TO INFINITY AND BEYOND..

My blog.  My long forgotten blog.  Yes.. I've thought about you.   Yes... I've wanted to write.   I just seem to find one excuse after another as to why I haven't.  Excuses.  Seems that they are part of our every day lives... and we use them like they were candy.    The sad part... I don't even have a really good excuse as to why I have not remained diligent in my commitment to continue my blog.  The strange thing... is I find it so therapeutic.  It eases my mind and thoughts... sorta clears the cob-webs... so... as the old saying goes... I'll dust off my pants... get up... and begin again.  

So... what's been going on the past 10 months.  What could have possibly kept me from opening this page and writing down my thoughts.  Work has been busy... but that should not be used as an excuse. My Ole Miss Rebels had me glued to to season.. but surely, I cannot use that as an excuse.  Wait... I have one... 

... I turned 50.   Can I use that as an excuse?  I finally hit the big 5-0.   It really turned out to be an amazing journey.   I decided that I really wanted to do something big for the half century mark.   So.... I invited about 7 of my closest friends to join me for a week in Napa/Sonoma.  Why Napa?  It's truly one of my favorite places.  I love everything about it.   For this particular trip, the house was located in Sonoma.   For the first night.... I had a professional chef come to the house and prepare a meal for everyone.  Everyone had been traveling most of the day... and when you're going east coast to west coast... the last thing you want to do is go out.    It was a great way to get the trip started and she was an italian cook... which made it even better.   There is nothing more special than enjoying a fabulous meal with many toasts with people you love being around.  Laughter and love... isn't that what makes life fabulous? 

The week consisted of blending our own wines, tastings in caves, winemakers sharing their passion and the highlight of the trip... was my very first visit to The French Laundry.   If you have never heard of this restaurant... please... look it up.   It's one of Thomas Keller's creations and my expectations were very high.   I had tried to get a reservation for like 5 years and was never successful.  A very dear friend who knew the Chef... got me in and I can honestly say that it is an experience that I will never forget.  

Everything I thought would happen... did and so much more.   Impeccable service, the food was amazing, the atmosphere was simply special... and the people that I shared this experience are truly my dearest of friends.   I can check it off my bucket list... and I know that if I ever get another opportunity to visit... I will jump on it. 

The birthday journey was something special... and to top it off... I had another surprise 50th when I was in New York a month or so later.  It seems that turning 50 ..... means... you just reverse the clock and start going backwards!  

One thing I did decide is that I have been letting life pass me by... so to speak.. and now, I have a commitment to grab on and enjoy it.    

So... for those of you with big milestones coming up... don't sit back and let it pass you by.  Grab it, embrace it and make a memory that will last.   

Now... I'm ready for whatever comes next... as Buzz Lightyear would say... to Infinity and Beyond.  

Take a Deep Breath and Simply Let Go!

Letting go.  How often have you heard this phrase from a friend, a co-worker or even family?  You need to just... let go.  Lately, I have had a lot on my mind, my heart... and this phrase seems to be coming back to me over and over again. 

 Letting go means you relinquinsh the worries, the concerns, the cares.  Letting go means you no longer allow something to drive you or carry you.  Letting go means... you are finally giving in or giving up.  Right?   I have sat and thought about this a lot.  What does letting go really mean?  

Every day, we wake up and are blessed to face a new day.  We have the ability each day to smile and embrace life's challenges or to allow the challenges to take over and control us.  Stress is a daily part of our lives.  Sometimes, stress is good and sometimes it's very bad.  Breaking bad habits and getting out of old patterns seems to be a tough step to take, especially, when we've embedded ourselves in such a routine.  How do we simply "let go"?  How do we stop and choose another path?  

