"If I am to meet with a disappointment, the sooner I know it, the more of life I shall have to wear it off."
THOMAS JEFFERSON
At one time or another, we've all had disappointments in our lives, but especially, in business. Sometimes the disappointment is almost too much to bear and it leads to anger and emotions running high. Disappointment comes in all forms: Losing a customer; not getting credit for work done; an employee quitting; not getting a raise you felt you deserved. The list is endless and on a daily basis... someone is disappointed. It's just part of life. We can't ignore it. We can't prevent it. We can't go around it or under it. The only way to get through it is to learn to deal with it in a positive manner.
I realized many years ago that..... sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment. We set the bar so high... that the only result can be failure. If we expect too much...and things don't work out as we planned, our disappointment is far greater. I am the world's worst at putting an unbelievable amount of pressure on myself when it comes to my own expectations. I'm my own worst enemy. I've learned through the years and through trial and error that sometimes it's better to have a well thought out plan with an alternate form of action in the event that things go wary. We can't always control everything, but, if we think through our process and have a plan B, as I like to call it, then, we can control the magnitude of disappointment that we experience. Someone once said to me, disappointment goes hand-in-hand with expectation.
Many times I have been extremely confident only to be let down. Through-out my own career, I've endured many levels of disappointment. Some are just minor... blips in the road. Some have been major that actually got me down in ways that I never knew existed. Sometimes these types of disappointments get us down to the point of giving up and quitting. We feel we've been pushed to the brink. Sometimes... we look for somebody else to blame so we don't have to face ourselves in the mirror. Disappointment can be mentally exhausting as well as emotionally. Disappointment can linger and affect our daily lives leading to a lower self worth and taking away our ambition. It takes a strong person... to get back up and keep plowing ahead. It takes a determined person to know and to keep reminding themselves that ... even if we fall off our bike... the only solution is to simply... get back on it. Remember that phrase... just keep swimming... well, in this case, just keep pedaling! Sometimes... it takes a friend or someone who loves us... to gently nudge us back on the bike.
The longer we let disappointment control us, the harder it is to get back on the bike. By the time, we try to attempt to get back on, we are filled with bitterness and anger.
There's nobody that's exactly alike when it comes to dealing with problems or disappointments. For me, I need to talk through things. I need to understand... why they happened so that somehow, I learn from it. Sometimes, reliving it hurts, but it also helps to cleanse away the negative feelings. It also helps me to analyze what went wrong. I've been told on numerous occasions that I over-analyze everything. I think too much. It's a true statement and there are many times, when I need to lighten up. I also know.. that I would not have had the many successes that I have had if it had not been for this. I think that my way of dealing with it... allows me to make mental notes of what not to do next time.
I've also learned that it's okay to tell my family, friends, colleagues that I'm disappointed. I am still learning not to dwell on the disappointments or allow them to affect my ability to move forward. Honestly, I believe that task is on-going and always challenging. It's easy to fall backwards... much harder to keep moving forward.
There comes a point when we have to just let the disappointment go. If we allow it to stay and fester, its only going to affect everything else in our lives. I know this first hand. I've also learned that when we get knocked down... we may need a shoulder to lean on or a comforting hand to hold and in personal situations... I think this is acceptable, but, at the same time, in business... if you're a good leader.. you can't feel sorry for yourself.
Along the way... as we grow older and wiser, I think we also become more realistic in our expectations and our disappointments become less. They still happen, but, I think we are better prepared to handle them and the situations. I still struggle with disappointment. It's been my achilles heel for as long as I can remember. It's something that has gotten me down when I least expected it. I've endured personal disappointments and professional ones. Neither is easy and it will always be part of our lives. Success happens when we find the ability to get back up after being knocked down. For me... my bumps and bruises are long and lengthy... but, I wake up every day, getting back up for the next ride.
"The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way." Robert Kiyosaki
"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." Beverly Sills
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