Self-Reflection... Out with the Old... IN with the New!

Out with the old... and in with the new.... what a familiar saying, right?    It's hard to believe 12 months have passed and we are ready to close out another year.   2011... has pretty much come and gone.     For me, it's been a long year and one filled with many changes.  It's been a year of frustrations, challenges, difficult times... but also one of success and triumph.   I've grown in many ways this past year and found out things about myself that surprised me.  Isn't it amazing that you are never too old to learn something new about yourself.  (And... trust me, I do not like to be reminded how old I am...but, as a very dear friend tells me ... often... AGE is just a number.)  

At the end of every year... I do... what I like to call my "self- reflection" of the past year.  Things that I accomplished... things I didn't.  Things I'd do over... things that I hope to never do again.   Things that made me smile, laugh and really love my life.   Things that were difficult, depressing and provide moments of temporary insanity.   Things I want to change... and things I want to keep.  Self-reflection can be a humbling and numbing exercise, not to mention,  a painful one, but... I've learned that in order to grow as an individual, sometimes, we need these self-induced "wake-up" calls.    

My wake up call involves a number of items on the "2012 List" both in a good way and those that need some "tweaking" as I will put it.   The good things this past year have allowed me to appreciate small successes both professionally and personally, one by one...each not being easy to accomplish, but just knowing that I did and that I could was success in itself.   What is success without relationships?  NOTHING.   I am very fortunate that I have a wide circle of friends and family who are always rooting for me and are there to share the successes and the failures.  They are the constant in my life..... and I am definitely appreciative of every single relationship and sometimes it takes a very close call of losing a relationship that means everything to you to make you realize how fragile and precious they are to your well being and your happiness.  

Another good thing on my 2011 list has been... this blog.   I have been so touched by the messages I have received after posts.  Your comments that you've made...have really helped me to know that my words have touched different people in different ways.   For me... the writing is therapeutic.  It has provided me with an outlet to express my thoughts.   At the same time, it's also allowed me a broader opportunity to evaluate life experiences in a new way and to share them.  I hope that ya'll will continue reading and sharing back with me.   There's plenty more good on my list from 2011 but there's also some areas of change that I need to address.   We all have those... 

For my "tweaking" items...   One thing I have realized this past year is that I have allowed circumstances beyond my control to "control" my life so to speak and... as of this moment... it stops.   The only thing that I can control is me and my reaction to events surrounding me or affecting me.   I've looked back and realized that my reaction to certain circumstances put me in a bad place at various times during the past year.   It allowed me to become someone that I don't like or really want to be.   So, first on my list....with a double and triple underline... Be ME... and control my reaction and try to breathe before "re-acting."  That's a tall order... but, the first step... being aware of it.   I've said this one many times through-out the year... and I often slip... but, I am determined to be diligent in the coming year.   

Number 2 on my list... REMAIN positive regardless of the situation.   From past experience, I know that negativity can swallow you up ... and drown you ... IF you allow it.   (so, see... #1 and #2 are working together ... here!)  If you're negative, then EVERYTHING is negative.   It's hard to stay positive... all the time.  It's hard to always see the glass half full INSTEAD of half empty... but.... again, the whole purpose of the self-reflection exercise is to remind yourself of all of the things that you want to change... and those you don't.   So... for 2012, I am going to post a positive thoughts and comments as often as I can.   

#3 on my list... is to get healthy again.   At 47... it JUST ain't as easy as it used to be!    I've had health problems for as long as I can remember... from stomach, to back... to migraines... to everything in between.  My list of woes is enough to make your head spin... and as my grown children often tease me... there's not much left for them to take out or to find wrong with me... IS THERE?   The way I see it... it could BE much worse than it is...  so, I definitely feel like I'm pretty LUCKY.   

My back doctor tells me I have the back of an 85 year old... (WOW... that's motivation, isn't it?).   My stomach doctor tells me that i have to find a way to alleviate STRESS from my life..... because apparently, when I am stressed... so is my stomach! (I could be the poster person for TUMS, PEPCID, PREVACID, NEXIUM,  well... you get the picture, right?)    (Well... if anybody can tell me a cure for stress... I am all ears!)  I've realized that being healthy is really about having a balance in all things.  It's not just about diet and exercise.   So... I have a new plan for 2012.... that hopefully will put my mind, body and soul back in balance for a healthier, less stressful and happier me again.   OH, I SO WANT TO BE ME AGAIN.   (You're probably asking yourself... well, who has she been?)  