As a parent, we are often faced with a time in our lives when our children grow up, become adults and we are faced with the task of "letting go".  We have loved them all their lives and to some extent, in our eyes, they will always be our babies.  The truth is I believe that it's harder on the parent than the adult child.  I remember when my daughter moved out right after she graduated college.  I felt like part of me left with her.  She didn't move far and we still saw each other every day... but there was something about the fact that she felt like she was ready to fly the coop, so to speak.  I tried to think back to my own "coming of age" moment and I realized that my own mother probably experienced the same feelings.   Recently, my son... who is the baby.... has decided it's his time to go.  This time the feelings are overwhelming and for some reason, just a bit more difficult.  I don't know if it's because he's the last one to go... or if the feelings of growing older are crashing down.  I know that in the end, things will settle down and work out, but for now... I guess the empty nest syndrome has truly hit.   Both of my parents are gone and now... the children have flown the coop.... and the letting go just seems to be more painful.  I know that this will pass... these feelings of being in an empty house.  I know each day it will get better.  

I keep trying to tell myself that letting go will allow all of the feelings of anxiousness and depression to find another home.  I keep telling myself that just because my upstairs is empty... doesn't mean there's nobody there.  I keep thinking about my heart shattering... when the moment came and he loaded up his things and drove away.  As I sit here... my house is still and the tears flow freely.  The stress of feeling like he's gone and not coming back is overwhelming.  I feel angry.  I feel sad.  I feel lost.  No, actually, I feel a lot LOST.  Who am I kidding?  

I am sure that the worries won't go away or the concerns... and I am sure that the feeling of loneliness won't leave anytime soon... but, I know that it's time to let go.  Finding a way to accept things that we can't control is one of the hardest things we do every day.  

Every day... we have a choice to let go or hang on.  Sometimes, hanging on means we prolong the eventual decision that we know we have to make.  I've tried to find a witty antedote or some inspiring quote that could help to lighten the mood.. but the truth is... isn't this what makes life... life.  The ever-changing cycle of life where we all grow up, become adults and go out and do great things in the world.    All I could find is that there is a balance we all have to find... one where we hold on... and one where we know it's time to let go. 

I've done all I can do... now... it's time for their wings to spread and to fly and soar as I know that they can and will.   The journey to 50 continues to have bumps in the road... and every day is a new adventure.  

Is it that Hard to Be Kind?

Be Kind.  Be Courteous.  Be Respectful.  Be Thoughtful.  Be Considerate.    What do those words mean to you?  This week my post comes after reading several articles about a US Marine who was on board a Delta flight from Atlanta to Washington DC.    According to the article… 

Marine Lance Cpl. Christian Brown lost both of his legs while deployed to Afghanistan in 2011.   A week ago he was returning from a hunting trip in Alabama for other wounded vets and was also very sick.   They placed him in one of those "airplane" wheelchairs to board him… and paraded him, clumsily,  down the aisle to the very back of the plane.  Along the way, he was bumping into other passengers.  The article reads that tears were falling from the soldiers face from embarrassment and humiliation.   He was seated next to a retired army colonel who along with other vets on the plane were outraged at the treatment.   Inquiries were made as to why he could not be moved to first class or the front of the plane.  Apparently, there were individuals seated in first class who were willing to swap seats, but according to the article the flight attendants wouldn't allow it using the excuse that the door was closing. 

 EXCUSE ME?  Are you kidding me? 

When the day comes that we cannot take an extra 15-20 minutes to honor one of our military heroes by accommodating them for a more comfortable flight, yet, we can hold a plane to wait for passengers who have just landed… something is terribly wrong.  I cannot tell you how out-raged I am over this article.  I do not know this man, nor his family.  I do not know the passenger seated next to him.  But.. my heart broke for the pain and suffering he endured at the hands of individuals who simply didn't care.  

Please read the full article at the link below for the complete story.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/she-the-people/wp/2012/12/13/marine-double-amputee-gets-help-from-fellow-vets-angered-by-delta-airlines-treatment/

WHY?  When I read this article.. I sat there asking one question, Why?  This was a senseless act.  This man fought for his country, for you and for me.  This man is a hero and should be respected and honored as one, not humiliated.   This story sickened me, but the reality is… this happens every day.  

