Self-Reflection... Out with the Old... IN with the New!

Out with the old... and in with the new.... what a familiar saying, right?    It's hard to believe 12 months have passed and we are ready to close out another year.   2011... has pretty much come and gone.     For me, it's been a long year and one filled with many changes.  It's been a year of frustrations, challenges, difficult times... but also one of success and triumph.   I've grown in many ways this past year and found out things about myself that surprised me.  Isn't it amazing that you are never too old to learn something new about yourself.  (And... trust me, I do not like to be reminded how old I am...but, as a very dear friend tells me ... often... AGE is just a number.)  

At the end of every year... I do... what I like to call my "self- reflection" of the past year.  Things that I accomplished... things I didn't.  Things I'd do over... things that I hope to never do again.   Things that made me smile, laugh and really love my life.   Things that were difficult, depressing and provide moments of temporary insanity.   Things I want to change... and things I want to keep.  Self-reflection can be a humbling and numbing exercise, not to mention,  a painful one, but... I've learned that in order to grow as an individual, sometimes, we need these self-induced "wake-up" calls.    

My wake up call involves a number of items on the "2012 List" both in a good way and those that need some "tweaking" as I will put it.   The good things this past year have allowed me to appreciate small successes both professionally and personally, one by one...each not being easy to accomplish, but just knowing that I did and that I could was success in itself.   What is success without relationships?  NOTHING.   I am very fortunate that I have a wide circle of friends and family who are always rooting for me and are there to share the successes and the failures.  They are the constant in my life..... and I am definitely appreciative of every single relationship and sometimes it takes a very close call of losing a relationship that means everything to you to make you realize how fragile and precious they are to your well being and your happiness.  

Another good thing on my 2011 list has been... this blog.   I have been so touched by the messages I have received after posts.  Your comments that you've made...have really helped me to know that my words have touched different people in different ways.   For me... the writing is therapeutic.  It has provided me with an outlet to express my thoughts.   At the same time, it's also allowed me a broader opportunity to evaluate life experiences in a new way and to share them.  I hope that ya'll will continue reading and sharing back with me.   There's plenty more good on my list from 2011 but there's also some areas of change that I need to address.   We all have those... 

For my "tweaking" items...   One thing I have realized this past year is that I have allowed circumstances beyond my control to "control" my life so to speak and... as of this moment... it stops.   The only thing that I can control is me and my reaction to events surrounding me or affecting me.   I've looked back and realized that my reaction to certain circumstances put me in a bad place at various times during the past year.   It allowed me to become someone that I don't like or really want to be.   So, first on my list....with a double and triple underline... Be ME... and control my reaction and try to breathe before "re-acting."  That's a tall order... but, the first step... being aware of it.   I've said this one many times through-out the year... and I often slip... but, I am determined to be diligent in the coming year.   

Number 2 on my list... REMAIN positive regardless of the situation.   From past experience, I know that negativity can swallow you up ... and drown you ... IF you allow it.   (so, see... #1 and #2 are working together ... here!)  If you're negative, then EVERYTHING is negative.   It's hard to stay positive... all the time.  It's hard to always see the glass half full INSTEAD of half empty... but.... again, the whole purpose of the self-reflection exercise is to remind yourself of all of the things that you want to change... and those you don't.   So... for 2012, I am going to post a positive thoughts and comments as often as I can.   

#3 on my list... is to get healthy again.   At 47... it JUST ain't as easy as it used to be!    I've had health problems for as long as I can remember... from stomach, to back... to migraines... to everything in between.  My list of woes is enough to make your head spin... and as my grown children often tease me... there's not much left for them to take out or to find wrong with me... IS THERE?   The way I see it... it could BE much worse than it is...  so, I definitely feel like I'm pretty LUCKY.   

My back doctor tells me I have the back of an 85 year old... (WOW... that's motivation, isn't it?).   My stomach doctor tells me that i have to find a way to alleviate STRESS from my life..... because apparently, when I am stressed... so is my stomach! (I could be the poster person for TUMS, PEPCID, PREVACID, NEXIUM,  well... you get the picture, right?)    (Well... if anybody can tell me a cure for stress... I am all ears!)  I've realized that being healthy is really about having a balance in all things.  It's not just about diet and exercise.   So... I have a new plan for 2012.... that hopefully will put my mind, body and soul back in balance for a healthier, less stressful and happier me again.   OH, I SO WANT TO BE ME AGAIN.   (You're probably asking yourself... well, who has she been?)  

#4 on my list... is in regards to my professional life.  This past year, I managed to develop and execute a brand new concept...that I truly believe in and for that I am quite grateful for the many friends and colleagues who stood with me and behind me to get it off the ground.   I plan on coming back in 2012 with a few changes to make it even better.   Success is sweeter when shared and it's often a result of those around you.   In my situation, that is definitely the reason.   So, #4 .. is to continue to TRY, not give up and work hard to find opportunities to grow professionally.   The phrase... UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver... definitely means something.  I want to be looked upon as someone who doesn't give up... who has a passion and believes .... I want to be the person that has the positive outlook and attitude to accomplish anything.   Will there be failures?  Of course.. but, with every success... failure helps you get there.   

My list continues on with a number of odds and in's... but for the most part, I know that I am truly blessed in this life and know not to take a moment of it for granted.  So #5 on my list... is to SIMPLY LIVE.   It's a motto on my blog page... Simply Livin' and it seems that I needed reminding of it myself. Life itself can sometimes get us down... and it takes a simple gesture to get us back on track.   We should take time every day to breathe and appreciate every moment.  We should love like there is no tomorrow and we should forgive easier.   I guess Tim McGraw's song... Live Like You Were Dying... really holds true and maybe we should all take a moment of self reflection of it. 

2011 has been ... what a good friend once told me... "character building".   I've gone through some tough times on both a personal and professional level... but, at the end of the day.... I'm still here.  I survived and I have the opportunity to make 2012 a better year.   So... as the last week of 2011 begins... and my self reflection episode continues ... I look back with thankfulness for every person who was in my life this past year.   

I look forward to 2012 with a renewed spirit and hope to make a difference, change lives and to be the person that I know that I can be.   I have a new commitment to being me, being positive and to never giving up on the things that I believe in, want and know that are worth it.   I have re-found my passion to simply live for the moment to appreciate all of the things that we often take for granted.  Life... is what we make it... NOT what it makes us.  

My wish for each of you.... is to take time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, to make time for friends, to laugh and enjoy a cup of coffee and a wonderful conversation, to achieve your successes with a smile and take your failures as an opportunity.   If you are ever in doubt of yourself... stop and hold a 5 minute conversation with a child... it will OPEN your heart and your eyes.   Children see things in such a simple way -- no wonder they are happier than adults!     May 2012 shine brightly upon you with love, prosperity, good health and most of all... happiness.   

Happy New Year!  

Tis' Better to Give than Receive... We Should All Try It.

Wow... it's mid-December.  Where has this year gone?   We are truly in the midst of the holiday season.... with bells, boughs of holly and all of the fa-la-la we can tolerate... ready or not... it is upon us.   It is the season of giving... and we all know that it is better to give than receive.   I've thought a lot about that phrase over the last week and thought what a great idea if we all... had that philosophy through-out the entire year.   In our personal and professional lives... tis' better to give than receive ... what might happen?

