Networking - The Old Fashioned Way.

Do you even remember what it is or is it a thing of the past?   Is it still vital in today's business with the focus being so intense on social media these days?  What is the old fashioned way?  Well... from my point of view and after looking it up to get a good definition..it is...

"the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups or establishments specifically the cultivation of productive relationships for business, personal or other group activities."

At one time or another, we have all been in situations where networking was involved.  From the time we were children to teens and into adulthood, networking has been key in the growth of our relationships with others.  In high school or college, we attended school functions, football games, dances, parties... where we engaged or socialized with our peers.   Basically, we were networking and didn't even know it.  

In today's work environment, relationships are essential to the growth of every successful company.   Through-out my careers, it has been stressed over and over, how important relationships are... and not just building them, but maintaining them... nurturing them and honestly, I would not be where I am today without the relationships I have been so fortunate and blessed to have made through-out the last 4 decades.    Thank goodness, I am a "people person".   I absolutely love people and often, I can meet someone for the first time and feel as if I have known them all my life.  

If you were to ask any successful business person, I honestly believe that they will tell you that above all else networking skills are absolutely vital to grow your business. Why?  Networking can increase your market share, help you gain new ideas, provide work and perspectives on life and business. It can expand your brand within a matter of minutes.  Speaking to one person can potentially give you access to over 200 clients and suppliers or more. 

Now, I know that with social media... the expansion of networking is now in the thousands, but I like to think that the old fashioned method is still the most effective.  I am not saying social media isn't important... it is, but for me... I enjoy meeting someone and getting to know them.     

I've been in many conversations with my colleagues and was shocked to discover that there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with networking.  I tried to imagine that... and while at times, it has been overwhelming to walk into a room not knowing someone, I found that all it takes is a warm smile and a friendly hello to strike up that first conversation.  I have always stressed to co-workers and employees... don't wait for someone to approach you... initiate the conversation and even though you may be afraid or uncomfortable, by reaching out first, you have the opportunity to meet people who look interesting to you.   

I found the quote below while researching successful tips on networking and found this statement to be profound.    

           Effective business networking is the linking together of individuals who, through trust and     relationship building, become walking, talking advertisements for one another. 

Isn't this so true?  I mean, seriously, how many times have you been in conversations with someone and they mentioned that they were looking for some particular product or something and if you knew someone, you immediately recommended them or told them you'd make an introduction.  For me... I do it daily.   I have actually become known as someone who can make introductions... and that's not a bad place to be.   For me... I just love seeing the right people get together to create success. 

What else can you do to become effective?   Well... one thing is when you walk into a crowd, don't shrink into a corner.  Be seen.  Smile warmly, greet everyone and try to set yourself apart from the crowd.   Make sure that you dress for success.   There are times to dress up and times to dress down, depending on the occasion, but know that impressions, especially first ones are lasting.  Be positive and confident.  Even if you're feeling shaky on the inside...project a calm and confident manner outwardly.   Once you do this enough, it will be come natural.   

One thing that I have found in my own careers is by being open and assessible and willing to help others, it comes back two fold.  Be approachable and engaging and most of all, be geniune.   These are the things that for me have proven to be successful time after time.   There's a thrill and challenge in every opportunity to network because you never know who you might meet or connect with at any given chance.    I've always found that by just being myself... it usually works out.   When you meet someone new, you don't always have to talk business... small talk can be quite effective in developing a relationship.   Being able to talk to anyone about anything is a valuable commodity in its own way and essential.

Networking is not about selling a company or product. Its about two people who meet and engage in a conversation.    Its about meeting someone and listening to them and showing that you have a geniune interest in them as a person.  By being fully engaged, you are showing the other person that you really do want to get to know them.   You can always provide them with your business card at the end of the conversation and tell them that you'd love to visit with them more.   Its a great way to make sure that you get their information and have a way of following up with them. 

Even though, we are moving forward with technology that provides new ways of linking and reaching other individuals, I would still like to believe that the old fashioned way works best.  Nothing takes the place of being face to face wtih someone and having that acknowledgement that they are actually listening to you.   Having a smile returned or finding someone to talk to that you really find interesting.  

For me... there's simply nothing better than that.  (Well..... okay, maybe the Old Fashioned Cocktail...hmmm... as a very good friend of mine would say - YUMMY!)

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LAUGHTER is the best medicine.

First, let me say thank you to everyone who has been following the blog and recommending it.  I have had over 1000 page views... in a very, very short time, so, to say that I am thrilled is an understatement.  Wow!  Who would have ever thought... that blogging could be such fun.  As I sit down to write... I really don't plan the topics each time.  (I know... that all the 'BLOG Experts' say that you are supposed to focus on your niche... but for me... it's about life.   Everyday life.  I just sit down and whatever is on my mind... is usually what I end up writing about.  I find it extremely therapeutic. 

