Simply Livin' - My Best of the Best!

I've had a lot of people ask me about my Simply Livin' list that is located on my blog page.   It's my personal "best of the best" list and each time I find a new gem or something that just blows me away, it gets added to my list.  Last week I was in a conversation with some really good friends and we were discussing this list of mine.   Many wanted to know how I choose what goes on my list, why it's there, and so on... so, this week, I thought I would expand on a few of my personal "Simply Livin'" things.  There's no way, I can blog about all of them or we'd really be here... all day.  So... I've selected some of the highlights and the way I look at it,  I guess it's a take off of Oprah's favorite things.... with the only difference being... I do not have that kind of power!  (Go figure... I mean, we are both from Mississippi, right?)

First, let me say thank you again to everyone who clicks and takes time to read,  each time I post a blog.  I just surpassed 2000 reads and I am thrilled!  When I decided to write this blog, I wasn't sure I would have 10 people who would be interested in what I might write about... so needless to say, I am quite humbled.  Also... saying a special thanks that my friends came out okay in the Northeast.  I was glued to the weather channel waiting on news.

Now... let's get to it.  Simply Livin!  First, the name for my list came about because as I was off on one of my adventures... I realized that life is so precious and short and that we need to grasp it.   Therefore, my list came to life... because I believe in "simply livin" day to day!

The first thing on my list is the nickname for my family.  "The Clampetts".   I enjoy every moment that I spend with them and there is never a dull moment.  Our nickname came about many years ago... on one of our first trips together... it was like a free-for-all.   You would have thought that we had never been anywhere in our entire lives.    So, if you haven't given your family a nick-name.. you should.  It will make for some great memories!

30-A and Seaside, Seaside, Seaside! - My favorite coastal community, affectionately known, as the Redneck Rivieria.   This unique community takes you back to yesteryear, when time seems to stop.  The beach, music on the lawn, bicycles as the primary mode of transportation, long walks, and just taking time to enjoy the simplicity life has to offer.   There are so many eclectic restaurants, shops and stops along 30-A, there is no way to name the all... it's just worth the trip to stop at every one of them!  (By the way... there was a Jim Carrey movie filmed there... do you know which one it was?)

There are several restaurants on my list and each for different reasons.   Bern's Steakhouse has the absolute dessert experience!  Chef Voila's in Atlantic City would be ranked as my all time favorite epicurean experience in regards to the atmosphere and food. (I really hope they are okay from the hurricane).   Wow!  Geno's Pizza in Chicago... absolutely, hands down the best pizza I have ever eaten!  Best Catfish.... right here locally, for me - Taylor Grocery.   It's been written up in Southern Living and it was also featured on one of the cooking channels.  Fish Bones in Orlando is one of my "must stops" everytime I go.   I love the Chilean Sea Bass there.   Best chain experience for me was at Capital Grille in Las Vegas.   Over the top service overlooking the strip!  New to my list... and definitely in my top 3 - STK at The Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas!  There is something surreal about eating fabulous food and listening to the 80's!  The Bombay Club in New Orleans has the best filet and one of the most extensive martini menu's known on the planet.  TraVigne out in St. Helena, CA is a must stop for their charming patio and their eclectic menu.    Okay... now that you're starving... , what are some of your favorites?

As I've traveled, I have really found some hidden gems across the US as far as hotels.   The Dana Hotel & Spa in Chicago tops the list.   (The showers are worth the price of admission!)   Hotel ZaZa is a new addition... hip, trendy and the next "IT" GIRL of hotel land!  In Las Vegas, The Cosmopolitan and Encore top my list of favorites!   My best luxury experience was at The Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills and my favorite resort would have to be the Ritz Carlton in St. Thomas.  (WOW!).  There are many other properties that have impressed me but sometimes its the overall experience that makes my list.  

Tag Hauer is my favorite watch!  I don't know how I ever survived before I was fortunate to own one, but I absolutely adore mine!

Simply Livin' doesn't get much better than traveling and obviously for me, DISNEYWORLD tops my list.    Hello Mickey!  It's a rule in my family... every 2 years is a must... and for me, personally, I have to go every year!  Just to get my fix!  I am a disney fanatic!  I've stayed at all of the Disney properties and find that I do have a few favorites --- Grand Floridian, Disney's Boardwalk Villas, Wildness Lodge and the new villas at Animal Kingdom.  (Yes... I am worse than the kids!) I actually wrote a whole blog about the Mouse!