Would we be more productive?  Would we engage our customers or clients more?  Would networking lead to success for us in other ways?  Would we raise the bar on our own standards?  Would we elevate the quality of our work?  At home, would we be respected more?  Would there be less debates or hearty discussions?  Would there be more quality time?   Would it be reciprocated?

for me... I think the answer to all of these questions would be a hands down YES.   I've often thought that you should always.. give more than you receive.   My own work ethic as well as my personal one is one of ... i know that someone where down the line it will come back to me two-fold.  Maybe I'm naive.  Maybe I'm never going to make it to be a millionaire.  Maybe I'm one of those lost souls who believes you should be the bigger person.   Maybe I think by doing more for my family, friends, work colleagues... that somehow... it will be reciprocated.   Whatever I am... I just know that for myself... giving more than I receive brings great joy and hopefully one day..... great rewards.  As a matter of speaking, it already has..

When you're in a relationship whether personal or business, it's often easy to get very frustrated when one person gives more than the other.  I've often thought at times... that the one not giving as much... should learn from example... and try it.   I've also realized that you can't change everyone and that there are some people who are just selfish.   Selfish?   What I mean is that they put their own needs and wants before others.   I guess there's nothing wrong with that and I am sure that many successful people today have had that same attitude.  More power to them.  If they can live with it... then, guess I can as well.   I just know that for myself... some of my greatest successes have come from giving more than I received.   My life is enriched by the people in it.   The relationships that I have developed over the years are many and each of them has brought something new to my life.   I've also found... that by giving more... I do indeed receive more.

As we continue with the holiday spirit, I hope that we'll all look deep in our hearts and give unto others more than we have before and allow ourselves to truly experience the season of giving.  In your own community, there are friends, neighbors, colleagues who may be struggling or going through a hard time... and you'd never know it.   There are many without homes, food, warm clothing or a kind word.

There are many military families who will be without their loved one this season.  What a great gift of giving to let them know they are not alone and that we all appreciate the sacrifice and love for country that they as a family give so that we may enjoy freedom.   Freedom is truly not free and these men, women and their families are the reason we have it.  

 Often, I've been accused of being too generous, too giving... but is there truly such a thing?     I know that my heart bursts with joy when I have helped another person or gone above and beyond for someone who truly appreciates it.  The magic is in their heartfelt smile or genuine gratitude.  I know that there have been many that I have helped... and regardless of whether or not they gave back the same way, in my heart, I know that I did it out of love or friendship or an act of simple kindness.

We often get caught up in the season of giving... but it is not about the gifts wrapped under the tree or the bows that adorn them.  Christmas is a time for family and friends.  Christmas is a time to give of yourself... but with that in mind, try to do it all year long.

Most importantly, let's not forget the real meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.  One of my favorite holiday classics - Charlie Brown Christmas is so meaningful to me because Charles Schulz would not be pressured by the network to take out Linus' passage about the true meaning.  In case you didn't get a chance to view the holiday classic this year,.. here's a link --- just click on it to view...

Linus' explains the true meaning of Christmas   

This season... and all year long,  may you embrace giving more than receiving.   May God Bless Each of You for a safe and joyous season.

Merry Christmas Ya'll.

Dance With the One Who Brung Ya....

Dance with the One Who Brung Ya is a phrase that is very close to my heart, as well as something that I learned very early in life and my career.  It's a message that has served me well through-out the last 27 years and one I'm not likely to forget.   

So... what does it mean?   There's several versions of the quote itself, but the meaning and gist of it is the same in all accounts which boils down to one thing - LOYALTY and a meaning of don't ever forget those who helped you, believed in you , stood beside you and were there for you when nobody else seemed to be.  

We all seek success in different ways and for most of us, we are barreling down many roads before we find the one that leads us where we eventually want to go.  Somewhere along the way, we all had someone or several someone's who brought us to the party, so to speak.   They were the person or person(s) who inspired us; taught us; introduced us to colleagues and friends; included us in their own lives and networking; shared their failures and successes; they motivated us; advised us in ways that we didn't always like; listened to our challenges, ideas and offered a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on; they provided us with support; gave us an honest answer; and most of all they believed in our potential and ability to become successful in our own right.   

Through-out my own career, there have been many people who have helped to shape, mold, support, encourage and be there when the failures came as well as the successes.   In my first "real" career, as a pharmaceutical sales representative for a generic and brand wholesaler, my boss and mentor, used this saying often and meant it.   "Dance with the One Who Brung Ya... because loyalty and relationships are the keys to success."  He drilled it home every opportunity and as I've often said in many of these blogs, I owe him a great deal because he taught me in a way that allowed me to reach my full potential and I have never forgotten who brought me to the party.  He wasn't the easiest boss to work for,  trust me, we disagreed on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day, he was a teacher and he truly wanted his team to succeed.  He knew that if they succeeded, he would succeed.  It's a lesson that I am forever grateful and often reminded of daily.  Through the years we became friends and to this day, when he offers advice, I listen.  

I'm so blessed and fortunate to have established and maintained so many relationships in not one career but two.   I have not forgotten who helped me along the way in both starting with the mentioned former boss in the earlier paragraph to the countless of friends and colleagues who picked me up when I was down, encouraged me, motivated me and most of all believed in me.   Those individuals will always have a very special place in my heart.   The words "thank you" just don't seem adequate at times, but I've always tried to nurture and take care of my relationships because they are fragile and valuable.   

As I've become a manager and even as a friend, I've tried to always keep this phrase close to my heart... but there have been times when I've found myself in situations where I've been on the other side of the coin... and felt that those that I supported, motivated, listened to, helped, encouraged, stood beside and believed in..... forgot and somewhere along the way... left me behind.   Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe my own feelings just got hurt because the time they once had for me, no longer was available or made available......I'm not sure what happened along the way or why things changed.   I just know that from my perspective it seems that as they've grown and found success...  I don't seem as important in their lives anymore.    Time is a valuable gift and when we share it with those we trust, love, respect and care about it allows our relationships to continue to grow.   

It's amazing... in the beginning,  the time, resources and care that we all take when investing in a new relationship, whether business or personal.   Once we are in the relationship and its firmly established, we should make sure that we are not forgetting what got us the relationship in the first place.  

Often, when we get busy and time or care isn't given the same as it once was...and as more success happens,  the relationship begins to crumble IF we don't stop and make time to get back on the right road.   We should all take a good look at the relationships in our lives and ensure that we are treating others as we want to be treated with loyalty, integrity and respect.   We should never forget those who brought us to the dance and most of all... we should never be too busy for them.  What would have happened if they had been too busy for us when we needed them?  What would have happened if they had never helped us?   

To this day... I'm still dancing with the one and others who brung me!  Are YOU?  

Without a Mask... You're Gonna Make it After All!

Who am I today?  What mask will I wear?   

 As you read those two questions, you're probably wondering... what mask?   I know who I am.   Well... are you sure that you're the same person day in and day out?  Are there ever days when you find that it's just easier to pretend you're somebody else or maybe not to that extreme, but do you find yourself being in a good mood for the sake of others, when on the inside, you're a train wreck?   Do you find yourself smiling to hide the frown?  Or... are you someone who... regardless of how you feel, you let the world see and know your every mood?   I haven't found many people who willingly shared all of their problems and turmoil with those around them.  Instead... just the opposite.  

Every day, we are different people at various times of day.  We are parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, boss, employee, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, daughter, son, volunteer, caretaker.... and the list goes on and on.   Every day in each of these roles, we have different behaviors.   I guess sometimes it's hard to determine the mask from just changing your roles.... but if you look closely, you'll know when you have on a mask and when you are merely changing your role from mom to friend.  

This past week... I've thought quite a bit about the mask or in many cases, masks... that we all wear at some point in our daily lives.  There are some people who in their jobs, have an elaborate mask that really changes who they are .. into the person they feel they need to be or maybe it's the person that they want to be.     Now, before you pretend to not know what I am referring to about putting on a mask, hear me out.   Every day, we all try to be something to somebody.   Every day, we adapt our personalities to those that we encounter.  Every day, whether at home or at work, we all go through the process of putting on the mask.  Most of the time... you probably don't even realize you're doing it.   I'm sure many as you are reading this, you're saying... no way... I'm the same person every day, inside/outside and to all who know me.   The mask isn't intended to change the wholesomeness of your heart or who you are in any way.  It's not intended to be fake or false,  or even misrepresenting.   In a way, I think of the mask as one that an athlete might wear when playing a sport.  It's there for protection and safety when we are at our most vulnerable.