Speaking of therapeutic, what are some things that you find relaxing?   What de-stresses you?   Last week, I was in a conversation with several of my good friends and we were discussing this very topic and we ended up laughing hysterically at the differences in all of us.   Isn't that the amazing thing... that you can have friends from all walks of life and be completely different in every way, but connect and re-connect over the strangest conversations.  

As I was sitting in the middle of this conversation listening, I found myself giggling uncontrollably at some of the rituals of my friends.  I mean, honestly, some of them take it to the max to unwind... relax... de-stress.   I'm not going to list all of the suggestions but here is a sampling of  their recommendations.

1.  Yoga
2.  Zen
3.  Standing on your head to "stretch your mind, body and soul".
4.  Drinking enough wine or other libations to make you forget.
5.  Reading a book  --- something to sink your teeth into.  Escape from reality.
6.  Listening to music on the ipod.
7.  Massage
8.  (I don't think I can put suggestion #8 in print!!!!)
9.  Read a self help book! 

I thought about each person's answer and tried to picture myself in each of these scenarios and that's what had me rolling in the dirt with laughter.   Are you getting the visual that I had?  If you are... you can thank me for contributing to your laughter today!    I mean, seriously, me and yoga?  ummm.. NOT.   me and Zen... what is that anyway? (in case you didn't know... its a form of meditation where you get in "a zone")   me..standing on my head... we are not even going to go there!    me and wine... well, that one... I actually got and agreed with... completely!  As a matter of fact, I was trying out this one during this whole conversation.   me... reading a book.... love that one... and that really does unwind me at times.    me ... listening to music on the ipod... yep... agree there.  me and a massage.. well, if there are hot stones involved... I am there!!!     me and #8.... HOLY MACKEREL!!!!  I do not blush, but that one... well, let's just say, I had to ask exactly what #8 meant!   me and a self help book... hmmmmmmm.....

That's when it hit me... I didn't need a self help book to unwind me.  All I needed was to step back from the day in and out routine and laugh.  I mean... REALLY laugh.  Bellyache laughs!   The phrase... laughter is the best medicine immediately took on a new meaning.   Where did that phrase come from anyway?   Do you know?   Was it really Reader's Digest?   Now, you have something to "google" while you're pretending to work.  

In humor, is it possible that we may find a whole new way of looking at our lives.  In laughter, could we find solutions to life's problems that we didn't see before because we were too tense or just too serious?   Sometimes we all take life way too seriously.  I am the first to admit... that this is me.  I am a stress-er, a thinker... an over-analyzer... and I know that I drive my family and friends crazy at times.    As we grow up and into adulthood and responsibility, we have been taught to run through our lives with such a speed that we have no time to laugh.  No time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak.  Milton Berle said it best.. "Laughter is an instant vacation!" 

I remember reading somewhere that children laugh over 300 times in any given day yet as adults... the number decreases to a mere 15 times a day and... that women laugh even more than men.    What happens to us when we grow up?  Are the days of Peter Pan and Neverland... gone forever?

I thought about all the times I was with a group of friends and laughed so much til my stomach hurt... or until I cried.  I realized it was in those moments... that I was completely unstressed and just not worried about anything other than that particular moment.   Its moments like those that are priceless memories that we can all relive and enjoy over and over through the years.

 We re-tell stories that... every time we tell them... we end up laughing hysterically, no matter how many times we've heard them.     



So, starting today, I am going to try and up my 15 laughs... to at least 30!   I'm going to try and not take everything so seriously.... to lighten up more.    Laughter... warms the heart and its good for the soul.   After all, isn't a laugh a smile that simply bursts! 

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Airline Customer Service... where is it?

Once upon a time... in days gone by... there were friendly smiles and an over abundance of people wanting and willing to help you.  Regardless of how big, small, significant or insignificant your needs, it was a time when people truly enjoyed their jobs and you could see it.   They showed it in their actions and their willingness to help you.  

Quite frankly... I am not so sure that people even understand what the term customer service means anymore.  Is it really something of yesterdays?   What is your definition?   Are you wondering what has me on this tangent ... well... it was a recent trip that I took....actually its the last several that have me so worked up and flustered.  