For complete grown up time --- Napa Valley... beautiful, peaceful, relaxing and not to mention wine.  Two of my favorite spots for sharing a glass of vino and watching the sunset - Auberge' du Soleil and Solange Calistoga Resort... both located off Silvarado Trail.  It simply does NOT get any better.  Did I mention the wine?  Two recent finds that really impressed me - Raymond Estates Crystal Room - do the DIVINE experience and Rubicon Estates.  Rubicon is one of the most gorgeous properties in the Valley.   My overall favorite tasting - Sawyer.  (They simply do not have one single bad wine!)

One of the best travel trips I've taken was to Savannah, Georgia.   Midnight of Garden and Evil Tour is a MUST.   Eating at The Pink House, another must.   Yum.   Another favorite, Asheville/Blowing Rock in North Carolina. Something special about the Blue Ridge Mountains and make sure you tour the home of the Vanderbilts - The Biltmore.   Best general store in the land - MAST General Store.  

Another simply livin that I cannot live without is my KEURIG.   What a discovery and the best part of waking up... each and every day.  I love the simplicity, ease and all of the different flavors at my fingertips at any given moment of every day.   When I first got mine, they were relatively unknown... now... they are all the rage!

Sports!  I am a sports enthusiast!  Love me some college football, particularly SEC football... and my beloved Ole Miss Rebels.   I love pro football and was estatic when the lock-out finally came to an agreement.  New York Giants, New Orleans Saints are both my faves, although I do find myself pulling for Peyton at times.   MLB Baseball... the Yankees and Cardinals.   I'm not an avid fan of basketball, but find myself watching during the play-offs.

My favorite thing to relax... hot stone massages, which ironically is humorous considering many years ago, my first experience was absolutely terrifying. Just ask my best friend about my time at the Arlington in Hot Springs, AR and Bertha.  I promise it would be great for a laugh or two... probably twenty!  My favorite spa is located in Las Vegas at the Venetian - Canyon Ranch.   I'm also a big fan of Qua at Caesars.  

Another thing on my "Simply Livin" list one of my all time favorite television shows.  I hardly ever really watch tv, but I am 100% addicted to NCIS.   I have watched from day one... and find it to be one of the most compelling shows on television.  Somehow, I find myself relating to all of the characters and even find that some of my friends relate to them as well.   Great television!

I believe that everyone should make a list of all of their favorite things... and relish the memories.  Sharing with others is the best referral you could give.   For me, it simply doesn't get any better than sharing special moments with special people in your life.   I've been blessed to have had that opportunity and each time, I take a deep breath and know that in this moment, I am "SIMPLY LIVIN".

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What First Impression Do You Make?

This week, I'm on a crusade for first impressions.   I guess its' been on my mind since my last plane ride.   There were many times when you sat in first class and the folks around you were very well dressed businessmen and women who actually took time to dress.  Nowadays, I am shocked that some people actually wear some of the things that they do out in public and they are sitting in first class.   Maybe it's not fair to judge a book by it's cover, but, isn't there such a thing as common sense?  

To me, a first impression is the last impression.   I realize that many people don't believe in it while others feel very strongly about it.   I am one of those people who feel that making a good first impression is one way to open doors to opportunities and have long lasting relationships.  I guess I just feel like it's hard to recover from a bad first impression because the image is already built up in your mind.    


When you go out into the world to make your own way, life is an adventure and you never know who you're going to meet or how they may impact your life somewhere down the line. If you go about your daily life without ever caring what you look like or smell like, then in all likelihood, success is not going to cross your path anytime soon.    If you take time each and every day to actually care about your appearance, then chances are you'll be taken a bit more serious and you'll actually feel better about it.   Who knows who the person sitting next to you on the airplane might be?  

Many years ago,  (during my first career), I had conversations with several of my colleagues on first impressions.   At the time, I was doing a number of interviews and honestly, I was shocked at some of the appearances.  What really made it difficult was the fact that those who were applying for positions were more than qualified for the job - so, it was something that I really couldn't comprehend.   I'm not saying that you should go out and spend boo-koodles of dollars on something new every time you have an interview or important event, but what I am saying, is that in my personal opinion - taking time to be groomed, pressed clothing and making the effort goes a long way.