Is it so much to ask that you treat others as you want to be treated?   In our personal and professional lives, we encounter family, friends, colleagues, strangers, elderly, children, poor, rich, sick and so on… and every day we each have the choice to be kind, respectful, considerate and thoughtful.   My question to the flight attendants on the flight is simply this… what if that were your brother, father, nephew, uncle, friend, son or anyone you know?  Would you want them treated that way?  

I am a frequent flyer on Delta Airlines and I can tell you that I have seen firsthand.. the rudeness that can be spewed by some of these attendants.   I have personally sent letters to Delta's Customer Care because I felt that they need to find individuals who want to make flying enjoyable.  

But, honestly, this post goes much deeper than the story of this marine.  This post is for each of us.  Every day someone encounters another person who hurts us with words or actions.   Why is it so hard for us to treat others as we want to be treated?  Is society getting to the point where small acts of kindness are unheard of on a daily basis?   

This story hits home for me because I do have family and friends enlisted in the military.   I've been with them and have seen so many people show respect with a simple handshake and a thank you, or a salute even.  I've seen individuals truly show kindness, so for me, this story deserved a different ending.  This soldier deserved better treatment.   The attitudes and gestures of these particular individuals simply do not make sense.  

Delta, along with all airlines, have the responsibility to ensure a passengers safety.  They also have a responsibility to hire flight attendants who are capable of doing their job but who are also friendly and sensitive to every passenger's needs and situations.  I understand that if a passenger is belligerent or out of line, but in this case… the airline not only owes this individual an apology but so much more.  

Shame on those flight attendants, the captain and first officer.   I am embarrassed for Delta because this is not the image you want to portray of your customer service.  I wonder if there will be repercussions for their actions?  I wonder if they sit awake at night and think about how they treated this man.  

Sadly, the answer is probably not.  We should all use this article as a reminder that each of us has a responsibility in our own lives.  

Go out in the world today and do these things:  Be kind.  Be respectful.  Be thoughtful.  Be considerate.  Be compassionate.  Be encouraging.  

It's quite simple:  treat others as YOU want to be treated.  God Bless Our Military and their families for their sacrifices that they make each and every day.   

Yes, I'd Love a Phone Call From Heaven!

Life has a funny way of always putting things in your path just when you need it.   As I was thinking about my next blog post, which I knew would be about my mother, I was working in my home office and the inspiration came like a gift from above.   As I work, I like noise and usually will watch the Today show or Good Morning America in the morning for any news or relevant stories that might be interesting.   This morning, as I was going about answering emails and such, I looked up and saw a segment on the Katie show, where she was interviewing Mitch Albom who wrote the book, "the first phone call from heaven".   Why at that particular moment would this segment come on?  Why today?  There's always so many questions and not enough answers, but, sometimes you simply don't ask the why.  Today was one of those days.  

I found myself turning up the volume and listening intently to the interview.  I googled the book and knew immediately that I would download it and read it.  One of the questions that the author asked Katie was who she would want to get a phone call from heaven from... and she replied, that she'd like to hear from her husband, Jay and maybe her sister and Dad.  She asked if she could have a conference call.  (ha!)  As I laughed at her response,  I realized tears were falling.  Not from sadness, but, from the joy of thinking about getting a phone call from heaven.  

http://youtu.be/_ENSBc3FajY  (click the link and you'll see what the book is all about.) 

Four years ago today, my mom passed away and not a day goes by that I don't think about her (or my Dad either.)  My parents passed away exactly 6 months apart and it was a difficult time, for me, especially.   I am the youngest of 3 children and as I've mentioned before, I was close to my parents.  The older I got, the more I wanted to be around them.   This segment seemed to be on at this exact moment just for me.   It was almost like my mother could hear me and she was helping.   As I was watching the interview... I found myself imagining my phone ringing and my mother being on the other end.  (There was nothing she loved better than a good long phone conversation!)  Yes, the more I thought about this... the more I thought...   I would gladly welcome a phone call from heaven and yes, I would need a party line.  I would want to talk to my momma and my daddy, both.  My dad would have perfect hearing now, because in heaven life has to be perfect.  My momma would listen (okay, probably not).  I would listen and laugh at her stories and instructions just like we used to do.  My dad would tell me how pleased he was with the Ole Miss Rebels and so on.  For a few moments this morning... as I closed my eyes and envisoned the phone call and conversation, a great peace came over me.  I can't describe the feeling.  I've had it before and felt their presence.  Some might say I'm crazy.  I don't know.  All I know, is they are both with me each and every day.  They are in my heart and when I find myself thinking of them, I look up... and know that they are there.  