The customer service that I am talking specifically about is that of the airlines.   DELTA, in particular.     Recently, when I was traveling I began to ponder about my own definition thinking maybe... just maybe that what I thought customer service was... is no longer.   I mean, it seems that these days... people are more interested in trying their best NOT to help you rather than help you.   I am not sure about other airlines, because every major city has an airline that is the hub... and for Memphis,  its... DELTA.  Well, it used to be Northwest... but then the Delta merger happened... and now it's Delta and honestly, things haven't been the same.   I was a big fan of Northwest.   Delta... not so much.   I've tried to convert.... tried to give them the benefit of the doubt... but, honestly, they need to take a look at some of their agents and some of their flight attendants.  

I understand that both agents and flight attendants have stressful jobs.  I can imagine dealing with passengers day in and day out... takes its toll.   But, isn't that their jobs?    Last week and the previous trip before, when traveling, several people asked the agent at the gate questions... and to my surprise, the agents were rude and when the passengers walked off... they were seen "mocking" them.  I was standing in line myself and witnessed this... first hand.   These questions ranged  from passengers who had been delayed or had a bad morning of travel, missed connections....to simple questions about upgrades, available seats... to helping assist an elderly person.  What's even more aggravating is that I did not hear any of the passengers being anything other but friendly and cordial when asking their questions.  

And I am sure that a lot of the questions irritated the agent because usually, Delta has monitors that let passengers know if they have been upgraded or cleared on the standby list, but this gate did not have the monitors, so passengers were having to go up and ask the agents.  

One gentlemen, who was a medallion member (that's their frequent flyer members) walked up and asked if they had announced whether first class had check in full?  He had apparently just gotten to the gate and had not heard the announcement.   The agent rolled her eyes... and said..."Are you diamond or platinum?"  The gentleman responded "No, ma'm, I am gold".  She said, "Well... I haven't even gotten to all the diamond and platinums so what do you think?"   As he walked off with a puzzled look.... she turned to the agent beside her and made fun of the man for asking.  Honestly, where has professionalism gone?  And.. why could she not have answered, "No, not completely, we still have a few seats but unless you are a diamond or platinum medallion, it's unlikely, you'll make the upgrade today".   I mean... how difficult is that? 

During the time that Delta has taken over, I've witnessed agents being ... well, just rude many times and each time ... it aggravates me beyond words.  Traveling is stressful enough and in today's environment with the higher prices, new guidelines, TSA frisk downs, body scans and more... the last thing you want is a sarcastic agent or flight attendant who obviously hates their job.  

As the man walked off, I was standing in the line behind him to ask a question and he smiled at me and said... you may just not want to know and he gave a little laugh.   When I walked up, she didn't say "Can I help you?" or anything like that... she just kept her head down and said "Next"... that really irritated me.  I mean... how hard is it to look at someone and smile.... and say..."How can I help you today?".  
The flight we were on was running late and I already had a very short connection time, so my question had to do with making the connection and if there were other options in the event I didn't make it.   Her answer to my question was a even more "curt" than her previous answer to the man ahead of me.   It was obvious that eveyrone in line wanting to ask a question or needing help... well, they were just inconviencing her.    She rolled her eyes and when I walked off...AND she did the same "mocking" thing to the agent beside her ... and I just lost it.   Instead of turning around and going off on her... I turned back around... and said "Miss"... she looked startled... and I smiled brillantly and  said, "I am really sorry you're having such a bad day.  Its really not our intention to burden you."  Then I walked off to my seat to wait for the flight.    She looked baffled... and for me, it was a lesson that my daddy taught me a long time ago... kill'em with kindness.  

As I sat down, the man who was in line before me... looked across at me, smiled and said.. "Well done.   Flying isn't what it used to be and the agents and flight attendants... definitely aren't".   At that moment...I completely agreed.   Maybe, the airlines should take measure and know that as passengers, we pay for tickets.  We pay for baggage.  We pay for the food on the plane unless we are upgraded.   Nothing is free anymore.   Is it now... that we have to "pay" to ask a question?  

Customer Service should be the priority in every organization that serves the public in any way.   Its the first and last impression that you have of them.   If you don't make it a focus, then you lose sight of who and what is really important and at the end of the day... it's the CUSTOMER.   (in case you didn't already know the answer.)

For me... the individuals who really go out of their way... offer a warm smile and truly want to be helpful are far and few these days.  But... when I encounter one,  I am always going to make sure that I thank them and tell them how much I appreciate them.   




  

the day of LOVE... now what?

Happy Valentine's Day! The day of love has arrived... now what?   There are many who probably think Valentines Day was created by Hallmark...or maybe some creative florist... after all, it is the day of a thousand roses, candies, hallmark cards,  trinkets and other tokens of affection.   What a great trivia question - how many dozens of roses are given on this very day?   Has Valentine's Day become that commercialized?   well....in my personal opinion....after visiting the grocery store yesterday....   actually, yes.   I wasn't sure I was even in the supermarket... it looked like a card shop/florist/candy store all wrapped into one.   It was... madness at it's best. 

