Remembering my Dad!

All through the year, we have holidays and special days that mean something to all of us.   We all celebrate them in different ways and we all have different ones that we celebrate.   This week-end, across the nation, many families will be celebrating Father's Day on Sunday.   Father's Day, along with Mother's Day, is a day for children to show their parents extra love.   It's a day of celebration, honor and even memory.

My Daddy and Me

 For me...my dad is no longer with us, so Father's Day is now about remembering and celebrating his spirit and memory.

As many of you know, I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other.  Its still raw and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and miss them both.   It will be 2 years in July since my dad's passing.   I know in my heart he is in a better place and that he's watching over me.   It still doesn't make it any easier and even though time has helped with some of the grief, there are still moments when it hits... and the floodgates open.

It's uncontrollable and yet, somehow, comforting at the same time.  

I don't ever want to forget what my Dad looked like or forget any of the memories that I hold near and dear in my heart.  He was a very gentle, kind and simple man.  He worked hard and he provided for his family.  He loved sports and during his high school and college years, he was quite good.   He loved the Rebels and even though we may have had a losing season in every sport, he was loyal.  He loved to garden and his thumb was green.   Every summer, the bigger he could make his garden, the better he loved it.  He loved to ride the backroads and just enjoy nature.  He was a hunter and an avid fisherman.    He was also a very quiet man... which is so unlike my mother or even me.   He hardly ever raised his voice, but when he did, you knew it was important.

Once you have lost a parent, it's like you've lost part of you.   You feel unbalanced.  Losing both, you feel like you're alone as far as wisdom, advice and just knowing you always have somewhere to go if you needed.   (That's how I feel anyway...).

 Since his passing,  I've thought a lot about him.  I've realized what I cherished the most and it was the quiet moments we spent watching the Rebels, the time out in his backyard watching the hummingbirds, the many memories of him in the garden making sure that every plant got adequate attention, the gentle laugh when he was telling a story, his love for boiled peanuts... and the list goes on and on.   I've looked back on my childhood and even in adult life and know that I was one of the lucky ones.  

For 45 years, I was incredibly blessed.   I don't know that Father's Day or any other holiday will get any easier, but I do know that I won't ever forget and that his memory and spirit are still in my heart each and every day.   Life is a precious and fragile gift.   If you still have your father... spend Sunday with him and make a memory.   Life, after all, is about memories.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.  I know you're the brightest star in heaven shining down on me each and every day!