Traveling can be tiring and I certainly understand the need to be comfortable, but in today's society, you can actually dress up jeans.   You don't have to look like you just rolled out of bed and never picked up the comb.   (And yes, I am one of those people who is afraid to go out running errands without getting fully dressed because I'm worried of who's going to see me. )  Yes, I have done it and every time, I run into someone and feel so embarrassed that I have on my favorite run-down t-shirt and such.

In business, I have found that when you are dressed and groomed, you are taken more seriously.   I know that clothes don't define a person, but again, if you lose them with the first impression, you aren't likely to gain them back, regardless of how good you are at what you do.   I have always found that by putting my best foot forward in every meeting has allowed me the opportunity to let people get to know me and it made developing a relationship easier.   I recently read an article where experts were saying  that when you go in a meeting and talk to a new person, within a few seconds of your meeting you have been assessed. This assessment can be even at a glimpse.

Isn't it true of yourself that when you look at people for the  first time, you evaluate their appearance, behaviors,  ways and styles; each and every thing from head to toe.   Aren't you watching  conduct, characteristics, body-gestures and even grooming and outfits?   From  accessories like jewelry, watch, and even their briefcase?

Within a few moments of your first glimpse you have a  long lasting image of the other person.   Either that person has won you over or you may be disheartened.  We live in a much more relaxed society than we once did and with the uncertain economic times, it's easy to get depressed and not care.  I guess the reality is when you stop caring, you are holding your ownself back from success.   Sometimes, when I'm down and don't feel like getting dressed... I know that my whole disposition is different.   We all go through days where we just want to stay in our pj's and spend the day lounging around.  (And isn't that exactly what we do on those days... lounge around?)   Should we take this attitude when we travel?  When we have an important meeting? If nothing else, shouldn't we have some respect for others and just take time to look appropriate? 

I guess I reflect on the people that I have always taken 2 or 3 looks at and thought to myself, wow, they are successful or... to the other spectrum... what on earth were they thinking?   You either have a warm, fuzzy feeling about someone from their first impression or you immediately think, they need to get a life.   (Don't say that you haven't done it... we all have done it!)

Isn't it worth the time and effort each and every day because yes, first impressions do make a difference.    What first impression do you make?   Take a few moments and ponder it, your answer might shock you.  

Are You Stopping to Smell the Roses?

Our lives are passing us by and we aren't brave enough to simply stop... and smell the roses.  We are so busy that we wouldn't recognize the smell of a rose if it slapped us in the face.     We find that 24 hours in a day are just not enough.   Does this sound familiar?  

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my career, my family and most of all my friends.   As I look back over the last 20 something years, I think, where has the time gone?     For many of those years, I confess, that I was a self-made workaholic.   My days were filled with an obsessiveness toward work that I realize now was unhealthy.   I know that those days impacted not only me, but my family and my friends.   Work ruled me. 

I think at one time or another, we have all often questioned whether or not we made the right decisions and wonder how our lives would be different if we had took an alternate route.   I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason, so wherever I end up, I know that is simply how its supposed to be.   As I've gotten older (and hopefully much wiser), I realize that taking time to simply stop and enjoy life was something that I was missing.  Working 24 hours a day is not going to change the outcome regardless of what I had instilled in my brain.  I've tried to change that mentality over the last 3 years because sometimes things happen in our lives that allow us the opportunity to open a window and look out and get a new perspective.    

In today's world of communication, there are so many ways to communicate, but are we still too busy to take the time and do it on a consistent basis?   Are we still too busy to realize that our most important assets are relationships?   I guess I have mellowed as time as passed.   I see the world through different glasses now and know that life is short and that anything can happen.   If someone calls me or texts me, I need to stop.. and respond because it could be the last phone call or text that they send.   We have no way of knowing what will happen next or when our number will be called, but what we do know is that our lives are so much better because of the people in them.

Living life each day to the fullest should be everyone's motto.   There is a place for work, our family and our friends.  It's up to us to make room for all of them.   It takes effort and an understanding that sometimes our days aren't all going to be the same and that we have to adjust and adapt to the changes in them.   We have to remind ourselves that if we don't stop and smell the roses, we are missing out on some of life's greatest pleasures.  