Those of you who know me really well... know that I love literature and history... and the story of how Valentine's Day came to be... is really quite romantic...although there are many versions of it...  So, during a time when the holiday has become so ... material.... and commercial... reflecting back on the actual history and meaning makes you realize why February 14th is so special and why its even celebrated in the first place.  

 Who was St. Valentine you might ask?   He was a Christian cleric of the Roman Empire... way back when.   During this time Emperor Claudius II had mandated that Roman soldiers were not allowed to marry because women ... and eventually children were too much of a distraction.  In those days, the soldiers had to fight off their attackers and needed to be as strong as possible.   Now... the story goes... that the men in Emperor Claudius II service disagreed with him. and lucky for them.. there were clergy who felt the same way and were sympathetic... Valentine being one of them.  They would marry the soldiers and their women in secret.

Valentine was discovered, arrested and sentenced to death, but while he was imprisoned, one story told is that he healed  and fell in love with one of the jailers daughters.  Legend has it that before his execution, the daughter received a card from him bearing an inscription and his love ---  "From your Valentine".   Who knows if this is actually how it came down, but it was such a romantic story that surrounded his death, that those who knew of it began to spread the tale and Bishop Valentine became Saint Valentine and it was during this time that many Romans began the practice of sending a card to their special someone.   After his death, he became what is known as a patron saint.   Many considered Valentine the spiritual overseer of an annual festival that came to be where young Romans would present cards of affection for those that they wished to see.  This festival was held on February 14th.   So, through the ages... February has become known as the month of love with the original meaning being a heartfelt message of love.  

The history reminds us that its not about the amount of money spent... its showing love from within. Do you really need the flowers?  The candy?  The trinkets?  I don't know.  I'd like to think that romance comes from the heart... from actions and effort.    Sometimes... its really the simple gestures that mean the most. 

Don't get me wrong... I ABSOLUTELY love flowers.. and appreciate  them anytime I've ever been given them.   What makes me appreciate them even more-so.. is when a simple, handwritten heartfelt card or note is sent with them.  WOW. ...knowing that someone actually took time to go in and personally write the words they are feeling.  Now... that isn't always possible... and I don't want to take away from the fact that it does take effort to even plan to send flowers... or pick up a gift of some kind... but it should be something that you do think about - maybe its sending favorite flowers or adding something in your note that makes it very personl even if you couldn't write it yourself.  

I am also one of those people, who definitely thinks that you should celebrate and make Valentine's Day special, whether its dinner out or at home.  Love is in the air... so take advantage of it...... but I think you should also make efforts through-out the year.   Love is not something that is like an on/off switch.    Its on... all the time... in the good times, the bad and even the rock bottom.   If its not on... then, I guess there's another question to be answered.  

Through the years, our valentines have expanded to more than just the person you express your love for... nowadays, your valentine list may include spouses, signficant others, boyfriends, friends, children, grandchildren... special neighbors... your valentine can be someone that you simply adore.   At the end of the day... we all like to feel loved, wanted and cherished.And sometimes... you may not have a significant other to share your deep affections of love.  But... there's always someone who you can share the day with and thats what makes it so great.  

This year, my very special valentine is a 2 year old... who... is the love of my life. (you know it... talking about THE GRAND).  What can I say... I absolutely ADORE him.   He never disappoints me.   He loves me unconditionally and thinks I am the funniest person ever.  (well, me and whoever else he's with at any given moment...) but hey...He gets me... and never questions why I do or don't do something... (well, not yet anyway...).   I asked him what he wanted me to get him for Valentine's Day... and he looked at me with big sparkling blue eyes.... and said... a big ole' heart.   Well, what a smart two year old he is because he captured my heart the day he was born... probably even before he arrived... but the moment my daughter handed him over the very first time to hold... he had me... at hello!   So... I am off on a mission to find the best big ole' heart that I can find.. it has to be special... with meaning. Why?  It's a labor of love... something from the heart.   It's the effort... and even at 2, I want him to know... he was worth the effort. 

So, it is the day of love... now what?   As you plan your special day showing those you love ... take time and put forth a little extra effort and at the end of the day... February 14th is about telling someone how you really feel about them... so regardless of what gifts you buy, its the power of the words that truly mean something. 

Wishing all you a day filled with love, happiness and hearts! 

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

 A special friend gave me a sterling silver necklace with a charm on it several years ago, when I was going through the illnesses and passing of my parents.  On the back of the charm, engraved was the message above.   The Serenity Prayer.   