During the course of the interview with Katie, the author shares the story of his mom, who has had a stroke and she can no longer speak.  He can touch her but he doesn't know if she can really understand.  He said that the one thing he missed was hearing her voice.   He went on to say that a lot of people save messages on answering machines or cell phones because of this one thing.  They missed the person's voice.  I was a bit dumbfounded.   Was this man talking directly to me?   I thought I was crazy because I saved my mom's cell phone, simply because it had her voice on it and whenever I felt down or needed to know she was there, I would play the recording on it.   

Immediately following the segment on this author and his book, Katie made the transition with ease... to comfort food.... I just sat there a moment.  I found myself smiling... because if there was one thing my mother knew it was.. comfort food.  

So today was a good day.  It was unexpected.  I decided that I wanted the hard copy of this book, so I drove to town to pick it up and know that on my business trips this week, my idle time will be spent with this book.  I can't wait to read it.  

So... Mom and Dad, if you're listening and I know you are... my phone number is still the same and I'd love to have a conversation.  We have a lot to catch up on.   

Take Me Back to Mayberry, Please.

 Over the holidays,  I had the opportunity to watch television and one of the shows that I am always drawn to is 'The Andy Griffith Show".   As  I was flipping channels and saw it playing…  my remote instantly stopped.  I'm laughing now as I even write this thinking of it.  I truly enjoy watching the antics of Andy, Barney, Aunt Bee, Opie, Floyd, Helen, Goober, Gomer, Otis, the Mayor… and basically feel like I know them all on a personal basis.  

Who doesn't know the theme song to the show?  Who hasn't tried to whistle it?  (and while you're whistling it, who didn't get that feel good all over feeling?) Now, you'll be whistling this all day... and I can guarantee, you'll be smiling while doing it.  

As I was watching a recent episode, I thought about why I found it so appealing and enjoyable.  Was it the wholesomeness of the show?  The characters?  The stories?  Was it the fact that life seemed to go by at a slower pace with a lot of southern hospitality?  Was it the small town charm that was conveyed in every episode?  Was it the humor in watching Barney's antics…. with the biggest dilemma being 

whether he would be able to find his  "single bullet"  if the day ever came when he needed to use it?   For me... it was all about Andy.   Andy was easy-going, calm and a leader not just as a boss and father, but as a friend, a companion and neighbor.   Whatever the situation, Andy found the right solution and always provided us with a good dose of "learnin'".   

Andy Griffith is an icon and the role he played on the show became part of our daily lives.  Andy and Mayberry represent a part of my childhood .... and now, as an adult, bring great memories but also enjoyable television time.  (Aren't re-runs, the greatest? )  Andy wasn't always perfect and what was so great about the show was that even when he was wrong.. he made sure that he made amends.  

The show is a vault of life lessons that are delivered with such realism and humor, that you feel, like you're a member of the community when you're watching the show. You feel connected to the characters.  You find yourself rooting for Otis to get clean; or Barney to not be so clumsy; or Aunt Bee to find a companion.   You are invested into getting to know all of them.   Mayberry, North Carolina is part of American culture and it has left a lasting impression for most of us.    Every episode shares values and a message that would make all of us a better person.  (Not just personally, but professionally, as well.)  It would be interesting to create a leadership course based on Andy.   

"Be honest; Work hard; Respect your family, friends and community; Take care of each other; Don't sweat the small stuff; Smile; Be kind; Be a mentor and coach; Never judge… and the one lesson that seemed to be a staple during the television's run… "do the right thing".   

As I thought about making this the focus of my post this week,  memories came flooding back of coming home from elementary or junior high school every day at 3:30 p.m. and walking in and going straight to the television.  There without fail,  Sheriff Andy Taylor and company would take up 30 minutes of my day and provide me with teachings that I honestly didn't know I was getting at the time. 