#4 on my list... is in regards to my professional life.  This past year, I managed to develop and execute a brand new concept...that I truly believe in and for that I am quite grateful for the many friends and colleagues who stood with me and behind me to get it off the ground.   I plan on coming back in 2012 with a few changes to make it even better.   Success is sweeter when shared and it's often a result of those around you.   In my situation, that is definitely the reason.   So, #4 .. is to continue to TRY, not give up and work hard to find opportunities to grow professionally.   The phrase... UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver... definitely means something.  I want to be looked upon as someone who doesn't give up... who has a passion and believes .... I want to be the person that has the positive outlook and attitude to accomplish anything.   Will there be failures?  Of course.. but, with every success... failure helps you get there.   

My list continues on with a number of odds and in's... but for the most part, I know that I am truly blessed in this life and know not to take a moment of it for granted.  So #5 on my list... is to SIMPLY LIVE.   It's a motto on my blog page... Simply Livin' and it seems that I needed reminding of it myself. Life itself can sometimes get us down... and it takes a simple gesture to get us back on track.   We should take time every day to breathe and appreciate every moment.  We should love like there is no tomorrow and we should forgive easier.   I guess Tim McGraw's song... Live Like You Were Dying... really holds true and maybe we should all take a moment of self reflection of it. 

2011 has been ... what a good friend once told me... "character building".   I've gone through some tough times on both a personal and professional level... but, at the end of the day.... I'm still here.  I survived and I have the opportunity to make 2012 a better year.   So... as the last week of 2011 begins... and my self reflection episode continues ... I look back with thankfulness for every person who was in my life this past year.   

I look forward to 2012 with a renewed spirit and hope to make a difference, change lives and to be the person that I know that I can be.   I have a new commitment to being me, being positive and to never giving up on the things that I believe in, want and know that are worth it.   I have re-found my passion to simply live for the moment to appreciate all of the things that we often take for granted.  Life... is what we make it... NOT what it makes us.  

My wish for each of you.... is to take time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, to make time for friends, to laugh and enjoy a cup of coffee and a wonderful conversation, to achieve your successes with a smile and take your failures as an opportunity.   If you are ever in doubt of yourself... stop and hold a 5 minute conversation with a child... it will OPEN your heart and your eyes.   Children see things in such a simple way -- no wonder they are happier than adults!     May 2012 shine brightly upon you with love, prosperity, good health and most of all... happiness.   

Happy New Year!  

Tis' Better to Give than Receive... We Should All Try It.

Wow... it's mid-December.  Where has this year gone?   We are truly in the midst of the holiday season.... with bells, boughs of holly and all of the fa-la-la we can tolerate... ready or not... it is upon us.   It is the season of giving... and we all know that it is better to give than receive.   I've thought a lot about that phrase over the last week and thought what a great idea if we all... had that philosophy through-out the entire year.   In our personal and professional lives... tis' better to give than receive ... what might happen?

Would we be more productive?  Would we engage our customers or clients more?  Would networking lead to success for us in other ways?  Would we raise the bar on our own standards?  Would we elevate the quality of our work?  At home, would we be respected more?  Would there be less debates or hearty discussions?  Would there be more quality time?   Would it be reciprocated?

for me... I think the answer to all of these questions would be a hands down YES.   I've often thought that you should always.. give more than you receive.   My own work ethic as well as my personal one is one of ... i know that someone where down the line it will come back to me two-fold.  Maybe I'm naive.  Maybe I'm never going to make it to be a millionaire.  Maybe I'm one of those lost souls who believes you should be the bigger person.   Maybe I think by doing more for my family, friends, work colleagues... that somehow... it will be reciprocated.   Whatever I am... I just know that for myself... giving more than I receive brings great joy and hopefully one day..... great rewards.  As a matter of speaking, it already has..

When you're in a relationship whether personal or business, it's often easy to get very frustrated when one person gives more than the other.  I've often thought at times... that the one not giving as much... should learn from example... and try it.   I've also realized that you can't change everyone and that there are some people who are just selfish.   Selfish?   What I mean is that they put their own needs and wants before others.   I guess there's nothing wrong with that and I am sure that many successful people today have had that same attitude.  More power to them.  If they can live with it... then, guess I can as well.   I just know that for myself... some of my greatest successes have come from giving more than I received.   My life is enriched by the people in it.   The relationships that I have developed over the years are many and each of them has brought something new to my life.   I've also found... that by giving more... I do indeed receive more.

As we continue with the holiday spirit, I hope that we'll all look deep in our hearts and give unto others more than we have before and allow ourselves to truly experience the season of giving.  In your own community, there are friends, neighbors, colleagues who may be struggling or going through a hard time... and you'd never know it.   There are many without homes, food, warm clothing or a kind word.

There are many military families who will be without their loved one this season.  What a great gift of giving to let them know they are not alone and that we all appreciate the sacrifice and love for country that they as a family give so that we may enjoy freedom.   Freedom is truly not free and these men, women and their families are the reason we have it.  