 Do we do this so that those closest to us won't see the real person?  Do we do it to try and make others happy?    Do we do it to protect the deepest part of us that we may not want others to gain a closer glimpse?  Do we find that it's easier to pretend to be in a good mood than share our bad mood with our co-workers?   Do we find that somewhere down inside, we'd like to be somebody else even if it's only for a short period of time?    I am sure that its one of these, several of these or all of these.

For me, I know that I have on occasions in the past, donned several masks over the course of my careers and even in my personal life. I guess the most significant time was during the illness of my parents and the period following their passing.  It was a very hard time for me... and the grief was overwhelming.  I just didn't feel comfortable sharing that with every person because in my own way, I was struggling and still struggle to this day, with the loss.  Not only did I have a mask for my business colleagues to hide this grief, but one for my family and friends.  I guess I just didn't want them to see how bad I was hurting inside.    This doesn't mean that people don't and didn't  get the real me.  They did, but I think at times, it was just easier to put on a mask of "I'm doing okay" rather than go into detail the struggle of just getting out of bed.

In my first career, young and hungry and quite ambitious, I know that I wore a mask in dealing with clients because I was "green" and I did not want to appear that way.  I wanted to be seen as confident, successful and knowledgeable.  As I grew into my role and job, I realized that the success of the job wasn't the masks or the skills, it was the relationships and as I allowed the mask to come off and the relationships became real, my success went through the roof.  I found that by simply being myself that I opened myself up to so many rewarding relationships that are still in place today.

Again, I think that at times, we don't even realize we put the mask on.  I think that when we do it,  it just means that we don't always want to place our problems or burdens upon other people.   It means that if we're going through a tough time, we may not want to share it or feel comfortable enough to share it.   It means that if we're dealing with something very close to our heart or we've been hurt, we may not want the outside world to see.  It means that if we wake up and feel yucky, sometimes, we pretend to feel better than we do so that others won't be brought down.   Yes... We all have done this and we've all put on a mask or two at some point.  We all have our own ways of getting through life's stress, hurts and pains.

Sometimes the mask...helps us to cope with things that we've tried to hide and maybe not for a good reason.    I've thought about the thousands of women and men,  for that matter,  who deal with domestic abuse, verbal abuse or any kind of abuse... and the masks of courage and bravery that most of them wear before finally feeling like they can face the truth and the world.   Again, is it for protection and safety?   I'd like to think that the mask whether its on in times of trouble, everyday life or to protect your heart, is there to use when you feel you need it.   It's your decision whether you will allow anyone into your life mask off.

What happens if we all take off all the masks?   Our lives aren't always picture perfect.   Our lives aren't always pretty and put together.  We aren't always the person that people have a perception of who we are inside.  I guess the reality is, the reason that most of us have the mask in the first place, is somewhere along the way, we've experience hurt, disappointment, loss or rejection.  The mask again... allows us safety and protection of our hearts.  

 As we all deal with trials, tribulations and even triumphs, we find certain people that we want to see us with the mask off in every situation and gradually, we get to the point where with them... we never even pick it up.    Isn't it amazing how somebody comes into your life and you feel such a connection that your vulnerability and guard let down.  It amounts to love and trust and all good things that come with it.  Many times in our lives, we feel this with more than one person... maybe it's our significant other, our best friend, our children, our parents.... I'd like to think that we are all very capable of allowing more than one person see us as we truly feel day in and day out.  

As I've grown older, hopefully much wiser from life's lessons, failures and successes,  through the years, I found the need for the mask to not be as important as it once did in my life.  I, now, realize that by wearing the masks, I didn't open myself up to fully allow others to see the struggles that I went through, both career wise and personally,  and that I was missing out on something vitally important.  Support and encouragement.  Once all your facades are gone and you really get to know somebody, you open yourself up to love and trust in ways that you never have before in relationships. In business, you open yourself up for a relationship that allows you to also become friends and have an open dialogue of honesty and trust.

For me, I know that as I have gotten to know people and really engaged with them, my relationships thrived and became more meaningful and fruitful.   It's okay... to let others know you're hurting or sad, angry or whatever you may be going through.   If they are truly your friend or love you, they'll be the first to help you through it and you never know what piece of advice they may offer that might just help you through.   In business, you don't have to dump every single personal thing on our business colleagues, but we can open ourselves up so that they are not just colleagues, they are our friends as well.

In ending this blog, I'm reminded of the smile that comes on my face every single time I hear the theme song to the Mary Tyler Moore Show... somehow... it always reminds me that the need for a mask is long gone.  

Who can turn the world on with her smile? 

Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? 

Well it's you girl, and you should know it 

With each glance and every little movement you show it 

Love is all around, no need to waste it 

You can have a town, why don't you take it 

You're gonna make it after all 

You're gonna make it after all 

How will you make it on your own? 

This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone 

But it's time you started living 

It's time you let someone else do some giving 

Love is all around, no need to waste it 

You can have a town, why don't you take it 

You're gonna make it after all 

You're gonna make it after all

Thankful and So Much More....

It's hard to believe that we are almost to the end of November.  The days are shorter with darkness showing up at 5 pm and the nights have turned crisp and cool.   The leaves have all changed to vivid colors of orange, red and yellow that cast a beauty that seems surreal at times.  I am so fortunate to live in an area where you can truly appreciate the season and it is my favorite, for there is nothing quite like the turning of the leaves.   The last couple of months have been busy... and now,  it's hard to believe that another year is almost done.  

Anyone that knows me... knows that I love the holidays.  All of them.   Any occasion to be festive, creative and be with my crazy Clampett family. This week, we'll celebrate America's holiday.... Thanksgiving.  We've been celebrating it officially since 1863 when President Lincoln proclaimed that a national day of Thanksgiving be held the fourth Thursday of every November, although we know that many "thanksgivings" were held prior to that date.   We all refer to the very first Thanksgiving as the one held in 1621 by the pilgrims and their Native American allies where they were giving thanks to God for guiding them to the new world and providing a bountiful harvest.  They held a celebratory feast that lasted 3 days.

Nowadays... the entire month of November,  we are reminded to be thankful and we all set aside this one day a year to spend it with our family and friends to give thanks.   For me... Thanksgiving has always been a favorite from the planning of the menu, the shopping, the cooking, the Macy's parade,  the football, the eating and of course, the annual Rook card game that always took place.    Then of course, after the final meal on Thanksgiving night... the planning of the Black Friday excursion that has turned out in recent years to be comical, exhausting and something that has become a tradition.   Even though I may not need one single thing... just the thrill of it excites me watching all the people get up at 2 and 3 am standing in line, camping out...  ready to  run, grab and seize the bargains.   It's so amusing and yes, there I am right there in the middle of it.   I'm already waiting in anticipation of "the deal of 2011" and planning my pirate map of strategy.   (This way.. you hit all the stores during the peak times to get the best deals!)

The holidays are a little more difficult for me since the passing of my parents and this will be the 2nd year without both of them...... it's like I have nowhere to go "home" to... and sometimes that thought overwhelms me.   It's also in those moments that the true meaning of Thanksgiving shines down upon me.  I am grateful and extremely thankful that for 45 years,  I was able to spend it with them and I know my greatest blessings and riches are my memories of them and time spent with them.