 Today, our culture has become obsessed with another television show (even with all the controversy) --   Duck Dynasty.   Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that Uncle Si could ever outdo Andy or Barney, but, I think the reason so many people are drawn to beards is that there is a certain amount of realism within the show that the majority of american's find appealing, as suggested by their viewing numbers.  The Robertsons are willing to share their faith, their family and values without feeling like they have to hold back.  They brought prayer back to television when everybody else was trying to take it away.  Sure, they have edited it so that Si is hysterical and that there is a certain amount of comedy in each episode, but the family stays true to who they are in the series.  I think our country is hungry for it with all of the senseless tragedies and turmoil that we see every day on the news.  

For me, I will welcome Andy, Barney and the gang into my life at any opportunity and find myself laughing out loud over and over again, regardless of how many times I've seen the episode.   It reminds me that every day we will all face challenges and problems (even tv characters)  but we can solve those with patience, understanding, trust and love.   Sheriff Taylor is a fictional character and the town of Mayberry may not exist but those life lessons learned are very real.   Take Me Back to Mayberry, please.  

cue…. the whistle.  





   

A Kick in the Pants

Here we are the first full week of January (without a holiday) and I already feel like I need to place a sign on my back.   A big huge sign that says "Kick me"!  Don't we all need that every now and then... a good, swift kick to the behind to get us UP and MOVING.    Today was one of those days.  The temperature was a steaming 7 degrees and the high for Mississippi was... are  you ready, yep... 15 degrees.   I just wanted to get back in my bed and stay warm.  I seriously stuck my toe out and at one point thought it had froze.  (Yes, I know there are people in the mid-west and north-east who are dealing with -40 below and snow drifts of 2-3 feet... but I live in the South... we aren't supposed to have Arctic blasts of weather!)   Yes... where is that sign!  

                                                      

Motivation!  We all need motivating from time to time, don't we?   The holidays usually give you time to sit back relax, enjoy family and friends, eat a lot and take time away from your work mode.  For me... they provide that opportunity to launch into what I like to call hibernation.  Sounds odd, right for someone who travels a great deal of the time.   I don't know what "willed" me from that warm cocoon of the down comforter, but I got up and made it to my home office.  

Today, as I opened my computer and looked at my list of priorities, I felt overwhelmed.   I felt like I had been gone away on a 3 month voyage.  So, as I sat there staring at my list... I remembered my post from last week... My Road to 50 and my "be" list.    I pulled the list back up and read it to myself to serve as a reminder of what I want to accomplish this year.  I printed it out as well and placed it near my desk-top so that if I ever felt like I couldn't get going again... the list would be there staring at me... willing me to get going.  

I took a deep breath and slowly starting looking at the list and started to check off a few of the easier items which were follow-ups to emails.  Once those were done, I checked them off and re-evaluated the list and chose the next couple of items, and then the next and next.  By mid-afternoon, as I looked at my list, I realized I had actually become productive and gotten quite a bit accomplished.  

My reward.... a hot cup of tea.   For me, there is nothing better around 2-3 p.m. than a a cup of hot tea.  It soothes the soul and re-energizes me.   I felt better than I had earlier in the day and as i sat back down with my computer, realized that I had only 5 more items to get finished for the day.  Several phone calls later, I had completed my list for the first official Monday in January 2014.  

Motivation comes in all forms, shapes, sizes and ways.  For me... it was as simple as remembering my goal I set for myself last week and slowly easing myself back into work mode.   Instead of allowing myself to feel overwhelmed, I started out slowly and took each item on the list one by one.  By breaking down the list, it became more manageable.  So... for today... I got up and moving and motivated and cleared the list.    Have a great week and stay warm!  