 Often, I've been accused of being too generous, too giving... but is there truly such a thing?     I know that my heart bursts with joy when I have helped another person or gone above and beyond for someone who truly appreciates it.  The magic is in their heartfelt smile or genuine gratitude.  I know that there have been many that I have helped... and regardless of whether or not they gave back the same way, in my heart, I know that I did it out of love or friendship or an act of simple kindness.

We often get caught up in the season of giving... but it is not about the gifts wrapped under the tree or the bows that adorn them.  Christmas is a time for family and friends.  Christmas is a time to give of yourself... but with that in mind, try to do it all year long.

Most importantly, let's not forget the real meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  One of my favorite holiday classics - Charlie Brown Christmas is so meaningful to me because Charles Schulz would not be pressured by the network to take out Linus' passage about the true meaning.  In case you didn't get a chance to view the holiday classic this year,.. here's a link --- just click on it to view...

Linus' explains the true meaning of Christmas   

This season... and all year long,  may you embrace giving more than receiving.   May God Bless Each of You for a safe and joyous season.

Merry Christmas Ya'll.

Dance With the One Who Brung Ya....

Dance with the One Who Brung Ya is a phrase that is very close to my heart, as well as something that I learned very early in life and my career.  It's a message that has served me well through-out the last 27 years and one I'm not likely to forget.   

So... what does it mean?   There's several versions of the quote itself, but the meaning and gist of it is the same in all accounts which boils down to one thing - LOYALTY and a meaning of don't ever forget those who helped you, believed in you , stood beside you and were there for you when nobody else seemed to be.  

We all seek success in different ways and for most of us, we are barreling down many roads before we find the one that leads us where we eventually want to go.  Somewhere along the way, we all had someone or several someone's who brought us to the party, so to speak.   They were the person or person(s) who inspired us; taught us; introduced us to colleagues and friends; included us in their own lives and networking; shared their failures and successes; they motivated us; advised us in ways that we didn't always like; listened to our challenges, ideas and offered a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on; they provided us with support; gave us an honest answer; and most of all they believed in our potential and ability to become successful in our own right.   

Through-out my own career, there have been many people who have helped to shape, mold, support, encourage and be there when the failures came as well as the successes.   In my first "real" career, as a pharmaceutical sales representative for a generic and brand wholesaler, my boss and mentor, used this saying often and meant it.   "Dance with the One Who Brung Ya... because loyalty and relationships are the keys to success."  He drilled it home every opportunity and as I've often said in many of these blogs, I owe him a great deal because he taught me in a way that allowed me to reach my full potential and I have never forgotten who brought me to the party.  He wasn't the easiest boss to work for,  trust me, we disagreed on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was a teacher and he truly wanted his team to succeed.  He knew that if they succeeded, he would succeed.  It's a lesson that I am forever grateful and often reminded of daily.  Through the years we became friends and to this day, when he offers advice, I listen.  

I'm so blessed and fortunate to have established and maintained so many relationships in not one career but two.   I have not forgotten who helped me along the way in both starting with the mentioned former boss in the earlier paragraph to the countless of friends and colleagues who picked me up when I was down, encouraged me, motivated me and most of all believed in me.   Those individuals will always have a very special place in my heart.   The words "thank you" just don't seem adequate at times, but I've always tried to nurture and take care of my relationships because they are fragile and valuable.   

As I've become a manager and even as a friend, I've tried to always keep this phrase close to my heart... but there have been times when I've found myself in situations where I've been on the other side of the coin... and felt that those that I supported, motivated, listened to, helped, encouraged, stood beside and believed in..... forgot and somewhere along the way... left me behind.   Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe my own feelings just got hurt because the time they once had for me, no longer was available or made available......I'm not sure what happened along the way or why things changed.   I just know that from my perspective it seems that as they've grown and found success...  I don't seem as important in their lives anymore.    Time is a valuable gift and when we share it with those we trust, love, respect and care about it allows our relationships to continue to grow.   

It's amazing... in the beginning,  the time, resources and care that we all take when investing in a new relationship, whether business or personal.   Once we are in the relationship and its firmly established, we should make sure that we are not forgetting what got us the relationship in the first place.  

Often, when we get busy and time or care isn't given the same as it once was...and as more success happens,  the relationship begins to crumble IF we don't stop and make time to get back on the right road.   We should all take a good look at the relationships in our lives and ensure that we are treating others as we want to be treated with loyalty, integrity and respect.   We should never forget those who brought us to the dance and most of all... we should never be too busy for them.  What would have happened if they had been too busy for us when we needed them?  What would have happened if they had never helped us?   

To this day... I'm still dancing with the one and others who brung me!  Are YOU?