I have many other things in my life that I am thankful and grateful for and I am sure that my list is similar to yours.  I've been very fortunate to have been blessed with healthy and happy children who have grown into wonderful adults.  I am thankful for a blue eyed, blonde headed 3 year old who tears my heart up in all the right ways.   I'm grateful for my Clampett family who always make me laugh and whenever we are together, there's always something fun in the making.   I am thankful for the  many friends I have,  from all walks of life,  and I'm often reminded that whenever I'm feeling alone or needing a laugh, there's always somebody to share a conversation, or text.  (These days... it's all about the texting!!!!)   I am grateful to love what I do work wise and have a passion for creating events that are truly a labor of love.   I really try to be thankful all through-out the year, but its nice to know that we all have this one day where we can set aside everything else and enjoy it with those we love and celebrate.

 I'm also reminded that during this time of year, there are those who are not as fortunate and those who need  a hot meal or warm clothes.   We should all be of heart to "give back" in our communities.   There are many worthwhile organizations who ensure that your time, donations, or help goes to benefit those who truly need it.   It also does something amazing for your heart knowing that you helped someone less fortunate.

So... as this week begins,  I'll pull out my mother's recipes which are one of my most treasured and prized possessions.   I'm sure I will never live up to her superb cooking skills for the holidays, but, I'll cook  with the same love that she did for so many years.  I'll plan and prepare... and try to perfect the recipes just as she did... although, most of you know that your mothers never use recipes.  They just put in a pinch of this, a pinch of that... stir... and as I have often told my mother... all she ever had to do was stick her finger in it and it was delicious.   (Oh... could I only be that lucky one day!)

This Thanksgiving, I'll enjoy time with my family and eventually,  as my adult children leave to go to their other stops that day... I'll take a few moments to reflect on how much my life has changed over the years and through it all... I am so thankful that the blessings are still overflowing.   Life is a journey and we all go through trials, tribulations and triumphs.    Its up to us to make it the best journey it can be filled with love, laughter and life.  

May you all have safe travels, a blessed holiday and most of all a reflection and insight that we all have something to be thankful for in our lives.  

Happy Thanksgiving!


(By the way... don't forget to take the giblets out of the turkey before cooking!)  (And yes... my very first one years ago... ... I didn't take them out!)  YIKES!!!!
  

The Art of Conversation... what an Exchange!

Seems I've been slacking on the writing lately.... but not without good reason.   The last 6-8 weeks have been hectic and busy focusing on a brand new event for the hospitality industry.  Yes... a new launch.... a new concept and, YES...  it was amazing.  Hospitality Business Exchange.  From start to finish... the goal never changed in creating and developing something unique for the industry.   The event focused on one-on-one meetings, networking and an exchange of ideas, insights and information.   With every new venture or idea, you're always hoping for the best... and with this dynamic concept... my fingers and toes have been crossed for quite awhile.

The hard work, effort, stress and craziness was all worth it when it was all said and done.  More than 80 food and beverage professionals gathered in a luxurious resort for 2 1/2 days where business became productive, simple and back to the basics.  Isn't it amazing that we all forget the key element of success?  We get so wrapped up in closing the sale or meeting our goals, but we forget the real reward in our business or personal lives.  Relationships.    Conversation.   Well... I think the exchange accomplished both in a great way!

I have to give a huge shout-out to those dear friends, suppliers, buyers... who from start to finish... helped with ideas and topics.  They had no idea how it would all turn out.. but their belief that I could pull this off never waivered.   Those that were somewhat doubtful, but you hung in there with me anyway... I'm so very glad you did.   It was not an easy journey by any means...but... we made it!

The event was dubbed "beta-test" by me early on in the process... it was something completely new to me as well as those we were trying to convince that it would be the greatest thing since the invention of the ipod.. ipad... iphone4?   (You get the point!)    So... with fresh ideas, a determination and passion that many have seen from me in the days of yesteryear... our goal was to launch a new event in a totally new format that centered around face-to-face.   That's right.. one-on-one!     Relationships and Conversation.   The other focus... keep it small.   Don't try to get every single person you can.  Make it exclusive and intimate.  (yep...that's practically unheard of, I know.)

 Imagine that... an event where SMALL is the NEW BIG.    As the event began... I was hopeful that the majority of those in attendance would like the format and concept and feel that their time was well spent and productive and that being a participant was really valuable.   The outcome was so much more than I could have hoped for by closing night.   Everyone was really interacting and enjoying the closeness of a small group.   Conversations were endless and fruitful.   Business was getting done in a very highly focused arena yet relaxed, comfortable and intimate.

I'm overwhelmed by all of the positive comments from friends and colleagues.  I learned quite a bit about myself during the planning, coordination and execution of this event.  ( I think I learned something about those there as well!)   If you have a passion and belief, don't settle... take the risk and go for it.   The other thing that was reconfirmed to me is that regardless of where you end up in your life.. you should never risk your relationships.   They are your most valuable asset.

For those friends and colleagues who were there... thank you doesn't seem adequate enough to show appreciation for your friendship, confidence, support and belief that we could create something new, fresh, innovative in such a small arena... but when all was said and done... we did.

The exchange of dialogue was open and ongoing.  Our industry has changed and evolved... and there's an exciting buzz about something completely off the radar that allows us to keep our cost down, yet yield high results.   The best news of all is that the conversation continues and ideas are already flowing for the next exchange.   I'm looking forward to it and I hope you are as well.   If you're in a meeting with a key buyer or supplier... make sure to mention it.    (Also... if you're on facebook - LIKE US on our new page - Hospitality Business Exchange or if you tweet, please follow me jenrobinson09 or hbe5.   You can also find me on LINKEDIN.

Geez.. looks like I'm everywhere!!!

By the way... I found some fabulous new recipes for some tasty beverages!  Have you tried Monin's Apple Pie flavor... oh my goodness!  (They also have Blueberry, Blackberry, Pomegranate and so many many more!!!!)

Where's that Exuberant Bunny When You Need Him?

Have you ever watched that energizer bunny commercial and thought... man, do I need those batteries?  How does he just keep going and going and going and..... Well, right now... I could use some new batteries to recharge.

Lately, I've been in a slump.  I am not sure when it happened or how... I just know that I'm having a hard time, getting out of it.   It feels like I'm angry all the time,  feels like I've aged 20 years in less than a month, my body is out of whack and its adapted an entirely new personality.  Who is this person in this body? How did you get in here?   Sorta a cross between alien and the exorcist.   Okay... maybe not that bad, but, honestly, I don't like the way it feels.

Life can be a frenzy and at times, we simply forget to breathe.  (Or I do anyway.)  We get so caught up in the whirlwind of our lives... that we don't realize how stressed we are until we are buried.  

Our routines take up every minute in a 24 hour day.   We get up, either already rushing or we end up that way.  We drive to work spending the time contemplating how we are going to get everything done or making use of the time while driving to get on the phone and make appointments whether doctor, dentist or something for the kids.  (One good thing in my favor, my kids are grown... they can make their own appointments, but somehow, even with that.. the time is used for something.)  We go to work, spend our day on the computer, the phone, dealing with problems or challenges, interacting with people and trying to maintain some semblance of balance.   We go home, cook dinner, text, facebook, help with homework, get our "to-do" list at home done and take care of any extracurricular activities that are on the calendar for the day.   It seems that sometimes we get so caught up in everything that has to be done... that by the time you're supposed to go to bed,  your brain simply won't shut off which leads to sleepless nights.   For me, insomnia has become part of my life for so long... I'm not sure what would happen if it went away.  It seems like a never ending cycle.   After about 6-7 days... I have to break out the sleep assist medications just so I can get some rest.  