I know it sounds hokey or maybe it sounds unrealistic.   I was once there... in that place where there were no windows or doors.   I felt the world on my shoulders and carried the burden of making it to the top and being successful.  I felt 24 hours simply were not enough time to get all the things done on my task list.  I gave and gave and gave and in the end... I really don't know that it made a difference.   I realized a long time ago, money doesn't buy you happiness and it definitely doesn't define who you are in life.    Once I released the burden of being a workaholic and opened the windows and allowed life to truly get a good look at me, I found a freedom that I embraced.   

I don't want to mislead that I don't still work.  I do.  I definitely work and I work hard.  I still have a tremendous passion for where I want to end up in my career.  I know that I want to enjoy every single thing that I do and I am working toward that goal.    But, now... when my phone rings or I get a text -- I stop and make time for the person on the other end.  I'm now making time to be with friends and share life experiences more and to enjoy the smell of those roses.  My life is healthier now and I'm happier.   I still have challenges (boy, do I have challenges) but, I've pushed those aside and decided to really focus on what's important - my relationships.  

When is the last time you smelled the roses?   Life is short.   You never know,  when, you won't be able to pick up the phone or text and have that person on the other end.     Is it really worth it?  I realize my perspective might be somewhat skewed.  After the loss of both of my parents, within 6 months of each other, I felt empty.  (I still do).  Losing them made me realize that nothing is for certain and you should never take each day we are given on this earth for granted.  Instead, we should embrace it as well as those who are in it with us.   Are you too busy for those you love?

 

Same old dog... a bunch of new tricks!

About a year ago, I posted this blog in another situation.  As I found myself reflecting on new opportunities, I found myself led back to it... and taking time to revise it and re-write it, I found that it still fits everything I am feeling today.    I recently watched the movie, The Company Men starring Ben Affleck, Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones and others.   It hit home in many ways.  It allowed me to take a good hard look at myself and where I want to be... and to reach deep inside to discover what I truly wanted in regards to my career as well as what's really important in life.   It's funny, how at the oddest times, we relate to a movie, a song or book... that moves us to the point of finally taking chances on ourselves.   

How many times have you heard the phrase, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?   When starting on any new journey, whether personal or professional... you always have some apprehension.  Butterflies that seem to appear when you least expect them... although at times, they can be caused from excitement and anticipation.   In my own personal situation, leaving a job 3 years ago that I loved and launching myself into a whole new arena was frightening and yet, I knew at the time, it was definitely the right direction I needed to take.   Sitting here, 3 years later, I absolutely know that it was the right decision.    I knew going into a new situation that there would be areas of expertise that I did not have nor felt I would ever have, but, I also felt that I could gain enough knowledge to learn enough to get by or surround myself with enough people who did have the expertise.   We don't always make the right decisions and when we realize that we have made a bad one, we have to be strong enough to admit it and get back on the right path.   

It can be quite scary embarking on a new adventure.    Where to begin?   How do you find your niche that allows you to become a viable entity in a new market or to continue to be relevant in an industry that you still wanted to be part of - just in a new way.   For me,    as I began the process of launching my consulting company… this old proverb came to mind endless times and … there were days, when I would ask myself could this really be true?  Am I too old to learn something new?   Will I be able to have any success going forward?  The questions were endless.     I thought that I had found the answers a year or so ago... only to discover, that I was wrong.   I was angry with myself for allowing myself to believe in something that did not come to fruition in the way that I had expected or believed.   I realize now, that without risks, we don't learn.  Without learning, we remain the same.   In hindsight, everything happens for a reason and even though the answers I thought I had were wrong, I've learned some valuable insights along the way.   I am still seeking the answers, but feel I am on the right path to gaining them.   

