We can't ignore it.  We can't prevent it.  We can't go around it or under it.   The only way to get through it is to learn to deal with it in a positive manner.  

Sometimes, I think... that when it comes to being disappointed, if you're someone who gets their feathers ruffled and your anger up... you have the upper hand.   Why?  Personally, I think the emotions and anger drive you to the point where you refuse to give up.   I think I may have described myself to some extent.  I know that I have been disappointed many times... and each time... I'm propelled to not settle, to not be defeated or to give up.   Sometimes... it propels me to just get back in the game and to keep trying.  Most successful people that I have encountered will tell you that it took a great many disappointments before they found success.   

I realized many years ago that..... sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment.   We set the bar so high... that the only result can be failure.  If we expect too much...and things don't work out as we planned, our disappointment is far greater.  I am the world's worst at putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on myself when it comes to my own expectations.   I'm my own worst enemy.  I've learned through the years and through trial and error that sometimes it's better to have a well thought out plan with an alternate form of action in the event that things go wary.   We can't always control everything, but, if we think through our process and have a plan B, as I like to call it, then, we can control the magnitude of disappointment that we experience.   Someone once said to me, disappointment goes hand-in-hand with expectation. 

Many times I have been extremely confident only to be let down.  Through-out my own career, I've endured many levels of disappointment.  Some are just minor... blips in the road.   Some have been major that actually got me down in ways that I never knew existed.  Sometimes these types of disappointments get us down to the point of giving up and quitting.  We feel we've been pushed to the brink.  Sometimes... we look for somebody else to blame so we don't have to face ourselves in the mirror.   Disappointment can be mentally exhausting as well as emotionally.  Disappointment can linger and affect our daily lives leading to a lower self worth and taking away our ambition.  It takes a strong person... to get back up and keep plowing ahead.   It takes a determined person to know and to keep reminding themselves that ... even if we fall off our bike... the only solution is to simply... get back on it.  Remember that phrase... just keep swimming... well, in this case, just keep pedaling!    Sometimes... it takes a friend or someone who loves us... to gently nudge us back on the bike.  

The longer we let disappointment control us, the harder it is to get back on the bike.  By the time, we try to attempt to get back on, we are filled with bitterness and anger.   

There's nobody that's exactly alike when it comes to dealing with problems or disappointments.   For me, I need to talk through things.   I need to understand... why they happened so that somehow, I learn from it.   Sometimes, reliving it hurts, but it also helps to cleanse away the negative feelings.  It also helps me to analyze what went wrong.  I've been told on numerous occasions that I over-analyze everything.  I think too much.   It's a true statement and there are many times, when I need to lighten up.  I also know.. that I would not have had the many successes that I have had if it had not been for this.  I think that my way of dealing with it... allows me to make mental notes of what not to do next time.  

I've also learned that it's okay to tell my family, friends, colleagues that I'm disappointed.  I am still learning not to dwell on the disappointments or allow them to affect my ability to move forward.   Honestly, I believe that task is on-going and always challenging.  It's easy to fall backwards... much harder to keep moving forward.  

There comes a point when we have to just let the disappointment go.  If we allow it to stay and fester, its only going to affect everything else in our lives.   I know this first hand.   I've also learned that when we get knocked down... we may need a shoulder to lean on or a comforting hand to hold and in personal situations... I think this is acceptable, but, at the same time, in business... if you're a good leader.. you can't feel sorry for yourself. 

Along the way... as we grow older and wiser, I think we also become more realistic in our expectations and our disappointments become less.   They still happen, but, I think we are better prepared to handle them and the situations.   I still struggle with disappointment.   It's been my achilles heel for as long as I can remember.   It's something that has gotten me down when I least expected it.   I've endured personal disappointments and professional ones.   Neither is easy and it will always be part of our lives.   Success happens when we find the ability to get back up after being knocked down.   For me... my bumps and bruises are long and lengthy... but, I wake up every day, getting back up for the next ride.  

"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way."  Robert Kiyosaki

"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."   Beverly Sills