Everybody has times in their lives when they simply need to stop and rejuvenate with whatever methods work for them.   I've thought about this a lot lately, so I began to research to come up with a list of things that are suppose to help.  I never realized that recharging your batteries actually has a list of how to do it.   Some things on the list... take a deep breath, go outside for fresh air, take a long hot bath, listen to some inspiring music, pet an animal, have lunch with someone you love, laugh loudly and hard.... and so many more.    How many of these actually work?  I'm not sure, but I intend to try each and every one until I find the right combination.   I guess the reality is we all have moments in our lives when we get worn down and there's only one person who can truly get you out of a slump.  Yourself.   Yes, it helps to have the support of family and friends, but at the end of the day... we all are responsible for our own happiness, our own actions and the end result is because of our ability to find balance in our lives.  

Working your way out of a slump is just like everything else, there will be up's and downs, but with effort and focus, I will find that happy place that sets the world back right again.   Until then, all I can do is keep looking to find what works.  I know that my life has been filled with tons of stress lately, many changes and challenges and times when I just wanted to give up.  Haven't we all felt like that at one time or another?   I know that recently my niece posted on her facebook page that she just wanted to drop out of college.  Obviously, she was having a bad day because that is not an option.   So, she had to get up, dust herself off and get right back in the groove.  

I'm the same way... I know that deep down I'm not a person who gives up even though at the moment, I feel like the scoreboard reads - Life 4 Me 0.  First, I'm much too competitive and secondly, when you give up, you let all the stress and strain in your life win.   They may get ahead and get the best of you, but it's up to you, to stay strong and come out on top.

I guess it leads me back to my own advice.... stop and smell the roses.   I thought I had my life in a good rhythm and I was learning to relax and enjoy.  Seems lately, old habits have crept back and taken over, but now that I have identified my slump, voiced it out loud and come up with a strategy... I am sure to pull myself out of the semi-black hole.

...in the meantime,  I'm on the look-out for that overactive bunny who has boundless energy and never stops.  If you find him, could you send him my way and hopefully by then, all I will need to do is place him in a locked room, turn off his drum and hold him hostage until I need him again.  

"If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race."  Oprah Winfrey

Stand Up for the ARTS and Thank You iSteve!

Well... this week, I'm on a soapbox.  It's not often that I get on one.. but when I do.. WHEW!    Where shall I start... first, I guess the story of "as you grow older, the more like your parents you become is coming true."  I had my first glimpse of realizing I may be more like my mother than I thought or knew.

This past week, controversy began brewing in my hometown.   We are very fortunate to live in a small town (college town) that is known on a national scale for writers (Faulkner, Grisham, Brown to name a few...), painters, potters, artists, and more.  Yes.. the ARTS are alive and well in Oxford, Mississippi.

Yet, this week our local board of supervisors voted 3-2 to revoke a mere $15,000 to one of the groups who supports the community with art programs.  YAC (Yoknapatawpha Arts Council).  The Arts Council is the official arts agency for Oxford and Lafayette County, with one full-time staff member, a twelve member Board of Directors, and volunteers working to transform the creative works of artists, performers, musicians, and writers into programs that create jobs, attract tourists, and enrich our community. How effective is the arts council? In 2009 the arts council working with local artists fostered over 315 days of art programs. These programs ranged from gallery exhibits, live music, performing arts, and special events including free dance lessons for all ages, free arts classes, and a writer’s series that featured nationally recognized authors.

So, as you're reading this, you're probably saying... that's wonderful what the council does for your community.  Well, you're right... it is wonderful, yet our supervisors voted to revoke funding due to mis-information regarding an art show that included partial nudity.   The supervisors did not have all of the information yet, they voted anyway.   They had heard complaints from 1 or 2, maybe 5 or 6 that the art show contained some partial nudity and was going to be held at the Powerhouse, which is home to YAC.   Now... because of the voices of a few... all of a sudden this single show is the reason for every good thing that the art council does to not get funding.  The sad part... is that if the supervisors had TABLED the vote until they could verify their concerns instead of voting without all of the information, they would have found out the following:  No Council funds were used for the art exhibit, which was moved to a nearby location on private property in a tent after a handful of community members expressed concern that the show, “Scratch and Sniff” was too racy to be held at the Powerhouse.  


The community was in an outrage over the vote and groups were formed to help support.  I guess the one good thing that came out of it is that now YAC is planning a fundraiser to help so that they don't have to rely on government funding so much, but even with that said... the funding should not have been revoked in the first place.  


I am sure that the supervisors who voted to revoke the $15,000 had a barrage of emails and phone calls  The voices of many were loud and clear. What really had me upset is that this local board could be influenced by 1 or 2, 5 or 6... instead of reaching out to the entire community that they represent.   How can you vote on something that obviously you don't have all the facts?   


 (Well... long story short.... 2 of the 3 who voted against, will not be returning to office in January and the 3rd one has had a change of heart and has said that he asked for the funding issue to be placed back on the agenda in November and he will change his vote.)   Advice for the newly elected - please get ALL the information you need to make an insightful vote against something that impacts the community.   Do not vote unless you can do so with having all of the facts.   So, for now, it appears that the controversy will be averted by a "re-do" of the vote, but the question that lingers in my mind is how many votes have happened that the local board didn't have all the information and yet... they cast a vote aye or nay.   As an elected official, you have the responsibility to represent your district, community and city with the best interests, therefore, in order to do so... know what it is you are voting for or against.   


So... how does this tale of controversy lead up to the fact that the older I get, the more like my mother... well, those of you who were blessed to know her... know that she loved nothing better than to voice her  opinion against the politicians and debate every issue she disagreed, yet many, called her their friend.   I have had many tell me she helped them more than she would ever know.  Why?  Because she stood up for what she believed in... and fought for what was right.  My single voice might not make a difference, but it makes me proud to know that I voiced it out loud for others to know where my support was on this particular issue.   Maybe.... I will start tuning in to all of the supervisor meetings and see exactly what they are doing in there.   Maybe... we should all do that.  


On another note... The world is feeling quite a loss with the passing of Steve Jobs.  I am trying to get my arms around my own thoughts about the impact that this single man has had on our society.   Even as I sit here typing.... on  yes, an Apple Macbook Pro.... listening to itunes...... answering my iphone..... and knowing that I'll pick up my ipad... at any given moment... it's hard not to try and grasp it.

Jobs will leave a legacy for changing the world when his own beginnings were that of a struggle.  He was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption, bribed in the 4th grade to "learn" with $5 and candy, and used a passion for something he loved - electronics to change the world as we know it.   Jobs shared his passion and intensity with the world, yet at the end of the day, he would have said... I am just a man.   It will be a long time before another CEO, or individual has the impact that he has had on our society.   He's probably up in heaven creating yet another app...God Bless.




"You can 't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." 

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Address, June 2005

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Fall has arrived!  Cooler temperatures seem to be just around the corner, leaves will begin changing into bursting hues of orange and red,  providing beauty all around.   I have to say, that it truly is my favorite time of year.  Maybe it's that with Fall, comes football, world series and the holidays that I love the most.  It's hard to believe it's already October and that we'll soon be thinking about Thanksgiving and even Christmas.  (Yes... some stores are already thinking Christmas.)  (Don't get me started on that rant!)  With this blog, I found myself realizing that in a few days, I will have survived another year.   I guess as we all turn another year older, we try to remember where the years have gone and what life lessons we learned along the way.   Seems the older you get, the more like one of your parents you become... or so I have been told recently.    For me, my lessons learned the hard way... are many.   You'd think that along with these new wrinkles I'm discovering,  I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice.    

So... in all my years of wisdom, what lessons have I learned the hard way.  Well, for starters... things always happen for a reason and only you can find a meaning within those things.   It goes back to the whole half empty/half full attitude.   Say... someone loses their job... one person might use that as an opportunity to do something they've always wanted to do with a new career while another might sink into despair and complain about the world doing them wrong.   I've said this many times before... your attitude truly is the foundation to your happiness.   