This beautiful prayer was written by a man named Reinhold Niebuhr in 1943.  The words have special meaning to those who are often "looking for peace" at a time of turmoil, despair or uncertainty in their lives.  


The words are powerful and meaningful.   As we wander through life, there will always be things that happen to us... that are simply out of our control.  Things that we don't understand. This simple prayer has helped me more than once over the last several years and even more so recently.  

Sometimes... life is just tough.   Whether personal, work, family, friends, challenges, sickness/illness, break-ups... whatever you're going through...we have all at one point or another in some way... felt it. 

I hope that this prayer helps you in your tough times as it has me.     




 

Heroes Among Us

Hero.  What is a hero?  If you asked 10 people on the street... they would all have a different answer.   I have a special person in my life that I nick-named this very moniker many years ago.   I've thought about it often over the course of the time I've known them... and even today... the moniker fits.   Its an endearment for me that means something to someone who has made a profound impact on my life... in many ways.   Have you ever counted how many songs are about a hero?  When hearing those playing, do you ever think of someone in your life who you think of as your "personal" hero?    What about movies?  Don't they all have a hero somewhere?    You know the person who always comes in and saves the day or the good who always overcomes evil?  I like it when the hero wins... I'm always pulling for that person.  

As life changes and evolves, at some point, we have all had one person or maybe its several that we looked to in one way or another... as our hero (es).  We are grateful to have met this person and thankful that they have touched our lives.  Sometimes our heroes come and go.    Sometimes, they are in our lives for a long time.   Sometimes our hero is someone we may have never met... but we are inspired by their story of  dedication, courage and passion that has somehow given us hope.   

Who are they?    Someone on the street that we met only for a brief period of time.   Someone who is a family member that we've known all our lives.  Maybe someone who we've been friends or best friends and  we can't imagine... how we would have made it this far without them.  Maybe its a spouse, a significant other or a crush.  Maybe its a colleague or co-worker.  Or... maybe its those everyday heroes who get up day in and day out...  who give of themselves in their chosen professions to serve, protect, defend, care for others  (policemen, firemen, teachers, doctors, nurses... the list is many).

Regardless of who they are... they make a profound contribution to our lives and touch us in a way that inspires us.   They challenge us in ways that we aren't even aware and they leave lasting imprints.  All in all... a hero makes you want to be a better person, or at least, mine does.   

Often, everyday heroes don't get the recognition they should, in my humble opinion.  They are people just like you and me, who simply step up and do what's right.  They step up in tough times.  They step up in good times.   They inspire, motivate, challenge and bring out the best in all of us.   Individuals who bestow random acts of kindness, help their neighbors, volunteer for charities, those... who need nothing in return... because they are doing from the heart.    Sometimes a hero is someone who saves a life, makes an extraordinary gesture.. and at other times, its someone who helped you through a divorce, or maybe a birth of a child.  Sometimes its simply the person you trust most in the world to share your dreams, failures, hopes, and everything in between.       

Since the 9/11 tragedy,  I think we have become more aware of those extraordinary individuals who step up.   We've been more observant of the firemen, the policemen, the military, the medical teams... those who maybe before we just took for granted in a small way. (Afterall, isn't that just their jobs?)      Since 9/11, we've learned the power of words... simple ones like "thank you"... which in many instances means more than anything else we could ever hope to say.  Since 9/11,  we have become more patient and understanding of procedures and tasks.  We've become quite a bit more humble and grateful for the freedoms that are ours.   Freedoms that don't come without a price - our men and women of the military stand up for us every day so that we as a nation may be blessed with freedom.   Many of these military members and their families sacrifice... and sometimes loved ones don't ever make it home.   Yet... they are proud even in their loss.   Do you feel your heart strings tug a bit, when you're someplace...( maybe an airport, hospital, or wherever) and someone in the military dressed in uniform,  walks by and someone stops them... and simply says... "thank you".  "thank you for your service and what you're doing for us."  Personally, I tear up... every time.   

Every day... look around and you'll be amazed and surprised at how many heroes you may meet.   Just ordinary people living their lives... going about their day...but doing extraordinary things.

I'm thankful for all of the everyday heroes, the military and even my own.   They've all touched my life in one way or another.  Next time you're out and about... say thank you to our everyday heroes... and even your own..   It only takes a few seconds but the impact will be lasting.

To my own hero, you've made a significant difference in my life and I will be forever grateful.  Knowing you has made me a better person.  You've helped me overcome fears, listened to tales of woe, been there for the successes and the failures.   Your strength has kept me upright more times than I can count.   In good, bad and in between... you've always brought out the cape when I needed it.  

Thank you.