I have found that the answer is simple to the old proverb...…no, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach him alternative ways of doing the ones he already knows.   My journey has allowed me to take the things that I already knew and find a way of adapting and making them work in a new situation.  Sales are sales… no matter what you are selling and my philosophy has always been sell yourself, sell your company and then finally, sell your product.  Marketing is marketing… keep the messaging simple, on target  with your audience and don’t be afraid to try something new.   Relationships are still the most viable way to get things done in any situation, so hold them close and know that they are your most valuable asset.  Being old, doesn't mean being worn out.   I've often heard many who changed careers mid-stream, mid-life say that the first year afterwards was the scariest of their lives.   I absolutely understand that feeling.   I found that what helped me the most was surrounding myself with the right people has made all the difference in the world.   People who know the business or situation you're trying to get into and learning from them and understanding how to take your own area of expertise and apply their knowledge to it can help propel you into a brand new arena with success.     So, with these things that I did know… I’ve taken a step back… and just re-adjusted the them to fit my new arena.   Wherever my path takes me, I know that regardless of how I get there, I'm not too old to try.   I'm not too old to learn and I am certainly not too old to have the enthusiasm and energy needed to create and find success.   

After breaking it down… the journey did not seem nearly as scary and I found that… maybe the old proverb was just a way of providing an excuse for those who don’t want to try.   And for those of you, who like me contemplate change and reaching for your own happiness  - my word of advice is that without taking risk you won't ever know what could be... without dreaming and reaching for the stars, you'll never achieve the one thing that could completely fulfill your life.   At times, I've been afraid and taken the safe route.   I realize now, I was letting myself down by not going for what I truly wanted.   Every day, I become more familiar with my dreams and goals.   I work diligently to stay true to myself and to understand what it is I truly seek.   When, I'm feeling like my time has come and gone,  I take it one step at a time.  I reflect on all the great successes I've had and look forward to those I've yet to meet.   Challenges will come and go, but it's the hunt in finding the perfect one for me that keeps me motivated.  

So next time someone tells me… you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… I think I’ll smile and say… SURE, you can!

Kudos to the Creative Minds of.... what else, DRINKS!

Have you ever walked into a restaurant or bar and felt overwhelmed by the menu choices?   I mean, honestly, some of the drink menus today are pages and pages of incredible sounding recipes that seem to "over stimulate" your mind, body and soul.  Do you feel your palate salivating at the sound of some of the tasty creations?  Have you ever thought about who created those concoctions?   

This past week,  I was one of the many THOUSANDS to attend Tales of the Cocktail, an annual festival that is held in New Orleans every year.  If you haven't heard of it or you haven't been - place it on your calendar!   Every July,  it's a gathering like no other.

Among those attending were not only regular folks like you and me who just love to imbibe, but, the elite de' elite in the hospitality business.  The creators of all of those "tempting drink creations" on menus nationwide - yes, I am referring to the bartenders and mixologists from all across the US.

Whoever thinks that these guys and girls aren't at the top of their game are just WRONG.   I am so impressed every single day by their passion, their intensity, their fun for life, but most of all, their work ethics!  They create, develop, share and most of all, ENJOY every second doing it.  They have elevated the craft of being behind the bar to a completely new level. 

TOTC (shortened version) has become one of the leading festivals in the US, in the hospitality industry, sharing the history of the cocktail, tasting rooms, spirited dinners, networking and friendships, all while being surrounded and embraced by the City of New Orleans.  It simply doesn't get much better.   My hat is completely off to Ann (the founder and aka Mrs. Cocktail) , who has done an amazing job since the very first one.   Next year, they will be celebrating their 10th anniversary and I know that it will be even bigger and better!  Here's the website:   www.talesofthecocktail.com, so please check it out and put it on your radar!   


I'm sure that I am not alone in my dilemma when it comes to ordering cocktails.   I have never been a self professed expert, just someone who enjoys a good one.   I have friends who can look at the menu and immediately determine in their mind which one,  just by the description,   is going to taste fabulous on their palate.   For me, it just isn't that easy, so,when I have an opportunity to converse with the creators, I am  simply in awe.  

In conversations with them, I have really learned so much about ordering and even understanding how to order.  They all agree, that most of the time,  they have a lot of people who come in and don't really know what they want to drink - so it's their job to create something delectable.   What I found is that they do this by simply engaging in conversation and asking a few questions?  Do you like sweet flavors?   Salty?  Are you partial to exotic?    Or sometimes, they say, let me create something for you and if you don't like it, we'll find something else and they work their magic on a drink that they have been given rave reviews for in the past.