The grass isn't always greener.   Most of us have envisioned at one time or another when we were in a bad situation whether it was a job or relationship, that if we could only get out... my how different things would be, only to find that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.  

Don't worry about the things we can't control.   I am a worrier.  I worry about everything and as I have gotten older... it has just gotten worse.  Reacting is one of the things that I do best... and not always in a good way.   Trying to remember that the only person that I can control is myself and my reaction to others has helped me to keep my temper down to a low simmer in a lot of situations.    

Pick your battles.  Personal or professional, this is probably my hardest lesson to learn and I am still learning it.   We have all been in situations where we allowed something small to send us over the edge that created a bigger battle than necessary.   In my career, I've learned to set boundaries.   I've learned when to draw the line because people will only treat you the way you allow them to.  In my personal life, I'm still learning the lesson.  I'm hardheaded and one of those that feels you have to fight it out in order for the balance of the universe to get back on its axis.   Right or wrong, it's a hard lesson that I keep learning over and over.  (Surely, one day, I'll learn...).   

Happiness shouldn't be tied to success.   This is another one that really challenges me.   Success equates to a better being, happier person and all around better attitude.  As I've grown professionally, I realize that my failures were just as much a part of helping me become the person I have as my successes.  The failures are more important.   We all need to have the mindset that sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't.  We don't need to let the times they don't dictate our well being.

You don't pick your family or the person you love.  You do pick your friends.   There is nothing that brings me greater joy than my Clampett family and the friendships that I cherish.    "A friend is a gift you give yourself" and "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out" are two of my favorite quotes.  

Be thankful.  This isn't necessarily a lesson learned the hard way, its one that I think most people forget or take for granted.   I don't take for granted.  I have been extremely blessed.  Even when I feel like my world is crumbling and I'm being sucked into the black hole of darkness, taking a few moments and reminding myself of all the things that I have to be thankful for usually helps put things back into perspective.  

Lessons learned the hard way are never easy especially when they unintentionally or intentionally hurt you or another person.   We've all been through them. We've all learned from them and we've all vowed not to make the same mistakes twice.  In most cases, I'd like to think I've done just that, but I know that there are several areas where my weaknesses come through and I haven't completely learned that life lesson yet.  

So... as Fall continues to approach with all it's glory, I am thankful that I have made it another year.  I'm thankful for all of life's lessons I've learned the hard way.   Somehow, they've helped me become the person I am today.   

As I close out my first post of October... I will leave you to ponder the following.... (see growing older makes you so much wiser, doesn't it?) 

"Age should not have its face lifted, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character."  

"An old fox understands the trap".  - Proverb

I remember...

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?  The words of Alan Jackson's song always tugs my heart, but the words ring true.   I remember.   I remember where I was, the emotions, the fear, the prayers... yes, I remember.  Do you?

Time has come and gone... yet, the memory of 9/11 lives on within every American.  Somehow it seems like yesterday.  For those who lost loved ones, for those who survived the tumbling of the towers, for those who fought to save them and for every American who watched as our nation came under fire... September 11, 2001 changed us and changed our nation.

We gained a new respect for our policemen, firemen, military and those who went above and beyond that day.  Strangers became friends and somehow, as a nation we each embraced the other and the sadness felt by one was felt by all.   As a country, we were emotional and we were hurting, yet, we leaned on each other and survived.   Questions still linger as to how this could have happened and there will always be different answers to those questions.

We made a vow that day... not to forget.   Memorials have been placed, ceremonies will happen from coast to coast, small to big.   We remember and we pay tribute, not just one year after, but every year after.  The names will be read of those who perished in the burning towers and those who lost their lives being a hero on that united flight.   They will all be remembered every year on 9/11.       

Are we safer today because of this tragedy?  Are we more aware as a country?   Can we let down our guard?  We can't afford to even think that it couldn't or wouldn't happen again.  We must remain diligent in our efforts to protect our nation at whatever the cost.   In May, elite American forces ... NAVY SEALS.. got the man who architected the 9/11 attacks.   For one brief moment, did you feel gratitude?  Did you feel relief?   Did you feel any emotion?  If you are an American, you definitely felt something.

As the anniversary of 9/11 is remember, we should all reflect.  We should stand together as one nation under God.  We should say a special thank you to those who serve in our armed forces - who fight for our freedoms so that we may have some sense of feeling secure in our homeland.  We should thank our policemen, firemen and all who work tirelessly to serve the citizens of this great nation.   We should listen to the words in Alan Jackson's song.

For me... I know Jesus and I talk to God.   I do believe that faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us and the greatest is love.   Most of all, I remember.

God Bless America.  

Simply Livin' - My Best of the Best!

I've had a lot of people ask me about my Simply Livin' list that is located on my blog page.   It's my personal "best of the best" list and each time I find a new gem or something that just blows me away, it gets added to my list.  Last week I was in a conversation with some really good friends and we were discussing this list of mine.   Many wanted to know how I choose what goes on my list, why it's there, and so on... so, this week, I thought I would expand on a few of my personal "Simply Livin'" things.  There's no way, I can blog about all of them or we'd really be here... all day.  So... I've selected some of the highlights and the way I look at it,  I guess it's a take off of Oprah's favorite things.... with the only difference being... I do not have that kind of power!  (Go figure... I mean, we are both from Mississippi, right?)

First, let me say thank you again to everyone who clicks and takes time to read,  each time I post a blog.  I just surpassed 2000 reads and I am thrilled!  When I decided to write this blog, I wasn't sure I would have 10 people who would be interested in what I might write about... so needless to say, I am quite humbled.  Also... saying a special thanks that my friends came out okay in the Northeast.  I was glued to the weather channel waiting on news.

Now... let's get to it.  Simply Livin!  First, the name for my list came about because as I was off on one of my adventures... I realized that life is so precious and short and that we need to grasp it.   Therefore, my list came to life... because I believe in "simply livin" day to day!

The first thing on my list is the nickname for my family.  "The Clampetts".   I enjoy every moment that I spend with them and there is never a dull moment.  Our nickname came about many years ago... on one of our first trips together... it was like a free-for-all.   You would have thought that we had never been anywhere in our entire lives.    So, if you haven't given your family a nick-name.. you should.  It will make for some great memories!

30-A and Seaside, Seaside, Seaside! - My favorite coastal community, affectionately known, as the Redneck Rivieria.   This unique community takes you back to yesteryear, when time seems to stop.  The beach, music on the lawn, bicycles as the primary mode of transportation, long walks, and just taking time to enjoy the simplicity life has to offer.   There are so many eclectic restaurants, shops and stops along 30-A, there is no way to name the all... it's just worth the trip to stop at every one of them!  (By the way... there was a Jim Carrey movie filmed there... do you know which one it was?)

There are several restaurants on my list and each for different reasons.   Bern's Steakhouse has the absolute dessert experience!  Chef Voila's in Atlantic City would be ranked as my all time favorite epicurean experience in regards to the atmosphere and food. (I really hope they are okay from the hurricane).   Wow!  Geno's Pizza in Chicago... absolutely, hands down the best pizza I have ever eaten!  Best Catfish.... right here locally, for me - Taylor Grocery.   It's been written up in Southern Living and it was also featured on one of the cooking channels.  Fish Bones in Orlando is one of my "must stops" everytime I go.   I love the Chilean Sea Bass there.   Best chain experience for me was at Capital Grille in Las Vegas.   Over the top service overlooking the strip!  New to my list... and definitely in my top 3 - STK at The Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas!  There is something surreal about eating fabulous food and listening to the 80's!  The Bombay Club in New Orleans has the best filet and one of the most extensive martini menu's known on the planet.  TraVigne out in St. Helena, CA is a must stop for their charming patio and their eclectic menu.    Okay... now that you're starving... , what are some of your favorites?

