Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Fall has arrived!  Cooler temperatures seem to be just around the corner, leaves will begin changing into bursting hues of orange and red,  providing beauty all around.   I have to say, that it truly is my favorite time of year.  Maybe it's that with Fall, comes football, world series and the holidays that I love the most.  It's hard to believe it's already October and that we'll soon be thinking about Thanksgiving and even Christmas.  (Yes... some stores are already thinking Christmas.)  (Don't get me started on that rant!)  With this blog, I found myself realizing that in a few days, I will have survived another year.   I guess as we all turn another year older, we try to remember where the years have gone and what life lessons we learned along the way.   Seems the older you get, the more like one of your parents you become... or so I have been told recently.    For me, my lessons learned the hard way... are many.   You'd think that along with these new wrinkles I'm discovering,  I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice.    

So... in all my years of wisdom, what lessons have I learned the hard way.  Well, for starters... things always happen for a reason and only you can find a meaning within those things.   It goes back to the whole half empty/half full attitude.   Say... someone loses their job... one person might use that as an opportunity to do something they've always wanted to do with a new career while another might sink into despair and complain about the world doing them wrong.   I've said this many times before... your attitude truly is the foundation to your happiness.   

The grass isn't always greener.   Most of us have envisioned at one time or another when we were in a bad situation whether it was a job or relationship, that if we could only get out... my how different things would be, only to find that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.  

Don't worry about the things we can't control.   I am a worrier.  I worry about everything and as I have gotten older... it has just gotten worse.  Reacting is one of the things that I do best... and not always in a good way.   Trying to remember that the only person that I can control is myself and my reaction to others has helped me to keep my temper down to a low simmer in a lot of situations.    

Pick your battles.  Personal or professional, this is probably my hardest lesson to learn and I am still learning it.   We have all been in situations where we allowed something small to send us over the edge that created a bigger battle than necessary.   In my career, I've learned to set boundaries.   I've learned when to draw the line because people will only treat you the way you allow them to.  In my personal life, I'm still learning the lesson.  I'm hardheaded and one of those that feels you have to fight it out in order for the balance of the universe to get back on its axis.   Right or wrong, it's a hard lesson that I keep learning over and over.  (Surely, one day, I'll learn...).   

Happiness shouldn't be tied to success.   This is another one that really challenges me.   Success equates to a better being, happier person and all around better attitude.  As I've grown professionally, I realize that my failures were just as much a part of helping me become the person I have as my successes.  The failures are more important.   We all need to have the mindset that sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't.  We don't need to let the times they don't dictate our well being.

You don't pick your family or the person you love.  You do pick your friends.   There is nothing that brings me greater joy than my Clampett family and the friendships that I cherish.    "A friend is a gift you give yourself" and "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out" are two of my favorite quotes.  

Be thankful.  This isn't necessarily a lesson learned the hard way, its one that I think most people forget or take for granted.   I don't take for granted.  I have been extremely blessed.  Even when I feel like my world is crumbling and I'm being sucked into the black hole of darkness, taking a few moments and reminding myself of all the things that I have to be thankful for usually helps put things back into perspective.  

Lessons learned the hard way are never easy especially when they unintentionally or intentionally hurt you or another person.   We've all been through them. We've all learned from them and we've all vowed not to make the same mistakes twice.  In most cases, I'd like to think I've done just that, but I know that there are several areas where my weaknesses come through and I haven't completely learned that life lesson yet.  

So... as Fall continues to approach with all it's glory, I am thankful that I have made it another year.  I'm thankful for all of life's lessons I've learned the hard way.   Somehow, they've helped me become the person I am today.   

As I close out my first post of October... I will leave you to ponder the following.... (see growing older makes you so much wiser, doesn't it?) 

"Age should not have its face lifted, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character."  

"An old fox understands the trap".  - Proverb