I am sure that there are tons of venues across the country with this kind of personal touch and I hope to experience each and every one of them.   I love people and when you run across somebody who shares the same type of passion as you do, it's just a wonderful experience, which is why, this past week, seeing and being around all of these talented and creative individuals had me GIDDY as a school girl.  (We all know how many years ago that was, don't we? )  They are true professionals who believe in their work, share their passion with each and every one of us every single time we go into their establishments and along the way... we've found and made a new friend.  Think about your favorite local hang-out... you go in, they know you by name, know what you like to drink... maybe that Cheers mentality wasn't so bad after all.    

As I've thought about some of my favorite spots and people, I realized that they all had one thing in common - their understanding of the customer experience while also having the ability and talent to create something wonderful.   Its a dynamic combination and every time I see it, I am just as impressed as the time before.  It truly never gets old!   

To all of my friends in this profession and to those I have yet to meet, Cheers to each and every one of you and I really hope to see all of you before next July in New Orleans!

With Heart and Soul...

Every now and then, a project or opportunity comes our way and we feel very passionate about it.  We feel connected to it and give it everything and then some.  We give it ... HEART AND SOUL.    I'm not saying that we don't do every task  or job to the best of our ability.  I think that most of us definitely want success in every way, but I do believe that there are certain projects for whatever reasons, we are compelled to give it 100% plus another 50%.

I think I've written many times, the power of words is tremendous.  The power of two simple ones can make or break someone's attitude and work ethic - thank you.   Many times, when you are given a task... if you are shown no appreciation or gratitude for your efforts, well... you get a little skittish in the "over zealous" department of trying to put forth added effort.  If the people you're working with constantly criticize any efforts that you make... then, you're apt to back-off.  But... then there are those projects when your efforts are praised from start to finish and you give it all you've got.  You give it HEART AND SOUL... and at the end of it, not only are you thrilled, but whoever you are working with is thrilled as well.  

What is the difference in your work?   Is there a difference and is it noticeable?  Absolutely, there is a difference.  You know it and ultimately those you are working with or for, knows it. 


Someone once told me that if you can't believe in what you're doing and grab a hold of it... you'll never be successful at it.   I may not have understood that many years ago, but today, that would be one piece of advice that I would offer to anyone.  Another would be... that  I think you also have to enjoy it.   There is nothing more miserable than doing a job or task that you dread.   (for me... it's like housework...and that is something I definitely dread!)

I also believe that staying positive, especially in an economy and society, when things aren't always looking rosy, we would all be compelled to find our passion and go about all our tasks with heart and soul.   It's not always that easy.. and most of us are just very grateful to even have jobs at the moment, but sometimes... in life, we all have to take a look at the quality and ask ourselves the hard questions - are we truly happy?  

Every day, I TRY to wake up with that attitude and try to implement it in whatever I am doing.  Some days, I accomplish that and then there are those days, when even after all my futile attempts, I know that I just need to get through it as best I can. Trust me, like you, I have been through some very stressful and trying times over the course of my career, and most recently, life has a way of throwing curve balls when you least expect it.   There are days when I really want to pull those covers over my head... and HIDE!  

Through my own stress and difficulties, I have realized that we can't always be everything to everybody, just like we can't always have our "signature passion" on every single project that we do, but for those that we are able to connect to and really feel part of... we should take those and put them up like badges.   They may be few and far between, but there is no greater joy than doing a job you enjoy and love to do... and being successful at it. 

I've often wondered if the founder of facebook, twitter, or even foursquare... if they pursued their projects with heart and soul... and the outcome was multiplied in thousands?  What about Bill Gates?   Warren Buffet?   Steve Jobs?   Did they put their heart and soul into their respective projects to gain their successes?

I guess my own theory is that it only takes one project with all your heart and soul to take hold and steer our lives down a path that we never dreamed.

It takes one idea... one heart... and one soul.  (Now, that's something to ponder over, isn't it? )

Be Gold, Not Tin.

What's more precious: a nugget of gold or a wad of tin?

Be gold. Make yourself rare and desirable through hard work and smart self-branding. Soon people will agree that you're priceless.

 

When I ran across this in an article I was reading, it was vaguely familiar.   It pulled at the heartstrings because it wasn't so long ago (okay...not quite a decade ago)... that I questioned my own value.  I've never thought about it in the workplace until some years ago... somebody said to me, "everyone can be replaced".  "There is nobody who is irreplaceable."  These comments not only made me sick to my stomach, they angered me.  