As I've traveled, I have really found some hidden gems across the US as far as hotels.   The Dana Hotel & Spa in Chicago tops the list.   (The showers are worth the price of admission!)   Hotel ZaZa is a new addition... hip, trendy and the next "IT" GIRL of hotel land!  In Las Vegas, The Cosmopolitan and Encore top my list of favorites!   My best luxury experience was at The Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills and my favorite resort would have to be the Ritz Carlton in St. Thomas.  (WOW!).  There are many other properties that have impressed me but sometimes its the overall experience that makes my list.  

Tag Hauer is my favorite watch!  I don't know how I ever survived before I was fortunate to own one, but I absolutely adore mine!

Simply Livin' doesn't get much better than traveling and obviously for me, DISNEYWORLD tops my list.    Hello Mickey!  It's a rule in my family... every 2 years is a must... and for me, personally, I have to go every year!  Just to get my fix!  I am a disney fanatic!  I've stayed at all of the Disney properties and find that I do have a few favorites --- Grand Floridian, Disney's Boardwalk Villas, Wildness Lodge and the new villas at Animal Kingdom.  (Yes... I am worse than the kids!) I actually wrote a whole blog about the Mouse!

For complete grown up time --- Napa Valley... beautiful, peaceful, relaxing and not to mention wine.  Two of my favorite spots for sharing a glass of vino and watching the sunset - Auberge' du Soleil and Solange Calistoga Resort... both located off Silvarado Trail.  It simply does NOT get any better.  Did I mention the wine?  Two recent finds that really impressed me - Raymond Estates Crystal Room - do the DIVINE experience and Rubicon Estates.  Rubicon is one of the most gorgeous properties in the Valley.   My overall favorite tasting - Sawyer.  (They simply do not have one single bad wine!)

One of the best travel trips I've taken was to Savannah, Georgia.   Midnight of Garden and Evil Tour is a MUST.   Eating at The Pink House, another must.   Yum.   Another favorite, Asheville/Blowing Rock in North Carolina. Something special about the Blue Ridge Mountains and make sure you tour the home of the Vanderbilts - The Biltmore.   Best general store in the land - MAST General Store.  

Another simply livin that I cannot live without is my KEURIG.   What a discovery and the best part of waking up... each and every day.  I love the simplicity, ease and all of the different flavors at my fingertips at any given moment of every day.   When I first got mine, they were relatively unknown... now... they are all the rage!

Sports!  I am a sports enthusiast!  Love me some college football, particularly SEC football... and my beloved Ole Miss Rebels.   I love pro football and was estatic when the lock-out finally came to an agreement.  New York Giants, New Orleans Saints are both my faves, although I do find myself pulling for Peyton at times.   MLB Baseball... the Yankees and Cardinals.   I'm not an avid fan of basketball, but find myself watching during the play-offs.

My favorite thing to relax... hot stone massages, which ironically is humorous considering many years ago, my first experience was absolutely terrifying. Just ask my best friend about my time at the Arlington in Hot Springs, AR and Bertha.  I promise it would be great for a laugh or two... probably twenty!  My favorite spa is located in Las Vegas at the Venetian - Canyon Ranch.   I'm also a big fan of Qua at Caesars.  

Another thing on my "Simply Livin" list one of my all time favorite television shows.  I hardly ever really watch tv, but I am 100% addicted to NCIS.   I have watched from day one... and find it to be one of the most compelling shows on television.  Somehow, I find myself relating to all of the characters and even find that some of my friends relate to them as well.   Great television!

I believe that everyone should make a list of all of their favorite things... and relish the memories.  Sharing with others is the best referral you could give.   For me, it simply doesn't get any better than sharing special moments with special people in your life.   I've been blessed to have had that opportunity and each time, I take a deep breath and know that in this moment, I am "SIMPLY LIVIN".

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What First Impression Do You Make?

This week, I'm on a crusade for first impressions.   I guess its' been on my mind since my last plane ride.   There were many times when you sat in first class and the folks around you were very well dressed businessmen and women who actually took time to dress.  Nowadays, I am shocked that some people actually wear some of the things that they do out in public and they are sitting in first class.   Maybe it's not fair to judge a book by it's cover, but, isn't there such a thing as common sense?  

To me, a first impression is the last impression.   I realize that many people don't believe in it while others feel very strongly about it.   I am one of those people who feel that making a good first impression is one way to open doors to opportunities and have long lasting relationships.  I guess I just feel like it's hard to recover from a bad first impression because the image is already built up in your mind.    


When you go out into the world to make your own way, life is an adventure and you never know who you're going to meet or how they may impact your life somewhere down the line. If you go about your daily life without ever caring what you look like or smell like, then in all likelihood, success is not going to cross your path anytime soon.    If you take time each and every day to actually care about your appearance, then chances are you'll be taken a bit more serious and you'll actually feel better about it.   Who knows who the person sitting next to you on the airplane might be?  

Many years ago,  (during my first career), I had conversations with several of my colleagues on first impressions.   At the time, I was doing a number of interviews and honestly, I was shocked at some of the appearances.  What really made it difficult was the fact that those who were applying for positions were more than qualified for the job - so, it was something that I really couldn't comprehend.   I'm not saying that you should go out and spend boo-koodles of dollars on something new every time you have an interview or important event, but what I am saying, is that in my personal opinion - taking time to be groomed, pressed clothing and making the effort goes a long way.

Traveling can be tiring and I certainly understand the need to be comfortable, but in today's society, you can actually dress up jeans.   You don't have to look like you just rolled out of bed and never picked up the comb.   (And yes, I am one of those people who is afraid to go out running errands without getting fully dressed because I'm worried of who's going to see me. )  Yes, I have done it and every time, I run into someone and feel so embarrassed that I have on my favorite run-down t-shirt and such.

In business, I have found that when you are dressed and groomed, you are taken more seriously.   I know that clothes don't define a person, but again, if you lose them with the first impression, you aren't likely to gain them back, regardless of how good you are at what you do.   I have always found that by putting my best foot forward in every meeting has allowed me the opportunity to let people get to know me and it made developing a relationship easier.   I recently read an article where experts were saying  that when you go in a meeting and talk to a new person, within a few seconds of your meeting you have been assessed. This assessment can be even at a glimpse.

Isn't it true of yourself that when you look at people for the  first time, you evaluate their appearance, behaviors,  ways and styles; each and every thing from head to toe.   Aren't you watching  conduct, characteristics, body-gestures and even grooming and outfits?   From  accessories like jewelry, watch, and even their briefcase?

Within a few moments of your first glimpse you have a  long lasting image of the other person.   Either that person has won you over or you may be disheartened.  We live in a much more relaxed society than we once did and with the uncertain economic times, it's easy to get depressed and not care.  I guess the reality is when you stop caring, you are holding your ownself back from success.   Sometimes, when I'm down and don't feel like getting dressed... I know that my whole disposition is different.   We all go through days where we just want to stay in our pj's and spend the day lounging around.  (And isn't that exactly what we do on those days... lounge around?)   Should we take this attitude when we travel?  When we have an important meeting? If nothing else, shouldn't we have some respect for others and just take time to look appropriate? 

I guess I reflect on the people that I have always taken 2 or 3 looks at and thought to myself, wow, they are successful or... to the other spectrum... what on earth were they thinking?   You either have a warm, fuzzy feeling about someone from their first impression or you immediately think, they need to get a life.   (Don't say that you haven't done it... we all have done it!)

Isn't it worth the time and effort each and every day because yes, first impressions do make a difference.    What first impression do you make?   Take a few moments and ponder it, your answer might shock you.  