Nifty "50"

so... my journey begins... the road to 50.   I have been pondering this huge milestone in my life for quite sometime.  will i feel 50?  will i look 50?  will i feel old?  am i old?  when i look in the mirror, will i see more gray?   what does turning 50 actually mean?  

yes... the questions are endless and the answers are all different depending on who you are talking to about the magic number.   I must admit... I don't feel like I'm a mere 10 months away from the "half-century" mark.  (geez... that does sound old!).  With all of these thoughts and ramblings going on, I decided to mark 2014 as "the road to 50" and to create a "be" list  to help me as I journey into the next chapter.  It's never too late, right?  So... what's on my map as I try to navigate to the nifty "50"... 

1.)  Be healthy.  My number one priority in 2014 is to have a healthier lifestyle, which is not always easy when you travel.  The time is now... to make the change and to STICK with it.  (Trust me, that does not mean I will be passing on the glass of wine... but, I have learned it's about choices and I am not always one to pick the best choice when eating properly!)  

2.)  Be kind.   This sounds odd, right?  But... I've realized as the years have slowly added up and the changes in hormones have hit... that I am not always the nicest person on the blog.  I have allowed my patience to dwindle and at times, I find myself thinking very "unkind" things.  (Yes, this happens when I'm driving and I'm cut-off; or I am at the airport and there's someone sitting next to me chatting for what seems like hours on end; or when I am shopping and the salesperson is on my heels... I will try my very best to be a kinder, gentler version).  

3.)  Be inspired.   This one is probably the easiest on my list as I am so very fortunate to love what I do and adore the people I work with on a daily basis.   There are so many amazing individuals in our industry who have such passion and creativity.  It's hard not to get caught up in it and be inspired yourself.  My goal is to inspire others as much as I am inspired myself. 

4.)  Be charitable.   This year I want to be more supportive of the charities that I support and endorse and to help in any way I can.  We are all very fortunate and blessed to be able to do the things we love to do but there are many who are not... and we should all give back more.  (Some of my favorites are CORE; Helen David Relief Fund ;  St. Jude and American Cancer Society).  I also hope to get more involved with some type of charity that has a focus on COPD.) 

5.)  Be adventureous!  This is the year where I want my journey to involve checks off my bucket list.  I want to experience as many wonderful memories as possible and to move toward 50 with adventure and spontaneous moments.  Life shouldn't be a planned activity... for every moment we breathe.  We should embrace what life gives us and take it! 

6.)  Be present.  (I'm sure you're thinking... what on earth!)   As we all move through our daily lives.. and sometimes just go through the motions... are we really present?  Are we focused?  Are we centered and grounded on the tasks at hand?  For me... I am a multi-tasker... but, its not always a good thing.  One of my goals this year is to be present with everything I do and to try and make sure that I am enjoying life and not going through the motions.) 

7.  Be authentic.   I always want to be the person I am whether its home or at work.  I want to be genuine and make sure that I am never quoted as being fake or insincere.  Be original!! 

8.  Be a leader.  As I move toward a new year and new opportunities, I want to drive new levels of excellence and standards within my own business but those relationships that I am very fortunate to be a part of their business.  I want to set the bar higher and to under promise and overdeliver.   I want to lead by example.  

9.  Be humble.   Life is too short to take things for granted.  I want to appreciate my life more and be more thankful for each person in it.  I truly believe that people are placed in your path for a reason and I want to be take time to smell the roses and to enjoy my family, my friends, my work and most of all know.. that it can all be taken at a moment's notice.  

10.  Be happy.   My final item on my road to 50 is to simply be happy.   I want to wake up every day with a happy thought and to end every day with one.  I want to embrace the challenges, the trials, tribulations but to keep a positive attitude.  

Turning 50 is a huge milestone for me.   For awhile, I thought about hopping in bed, pulling those covers up and spending the entire year in bed... until the day passed... but, I have decided to take a new approach.   I will embrace the number, the year, the milestone.  I will look forward to the journey and appreciate waking up toward it each and every day.  

After-all, age is just a number.  It doesn't define us, right?   As we go about our daily lives and we meet someone who is enjoying life and embracing it... we should not question it, we should applaud it.  

So... join me on my journey for the next 10 months and come October... I plan on marking the milestone in a big way!  

Nifty 50!  Ready, Set, Go!!!!!