For me, this was an impossible concept to have someone say this to me.  For those who know me, know that I am passionate about my work.  I felt depleted after these remarks.    After all, the purpose of becoming good at what you do, is so you have value...value that allows you to have security and stability, so that you can't be easily replaced and that your presence means something to a company.   I guess I relate this to a specialist who goes to school and training for years to become an "expert" in their field... if they had no value or were replaceable, then why bother in the first place.  Right? 

I've thought about this conversation many times and each time, I find that it irritates me more and more.   As a manager, employer or leader - it's our responsibility to empower people to find their value and to hone it.  It's also our responsibility to recognize it and reward it.  

Do you know what your value is in your company?   Often, more times than not, I have been one of these people who really worked hard to do a great job and the reward came when I saw the end result.  (at least in my mind... that's what I thought.)   I never really thought about the financial aspect of it... until, this comment was made to me.     We've all learned lessons along life's job highway.   We've all had jobs we loved and probably a few that we didn't.    We've all been given opportunities to showcase our talents so that we could shine and for most of us, we are extremely grateful for those opportunities.  Isn't the old saying that one opportunity leads to another?    In most cases, I am pretty sure that for me, I felt I had to exceed expectations to earn my way.  I felt that going above and beyond would help me to climb the ladder and achieve success.
 
I've learned that there are some who will take advantage of whatever you're willing to give without even acknowledging it.  Actually, they grow to expect it or even demand it.   (For the record, this is NOT behavior that is acceptable).    I learned early in my career to believe in myself, what I could accomplish and to not settle for anything less than what I was worth.    If you don't ask, you won't ever know and once you do, if they say no, then it's your choice.    

A long time ago... my mentor from my first career... (you all remember him, right)... made the comment that it was harder for women to climb the success ladder and gain the same respect as men.  At that time, women really didn't hold executive positions as much, although now, times have changed.    My mantra at that time and to this day... is/was... "it's a man's world, i'm just trying to survive in it".  I realize now, that he was motivating me to not settle for being second best.   It was a challenge to prove my worth and to go for it. 

Through the years, I've gained credibility, respect and I've experienced success.   I've seen the highs and the lows of getting to this point.  I've learned from my mistakes in more ways than one.  I've had to accept hard criticisms that weren't always easy to accept.   From my view point, I figured out my strengths and my weaknesses and would say to anyone that by knowing these and working on both sides, it helped me more than anything.   Its important to write these down and to understand what you need to improve on and work at it.    Another factor is to know your job and the responsibilities that come with it and most of all, what is expected of you.   Hone your skills and become the very best that you can with all the tools you have to grow.  Don't be afraid to leave what you're comfortable with and be more aggressive.   Some of the most successful people have told me that if you don't promote yourself, nobody else will either.   Stay relevant and keep in touch with your industry.  

Another good piece of advice I was given early on was to "not sweat the small stuff".   It's so easy to say those words, but a lot harder to follow the advice of them.  If you can ever master them, you're on your way. 

I have also found along the way, that one of the biggest mistakes that we can make as employers or managers is to not appreciate our employees, to make them feel as if they have no value.    Sometimes, it's the small things that will make a difference.    Saying "thank you" and truly meaning it... is hard to come by.  We should all take note that those two words are quite powerful in the workforce.  

Every person of a team plays a role and makes a contribution.  Every employee in a company has value regardless of what their job title or pay scale may be.  Today, when you talk to someone about their value, it feels inferior, even weird and a lot of times it can be construed as degrading especially for those who have never really thought about their value.   From my own personal experiences, I found that knowing my personal worth helped me to elevate my career and find success.    

In ending my blog this week, I will leave you with this thought   There are few people who really take the time to refine their strengths and take advantage of them to their fullest potential and to know their weaknesses and to work on them.   If you don't take the time, as an employee it can leave you undervalued, underemployed and yes, even underpaid.   If you realize what your own value is, you will be more satisfied, but you will also be able to show your employer as well.    What good boss wants to lose someone of great value?

"People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A company is only as good as the people it keeps. We treat our people like royalty. If you honor and serve the people who work for you, they will honor and serve you."  Mary Kay Ash