Are You Stopping to Smell the Roses?

Our lives are passing us by and we aren't brave enough to simply stop... and smell the roses.  We are so busy that we wouldn't recognize the smell of a rose if it slapped us in the face.     We find that 24 hours in a day are just not enough.   Does this sound familiar?  

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my career, my family and most of all my friends.   As I look back over the last 20 something years, I think, where has the time gone?     For many of those years, I confess, that I was a self-made workaholic.   My days were filled with an obsessiveness toward work that I realize now was unhealthy.   I know that those days impacted not only me, but my family and my friends.   Work ruled me. 

I think at one time or another, we have all often questioned whether or not we made the right decisions and wonder how our lives would be different if we had took an alternate route.   I'm a believer that everything happens for a reason, so wherever I end up, I know that is simply how its supposed to be.   As I've gotten older (and hopefully much wiser), I realize that taking time to simply stop and enjoy life was something that I was missing.  Working 24 hours a day is not going to change the outcome regardless of what I had instilled in my brain.  I've tried to change that mentality over the last 3 years because sometimes things happen in our lives that allow us the opportunity to open a window and look out and get a new perspective.    

In today's world of communication, there are so many ways to communicate, but are we still too busy to take the time and do it on a consistent basis?   Are we still too busy to realize that our most important assets are relationships?   I guess I have mellowed as time as passed.   I see the world through different glasses now and know that life is short and that anything can happen.   If someone calls me or texts me, I need to stop.. and respond because it could be the last phone call or text that they send.   We have no way of knowing what will happen next or when our number will be called, but what we do know is that our lives are so much better because of the people in them.

Living life each day to the fullest should be everyone's motto.   There is a place for work, our family and our friends.  It's up to us to make room for all of them.   It takes effort and an understanding that sometimes our days aren't all going to be the same and that we have to adjust and adapt to the changes in them.   We have to remind ourselves that if we don't stop and smell the roses, we are missing out on some of life's greatest pleasures.  

I know it sounds hokey or maybe it sounds unrealistic.   I was once there... in that place where there were no windows or doors.   I felt the world on my shoulders and carried the burden of making it to the top and being successful.  I felt 24 hours simply were not enough time to get all the things done on my task list.  I gave and gave and gave and in the end... I really don't know that it made a difference.   I realized a long time ago, money doesn't buy you happiness and it definitely doesn't define who you are in life.    Once I released the burden of being a workaholic and opened the windows and allowed life to truly get a good look at me, I found a freedom that I embraced.   

I don't want to mislead that I don't still work.  I do.  I definitely work and I work hard.  I still have a tremendous passion for where I want to end up in my career.  I know that I want to enjoy every single thing that I do and I am working toward that goal.    But, now... when my phone rings or I get a text -- I stop and make time for the person on the other end.  I'm now making time to be with friends and share life experiences more and to enjoy the smell of those roses.  My life is healthier now and I'm happier.   I still have challenges (boy, do I have challenges) but, I've pushed those aside and decided to really focus on what's important - my relationships.  

When is the last time you smelled the roses?   Life is short.   You never know,  when, you won't be able to pick up the phone or text and have that person on the other end.     Is it really worth it?  I realize my perspective might be somewhat skewed.  After the loss of both of my parents, within 6 months of each other, I felt empty.  (I still do).  Losing them made me realize that nothing is for certain and you should never take each day we are given on this earth for granted.  Instead, we should embrace it as well as those who are in it with us.   Are you too busy for those you love?

 

Same old dog... a bunch of new tricks!

About a year ago, I posted this blog in another situation.  As I found myself reflecting on new opportunities, I found myself led back to it... and taking time to revise it and re-write it, I found that it still fits everything I am feeling today.    I recently watched the movie, The Company Men starring Ben Affleck, Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones and others.   It hit home in many ways.  It allowed me to take a good hard look at myself and where I want to be... and to reach deep inside to discover what I truly wanted in regards to my career as well as what's really important in life.   It's funny, how at the oddest times, we relate to a movie, a song or book... that moves us to the point of finally taking chances on ourselves.   

How many times have you heard the phrase, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?   When starting on any new journey, whether personal or professional... you always have some apprehension.  Butterflies that seem to appear when you least expect them... although at times, they can be caused from excitement and anticipation.   In my own personal situation, leaving a job 3 years ago that I loved and launching myself into a whole new arena was frightening and yet, I knew at the time, it was definitely the right direction I needed to take.   Sitting here, 3 years later, I absolutely know that it was the right decision.    I knew going into a new situation that there would be areas of expertise that I did not have nor felt I would ever have, but, I also felt that I could gain enough knowledge to learn enough to get by or surround myself with enough people who did have the expertise.   We don't always make the right decisions and when we realize that we have made a bad one, we have to be strong enough to admit it and get back on the right path.   

It can be quite scary embarking on a new adventure.    Where to begin?   How do you find your niche that allows you to become a viable entity in a new market or to continue to be relevant in an industry that you still wanted to be part of - just in a new way.   For me,    as I began the process of launching my consulting company… this old proverb came to mind endless times and … there were days, when I would ask myself could this really be true?  Am I too old to learn something new?   Will I be able to have any success going forward?  The questions were endless.     I thought that I had found the answers a year or so ago... only to discover, that I was wrong.   I was angry with myself for allowing myself to believe in something that did not come to fruition in the way that I had expected or believed.   I realize now, that without risks, we don't learn.  Without learning, we remain the same.   In hindsight, everything happens for a reason and even though the answers I thought I had were wrong, I've learned some valuable insights along the way.   I am still seeking the answers, but feel I am on the right path to gaining them.   

I have found that the answer is simple to the old proverb...…no, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach him alternative ways of doing the ones he already knows.   My journey has allowed me to take the things that I already knew and find a way of adapting and making them work in a new situation.  Sales are sales… no matter what you are selling and my philosophy has always been sell yourself, sell your company and then finally, sell your product.  Marketing is marketing… keep the messaging simple, on target  with your audience and don’t be afraid to try something new.   Relationships are still the most viable way to get things done in any situation, so hold them close and know that they are your most valuable asset.  Being old, doesn't mean being worn out.   I've often heard many who changed careers mid-stream, mid-life say that the first year afterwards was the scariest of their lives.   I absolutely understand that feeling.   I found that what helped me the most was surrounding myself with the right people has made all the difference in the world.   People who know the business or situation you're trying to get into and learning from them and understanding how to take your own area of expertise and apply their knowledge to it can help propel you into a brand new arena with success.     So, with these things that I did know… I’ve taken a step back… and just re-adjusted the them to fit my new arena.   Wherever my path takes me, I know that regardless of how I get there, I'm not too old to try.   I'm not too old to learn and I am certainly not too old to have the enthusiasm and energy needed to create and find success.   

After breaking it down… the journey did not seem nearly as scary and I found that… maybe the old proverb was just a way of providing an excuse for those who don’t want to try.   And for those of you, who like me contemplate change and reaching for your own happiness  - my word of advice is that without taking risk you won't ever know what could be... without dreaming and reaching for the stars, you'll never achieve the one thing that could completely fulfill your life.   At times, I've been afraid and taken the safe route.   I realize now, I was letting myself down by not going for what I truly wanted.   Every day, I become more familiar with my dreams and goals.   I work diligently to stay true to myself and to understand what it is I truly seek.   When, I'm feeling like my time has come and gone,  I take it one step at a time.  I reflect on all the great successes I've had and look forward to those I've yet to meet.   Challenges will come and go, but it's the hunt in finding the perfect one for me that keeps me motivated.  

So next time someone tells me… you can’t teach an old dog new tricks… I think I’ll smile and say… SURE, you can!